019 ￥[EDIT: TL;DR Under cut is ICly deleted ]
[ Supposed to be Private; ]
[ Post Below ICly is deleted, gone and otherwise not here; ]
It is a waste of breath to say the curses of late have been less than savoury and all together a general frustration. I was shamefully unaware we were in the presence of so many with blood on their hands, but a curse that made that metaphorical idea a reality was... Hm. How to describe it.
Troublesome, from every angle. For those it involved, for those who had to witness it and for the hospital staff who had to deal with the frustration of people coming in and contaminating sterilised areas with blood that was not from physical wounds. This wasted staff time and considerably increased the cost spent on cleaning everything up again. On top of that it didn't help that time was spent checking each "patient" in case they did have a real injury and as a result those who were real patients had to wait even longer than necessary due to the curse-related hysteria.
An annoyance and it set back administration work further as a result. I'm behind on everything and this is not acceptable.
Additionally, I am under the impression there is a general sense of discomfort among the host club members after the recent Opera House murder. It's hardly surprising. Perhaps it is the medical professionalism that has been hammered into me since I was a child removing me from feeling a real sense of distress regarding this matter, however it is not difficult to tell when Tamaki is spooked and takes direct action to draw the members away.
Where we are doesn't matter, ultimately. We are devoid the luxuries of home and yet surprisingly all seem to have adjusted rather well. It doesn't seem such a feat for Haruhi, which is meant as no insult - she is very capable and at times like this it is a reassurance. Hikaru and Kaoru appear to have their occasional lapse in tolerance, but on the whole it is no concern, Hunny-senpai is content as long as there is cake even if that is what has the one of the largest impacts on the budget it can not be helped. With Mori-senpai no longer in the City the sacrifice is tolerable and easy to accommodate at present. If the intake increases, however, there may be concerns.
Truly, the one who trouble me the most, as ever, is Tamaki. Some days I want to smack that damn smile off his face, but it's a different kind of desire to do so as when we were younger, before that time. No, now it is different. We are older and while he may have the most effective way of dealing the harsh realities of this City it is... infuriating to see him turn such blind eyes to it all. The expression is "smack some sense into someone", I believe.
And yet to do so may break something I didn't mean to, may change him, may make him jaded like everyone else. I do not want that.
And, damn it all, at the same time I don't want to handle him with kid gloves like he's some kind of delicate piece of glass because he isn't. It pisses me off. More than I can put into words and more than I dare to acknowledge fully, this idea there may be doubt when there is none and the fear it may destroy something when there is most likely no chance.
Most likely. But possibly.
And it's that possibility that makes me hesitate, reconsider and step back when I should not. When I should step forward, grab him, force him to stay still and damn well listen, shout at him, anything to make him realise that he can not remain stationary. That he needs to know it's not a game and I don't want to see this place break him.
...because I wouldn't forgive myself if I stood by and watch him become broken. Like it would hurt to see anything but a smile on his face, and it would kill to be the one to remove that.
Let the City break him or do it myself. Which one? Ha! Isn't it obvious, Kyouya? You would rather do it and have him hate you for forcing him to see it than do nothing. You would rather risk losing him by my your own hand and tongue than slowly have him lost to the City.
Selfish idiot... And it has me questioning whether or not you're the one who is right in all this.
Ugh. I'm going around in circles and it's giving me a damn headache.
---
There seems to be a lot of bustle around the City today. Another curse, it seems. A curse that--
...ah.
I believe, for the sake of my own safety, as it were that I will make myself scarce today.
[ooc; W-well... To Kyouya's triple checking of his codes his tl;dr is safe but... curse hates his face? :D Strikes are all viewable. It was about time I subjected him to one of these dealies... brb, hiding FOREVER orz ]
[ Post Below ICly is deleted, gone and otherwise not here; ]
It is a waste of breath to say the curses of late have been less than savoury and all together a general frustration. I was shamefully unaware we were in the presence of so many with blood on their hands, but a curse that made that metaphorical idea a reality was... Hm. How to describe it.
Troublesome, from every angle. For those it involved, for those who had to witness it and for the hospital staff who had to deal with the frustration of people coming in and contaminating sterilised areas with blood that was not from physical wounds. This wasted staff time and considerably increased the cost spent on cleaning everything up again. On top of that it didn't help that time was spent checking each "patient" in case they did have a real injury and as a result those who were real patients had to wait even longer than necessary due to the curse-related hysteria.
An annoyance and it set back administration work further as a result. I'm behind on everything and this is not acceptable.
Additionally, I am under the impression there is a general sense of discomfort among the host club members after the recent Opera House murder. It's hardly surprising. Perhaps it is the medical professionalism that has been hammered into me since I was a child removing me from feeling a real sense of distress regarding this matter, however it is not difficult to tell when Tamaki is spooked and takes direct action to draw the members away.
Where we are doesn't matter, ultimately. We are devoid the luxuries of home and yet surprisingly all seem to have adjusted rather well. It doesn't seem such a feat for Haruhi, which is meant as no insult - she is very capable and at times like this it is a reassurance. Hikaru and Kaoru appear to have their occasional lapse in tolerance, but on the whole it is no concern, Hunny-senpai is content as long as there is cake even if that is what has the one of the largest impacts on the budget it can not be helped. With Mori-senpai no longer in the City the sacrifice is tolerable and easy to accommodate at present. If the intake increases, however, there may be concerns.
Truly, the one who trouble me the most, as ever, is Tamaki. Some days I want to smack that damn smile off his face, but it's a different kind of desire to do so as when we were younger, before that time. No, now it is different. We are older and while he may have the most effective way of dealing the harsh realities of this City it is... infuriating to see him turn such blind eyes to it all. The expression is "smack some sense into someone", I believe.
And yet to do so may break something I didn't mean to, may change him, may make him jaded like everyone else. I do not want that.
And, damn it all, at the same time I don't want to handle him with kid gloves like he's some kind of delicate piece of glass because he isn't. It pisses me off. More than I can put into words and more than I dare to acknowledge fully, this idea there may be doubt when there is none and the fear it may destroy something when there is most likely no chance.
Most likely. But possibly.
And it's that possibility that makes me hesitate, reconsider and step back when I should not. When I should step forward, grab him, force him to stay still and damn well listen, shout at him, anything to make him realise that he can not remain stationary. That he needs to know it's not a game and I don't want to see this place break him.
...because I wouldn't forgive myself if I stood by and watch him become broken. Like it would hurt to see anything but a smile on his face, and it would kill to be the one to remove that.
Let the City break him or do it myself. Which one? Ha! Isn't it obvious, Kyouya? You would rather do it and have him hate you for forcing him to see it than do nothing. You would rather risk losing him by my your own hand and tongue than slowly have him lost to the City.
Selfish idiot... And it has me questioning whether or not you're the one who is right in all this.
Ugh. I'm going around in circles and it's giving me a damn headache.
---
There seems to be a lot of bustle around the City today. Another curse, it seems. A curse that--
...ah.
I believe, for the sake of my own safety, as it were that I will make myself scarce today.
[ooc; W-well... To Kyouya's triple checking of his codes his tl;dr is safe but... curse hates his face? :D Strikes are all viewable. It was about time I subjected him to one of these dealies... brb, hiding FOREVER orz ]