No Time for Love, pt1/?
Title: No Time for Love
Author: Okami_myrrhibis aka VAWitch
Pairing: Spike/Bumblebee
Rating: PG13/T
Genre: Romance/Friendship, light Slash
Summary: Spike realizes how important Bee is to him
A/N: First fic offering; thx to
kujazlilmage for beta'ing; entered for
mecha_erotica for Sept 07 challenge (Arguably) Canon Pairings - came in 2nd :)
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"Spike!” cried Bumblebee, awakening with a start. He realized quickly that he must have gone into stasis for a while. Checking his internal chronometer, Bee noted that there was a data gap of several minutes. He turned carefully onto his side to check on his companion.
“Spike? Hey buddy-wake up.” He noted the numerous gashes and sheen of sweat on his friend’s brow. Luckily, it seemed that his makeshift bandages and splints had slowed the worst of the bleeding. Looking around at the remains of the speaking hall, he muttered, “At least the Decepticons still can’t hit small targets worth a slag.”
A low moan to his right caught his attention. “Bee?”
“I’m here, Spike. Don’t move-you got pretty banged up.”
“Where are-?” He groaned, trying to bring his hand to his face. “Damn, that hurts.” With a moan, he stopped trying to move. Listening to the sounds of gunfire in the distance, he sighed. Chuckling weakly, “Well, this one almost tops our trip into Unicron, eh buddy?”
“Almost.”
“Damn-we manage to avoid being eaten by a big freaking planet, only for the Cons to blow us up.” Feeling a strange sensation in his chest, and seeing black edging along his vision, Spike gasped, “I’m glad you’re here, Bumblebee. You’ve always…there…for…”
“Spike!” Seeing his friend had passed out again, Bee un-spaced a cloth to wipe away some of the sweat and blood. “I’ll always be here for you, Spike. Just please stay alive…” softly stroking Spike’s cheek, he whispered, “I love you.” Seeing that there was nothing more to do, Bumblebee offlined all of his systems except his own life support, and focused his remaining power to his tracking beacon. He hoped the Autobots would fight off their enemies and get to them before it was too late.
----
He felt his systems come online slowly, as if he’d been in a deep recharge. Opening his optics, Bumblebee saw the familiar ceiling of Autobot City’s Med Bay.
“Great, you’re awake!” chimed the cheery sound of First Aid. Seeing that Bumblebee was struggling to sit up, he hurried over to assist. “You really should stay lying down, Bumblebee-your internal systems are still repairing themselves.”
“Where’s Spike? Is he alive?” Frantically, Bumblebee tried to look around the Med Bay.
“Calm yourself. Spike’s fine.” First Aid explained, “He got pretty damaged when the Decepticons fired on the university. Luckily, you two fell into one of the basements below the stage. If you hadn’t, even more of the building would have landed on you, or you might have been caught by the secondary explosions. You’ve both been out for three days. I can’t believe you used some of your wiring & support rods for splints. It’s a wonder you didn’t offline yourself permanently.”
“As long as it helped Spike, I’d do it again.”
“Yes, well…it did help stop the worst of the bleeding. He is in the human-medicine wing in the City. He should be awake. We were able to use an osteo-dermal regenerator to repair the worst of the damage. Now, it’s just a matter of letting his body finish the rest. He’ll go home tomorrow.” Pushing down on Bumblebee’s chest, First Aid said, “It’s time for you to do the same.”
Grumbling, Bumblebee lay back, and initiated his recharge routine. “Thank Primus he’s okay.”
In his room, in another part of the medical wing, Spike Witwicky was having some serious thoughts. Most of the ordeal was vague, which wasn’t surprising. One minute, he was talking with the head of the research lab as they walked out of the Speakers Hall; the next, the Decepticons had attacked. He’d yelled for Matsuno to get everyone to safety, and then told Bee that they should make sure everyone was out of the hall while Hot Rod and a handful of other Autobots kept the ‘Cons busy. He remembered asking Bee if he saw anyone, and then a LOT of pain. But what played over again and again was something he thought he’d heard. “I love you.” He could surely place that voice; it was one that made him feel safe inside. “I’m positive that voice is Bee’s…but I must have dreamt it.” Rolling over, he tried to get some sleep, and make sense of his dreams.
A few days later, after being sent home for the last of the soreness to go away, Spike was making his way towards the kitchen for something to drink. He was trying to figure out why there was tension between him and Bumblebee; it seemed like every time Bee looked at Spike, he would make an excuse to leave the room. Spike stopped just inside the kitchen when he heard low voices coming through the window from the backyard.
“I can’t keep doing this anymore, Carly. I-I wish-” A soft sigh. “It’s just not enough to be in his life. And I can’t tell him.”
“You should tell him. And I mean now, when he’s not passed out from getting a building blown up around him.” Chuckling, “That was the cowardly way out. And you’re anything but a coward.”
Chuckling to himself, Bee answered, “Thanks. Carly, are you sure?”
“Yes. He needs to know. This has gone on long enough. If you leave without talking to him, you’ll both regret it.”
Spike opened the back door, asking: “I need to know what?”
Carly was standing in front of Bumblebee, who was sitting on his special-made chair. She pressed a hand to Bee’s face briefly, with a soft “Good luck,” before turning to go back into the house. She stopped next to Spike, and clasped his cheek. “Remember that I love you too.” Ignoring his confused expression, she walked past him into the kitchen, and continued on.
Looking at his best friend for the last 30 years, Spike noted how worn Bumblebee seemed. It wasn’t just the patches that still needed to be painted from the explosion, but a weariness and sadness in his optics. “Bee? What is it? You know we’ve always been able to talk about anything.”
“Spike-” Bumblebee began. “Primus, this is hard.” In an unconscious motion picked up over the years, he rubbed his faceplate, trying to organize his thoughts. “Spike, what do you remember from after the explosion; after I made the splint for your leg?”
“I remember it hurting like a mother. I think I blacked out,” he said, coming towards one of the other chairs by the tall oak tree. “I think you called my name, and asked me to hang on. I made a crack about Unicron, didn’t I?” At Bumblebee’s nod, he continued. “I remember someone saying ‘I love you.’” Spike looked at Bee’s face, which had blanked into his I’m-a-spy-you-won’t-get-nothin’-from look. “It was you, wasn’t it?”
Face giving nothing away, “What makes you say that?”
With a soft grunt, Spike plopped into a chair. He looked at his friend, then at the setting sun. “Because I remember feeling safe; that the voice would make everything alright.” He paused a moment before continuing. “Only my dad, Carly, Optimus or you ever made me feel like that, Bee. And since the voice wasn’t deep enough for Dad or Optimus, and it certainly wasn’t Carly’s - that leaves you.” With a grin, “Plus, none of the others were there.”
Looking at the ground, Bumblebee gave a soft grunt of his own.
“Why are you leaving, Bee?”
Getting up, Bee started to pace. “I’m moving out because I can’t live like this anymore, Spike. To be part of your life, but not part of it.”
“Wh-why haven’t you said anything before now?”
Stopping in front of Spike, he dropped to one knee. “Because I know about your culture, Spike. I remember how…weirded out you would get after helping me clear my energon lines to overload, before you got serious with Carly.”
“Does she know how you feel?”
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
Obviously reluctant, Bee replied, “Since just after you proposed to her. I was feeling left out.” At Spike’s quiet, “Why?” he responded, “Because I knew that she could do so many things for you that I never could; things that I could never give you or your upbringing would never allow us to share. She confronted me, and asked if I was in love with you. I couldn’t lie to her. She’s also my friend. When I said yes, but that I would never tell you; that she was better for you than I was; she said that she’d love you for me. All she asked was that I keep doing what I had been-keeping you as safe as I could, that I could do it better than she could.”
Looking back at the ground, he softly said, “That’s why I have to leave. I failed to hold up my end-first with Unicron, then again last week. I nearly lost you both times, and I would’ve traded my life for yours in a second. I wouldn’t want to live if you weren’t there.”
“Damn it, Bee. You really should have told me this years ago.” He made to get up, and Bumblebee stepped back. “I need to think about this.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Spike.”
“I know. But I need to get some things clear in my head.” Looking at his best friend, he added, “And my heart.” He took a few steps towards the door, then turned back and stepped to Bumblebee. “Give me a few days, alright? I know you’re more than a friend to me-but right now, I’m not sure what or how much more. Can you do that?”
“Then…you aren’t mad at me?”
“A little; I’m mad at you and Carly for not telling me. But, I think I understand why. I just gotta have some time to process things. Okay?”
“Sure Spike. Of course I can do that.” Bee gave a small smile.
Smiling a bit in return, Spike gave a lingering pat on Bumblebee’s shoulder, and went back inside to look for his wife.
----
Later on, in their bedroom, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Continuing to pack a suitcase, Carly replied, “Why should I? It wasn’t my feelings that were involved. I told him years ago I understood. It was true back then, it’s true now. I told Bee I would love you for him as much for myself. Not that I would ever trade Daniel, but I think you sell the bond you and he have short, Spike. You’ve shared so many things, been there for each other, and an understanding of things I never will have. Sometimes I’m jealous of the time you two spend together, working on some old car, or a treaty to help another world not fall into the horrors Cybertron did.” She stopped her packing for a moment. “Bee’s a part of us-he always has been. But what part he continues to be…only you and he can decide.”
Walking towards her husband, Carly said, “I love you, Spike, and I know you love me. I love Bumblebee, too. Now you know Bumblebee loves you as well. It’s up to you to decide if and how you love him.” She kissed him softly on the lips. “I have to go to MIT to this board meeting. I’ll be back in a week. Call me if you want to talk-I’ll be glad to listen. Just make sure you also talk to Bee.”
“OK. Have a safe trip, hon.” He gave her a soft kiss, ever so grateful she’d picked him.
That night, Spike didn’t get much sleep. He tossed and turned, replaying numerous conversations and adventures in his head. He realized that both Bumblebee and Carly were right: Bee had always been there, a part of their lives. But he also saw how Bee wasn’t a part of things. Bee being Bee, he never complained or let on how he felt; but Spike felt guilty all the same for not picking up on things. While he wasn’t sure what he was going to do, he knew that his life wouldn’t be the same if Bumblebee left. Eventually, he fell into an uneasy slumber.
For the next few days, both Spike and Bumblebee went about their usual routine, which included reviewing a ceasefire agreement on a distant world of sentient mechanoids. After the initial tension, they fell back into their easy-going pattern, making jokes, and tossing jibes at each other, as well as about their fellow Autobots.
On the fourth day, Spike realized he had made a decision-had, in fact, made it long ago, when he became friends with the bright-yellow alien robot. Walking out to the back yard, where Bumblebee was sitting and watching the sunset, Spike asked, “Hey Bee, you got a minute?”
“Sure Spike.”
Sitting next to his friend, Spike took a deep breath. “I’ve come to a decision, Bumblebee…about us.” Seeing the tensing of his companion, he hastened to add, “We’ve known each other and been through too much for me to not give you…us…a chance. I’ve always felt more for you than as a friend; but all that conditioning society gives, it made me put the brakes on really thinking or feeling about it. But I can’t let you walk out from my life not giving you a chance. You’ve waited all this time for me; how could I do less for you?” He looked over at the yellow VW, who hadn’t moved or made a sound. “I don’t know if I can do this-be in a relationship with both you and Carly-but I want to try.”
With a soft smile on his faceplate, Bee replied, “Thank you, Spike. I would never do anything to hurt you. Or make you any more uncomfortable than you already are,” he said with a chuckle, getting a rueful smile in return. “I want to do whatever you’ll let me.”
With only a slight hesitation, Spike leaned over to Bumblebee, and gently pressed his lips to Bee’s. Surprised how soft and warm they were, he leaned into his love, curiosity getting the better of him. Bumblebee deepened the kiss, and the two put their arms around each other. After a few minutes, Spike came up for air, feeling his body responding to the kiss and the small surges of energy that Bumblebee generated as his circuits responded. He looked up at his partner, who seemed to be having as much difficulty thinking as he was.
Body tightening in anticipation, he asked, “So, Bee…just what did you want to do to me?”
A/N: If you want more smut, let me know below - I've had 2 requests so far, and I have some ideas percolating.