Lost little girl
Been feeling pretty out of sorts since Friday. I didn't think it would bother me this much and I've mentioned that to a few people. I said that I wouldn't be devastated or anything if I were to find out that Darryl is in a relationship. Ok, so I wouldn't say I'm devastated, but I'm definitely upset. Maybe more upset with myself than with him. I've been actively defending him everytime I talk to someone about what happened on Friday.
Example:
Me: well, it's not his fault
Friend: Yes it is because he didn't tell you that he's married
Me: Well, he probably assumed that I knew he was married when I commented on his ring.
And I can justify my comment. I should've gone with my gut feeling that the ring was a wedding ring since it's the only piece of jewelry that Darryl wears. The way I see it, if a guy is wearing only one piece of jewelry and it's a ring on his wedding ring finger, there's a pretty good chance it's wedding ring. The guys that wear jewelry for fashion typically wear more than one piece of jewelry. Anyways, I just typed the word "jewelry" so many times that it's starting to look foreign.
I've fallen back into that lost semi-depression where I feel like I'm out of place everywhere I go and I'm not at home anywhere. So if you're ever on the phone with me and you know I'm in my house and I say, "I want to go home" don't think I'm going crazy and don't say that I am at home. I know exactly where this lost semi-depression is coming from, and I don't like it one bit. Not having a relationship seems to be bad for my physical health too. I've noticed that everytime I'm in a good relationship, I will go a longer length of time without having a relapse of nephrotic syndrome. Maybe they've just been coincidences, but think what you want, that's just what I've noticed.
Whatever, I think I've done enough emo-ing to irritate the lot of you so I'll just shut up.
Example:
Me: well, it's not his fault
Friend: Yes it is because he didn't tell you that he's married
Me: Well, he probably assumed that I knew he was married when I commented on his ring.
And I can justify my comment. I should've gone with my gut feeling that the ring was a wedding ring since it's the only piece of jewelry that Darryl wears. The way I see it, if a guy is wearing only one piece of jewelry and it's a ring on his wedding ring finger, there's a pretty good chance it's wedding ring. The guys that wear jewelry for fashion typically wear more than one piece of jewelry. Anyways, I just typed the word "jewelry" so many times that it's starting to look foreign.
I've fallen back into that lost semi-depression where I feel like I'm out of place everywhere I go and I'm not at home anywhere. So if you're ever on the phone with me and you know I'm in my house and I say, "I want to go home" don't think I'm going crazy and don't say that I am at home. I know exactly where this lost semi-depression is coming from, and I don't like it one bit. Not having a relationship seems to be bad for my physical health too. I've noticed that everytime I'm in a good relationship, I will go a longer length of time without having a relapse of nephrotic syndrome. Maybe they've just been coincidences, but think what you want, that's just what I've noticed.
Whatever, I think I've done enough emo-ing to irritate the lot of you so I'll just shut up.