Bathing Miss Daisy
For those of you not in the know I have a much lauded trip to Puerto Rico coming up. Although we are flying what is considered the worst airline in business in the US, my first thought was : Holy Pygmy Marmosets! I need a new bathing suit!
Like many women this is not a very fun thing to do. According to T's observations I go through the following:
"Yea! Let's go Shopping!"
"Oh...Nothing fits."
"This doesn't either."
Four hours, nine stores and a Jamba juice later I'm in tears or on the verge of tears.
Shopping for a bathing suit hasn't been easy since I was 10.
At 16 I was barely able to squeeze my boobs into an American Outfitters tankini.
At 18 my suit was bought for me from an uber expensive surf shop by my boyfriend's Dad.(That sounds creepy in retrospect) Why did he buy it from that shop? Well, they were the ones who sold suits with tops(and bottoms!) that could actually fit me.
At 20 I cried viciously on a trip to Santa Barbara because there was literally nothing I could fit. All the bikinis had DD tops but their matching bottoms were sized 00-8. I did not go swimming. In fact I didn't even go to the beach.
At 21 I ended up finding something on the sale rack at Mervyns. It was exactly what I wanted: a vintage throwback forties style one piece.
With all the drama, you can imagine why I dread the idea of shopping for a new suit.
There are millions of guides out there for buying a swim suit. Tons of waiting for a woman to cruise by with her shopping cart and say, "Hey! I *do* have flabby thighs! I should wear x swimsuit." I mean, that's great that there are all those guides willing to help every shape of woman out there.
This does not mean that the uber cute solve all your problems swim suit is going to be at Target. Or Walmart. Or the place wear you buy your bras
Or even your local swim store.
No, the only swimsuits they're bound to carry is the swim separates that look good on very very very small people, and the mumu suits they assume fit on very very very large people. You know those suits. They have hibiscus flowers in bright neon print with a black background.
It is enough to make you want to tear your hair out. Or rather go to the headquarters of large corporations and tear the hair our of their designers head as they drink their Vente Soy latte.
*cough*
Because of the difficulty of finding a suit. I have decided to shop for you andme. That's right ladies. I'm going to be coming up with a list of all body friendly companies that you can either buy on-line or feasibly buy in a store. You will be able to find those links here. If you have places to add, leave a comment and I'll add it to the List.
Suits of delicious doom:
1. Maxine of Hollywood has been making suits for like forty years. If you can find a vintage suit or better yet, do a quick Google search for new suits you'll get one of the most flattering fits around. Their patterns aren't eye searing awful either. Good for big busts, tummies, and bottoms. In short, my Holy Grail of swimsuits.
2. ItFigures. This company has some meh prints, but they do have suits that fit every woman and they're not that bad.*
3. zarhooie recommends Land's End. It apparently holds in the "girls" and they have some rocking styles and prints.
4. Bravissimo Has long held a high quality service and fantastic bras for women of all sizes. Not very cheap as they're in the UK, but their swimsuits look divine.
5. From chocolatemamba Comes the suggestion of Torrid They look like they have some pretty sweets prints and styles. Primarily Plus Sized. The spandex to nylon ratio is iffy, but these would be great show suits or tanning suits.
6. From salymander comes two great sites! Figleaves has great looking suits and also lots of beautiful bras for women of all sizes. The second is custom swim wear by none other than Esther Williams. The look of these are fantastic and you can pick your size and fit and print for the normal price of a suit. Nice find!
7. From petite_ingenue is Newport News Can we say mix and match bikini separates at 15 bucks a pop? Don't let the scary hibiscus fool you, they also come in mod blacks.
8. From tephy37 comes the very delicious Always for Me Fantastic range of suits here for the curvy gal!
* It really pisses me off that I have to recommend a suit that I describe as "not that bad."
Like many women this is not a very fun thing to do. According to T's observations I go through the following:
"Yea! Let's go Shopping!"
"Oh...Nothing fits."
"This doesn't either."
Four hours, nine stores and a Jamba juice later I'm in tears or on the verge of tears.
Shopping for a bathing suit hasn't been easy since I was 10.
At 16 I was barely able to squeeze my boobs into an American Outfitters tankini.
At 18 my suit was bought for me from an uber expensive surf shop by my boyfriend's Dad.(That sounds creepy in retrospect) Why did he buy it from that shop? Well, they were the ones who sold suits with tops(and bottoms!) that could actually fit me.
At 20 I cried viciously on a trip to Santa Barbara because there was literally nothing I could fit. All the bikinis had DD tops but their matching bottoms were sized 00-8. I did not go swimming. In fact I didn't even go to the beach.
At 21 I ended up finding something on the sale rack at Mervyns. It was exactly what I wanted: a vintage throwback forties style one piece.
With all the drama, you can imagine why I dread the idea of shopping for a new suit.
There are millions of guides out there for buying a swim suit. Tons of waiting for a woman to cruise by with her shopping cart and say, "Hey! I *do* have flabby thighs! I should wear x swimsuit." I mean, that's great that there are all those guides willing to help every shape of woman out there.
This does not mean that the uber cute solve all your problems swim suit is going to be at Target. Or Walmart. Or the place wear you buy your bras
Or even your local swim store.
No, the only swimsuits they're bound to carry is the swim separates that look good on very very very small people, and the mumu suits they assume fit on very very very large people. You know those suits. They have hibiscus flowers in bright neon print with a black background.
It is enough to make you want to tear your hair out. Or rather go to the headquarters of large corporations and tear the hair our of their designers head as they drink their Vente Soy latte.
*cough*
Because of the difficulty of finding a suit. I have decided to shop for you andme. That's right ladies. I'm going to be coming up with a list of all body friendly companies that you can either buy on-line or feasibly buy in a store. You will be able to find those links here. If you have places to add, leave a comment and I'll add it to the List.
Suits of delicious doom:
1. Maxine of Hollywood has been making suits for like forty years. If you can find a vintage suit or better yet, do a quick Google search for new suits you'll get one of the most flattering fits around. Their patterns aren't eye searing awful either. Good for big busts, tummies, and bottoms. In short, my Holy Grail of swimsuits.
2. ItFigures. This company has some meh prints, but they do have suits that fit every woman and they're not that bad.*
3. zarhooie recommends Land's End. It apparently holds in the "girls" and they have some rocking styles and prints.
4. Bravissimo Has long held a high quality service and fantastic bras for women of all sizes. Not very cheap as they're in the UK, but their swimsuits look divine.
5. From chocolatemamba Comes the suggestion of Torrid They look like they have some pretty sweets prints and styles. Primarily Plus Sized. The spandex to nylon ratio is iffy, but these would be great show suits or tanning suits.
6. From salymander comes two great sites! Figleaves has great looking suits and also lots of beautiful bras for women of all sizes. The second is custom swim wear by none other than Esther Williams. The look of these are fantastic and you can pick your size and fit and print for the normal price of a suit. Nice find!
7. From petite_ingenue is Newport News Can we say mix and match bikini separates at 15 bucks a pop? Don't let the scary hibiscus fool you, they also come in mod blacks.
8. From tephy37 comes the very delicious Always for Me Fantastic range of suits here for the curvy gal!
* It really pisses me off that I have to recommend a suit that I describe as "not that bad."