The truth always comes out.... with the help of a little red.
Last night at our friends art expo, there was a photographer there doing what photographers do during these sort of soirées. taking pictures of bordeaux's high falutin' society to eventually grace the pages of the kind of magazine that people buy just to see who has been where, with who, and 'she wore THAT there'! The kind of magazines that actually make me ill. He couldn't help but notice the 'large group of boisterous anglophones standing under a cloud of cigarette smoke and asked us if we were visiting. Most of these ladies have been here 15+ years, so it was a nice laugh. Because we were, not only fabulously dressed, but we were outgoing, funny, flirty, we were asked to have out picture taken.
This is what happens when you mix me + free flowing glasses of red wine.
He went on a spiel about how he needed english lessons.....
ME - 'HEY (cue slurred speach in french) if you're (hiccup) looking for english lessons, i'm looking for a job with a magazine'
HIM - uuuuh.
ME - I want to write for your (hiccup) magazine, and ill give you free (burp) english lessons (lying!)
HIM - are you familiar with our magazine?
ME - OOOOH (exaggerated and lying) yes, I've looked at it a few times (not seeing clearly)
HIM - well were only looking for photographers right now...can you take pictures?
ME - PERFECT! (more perky than my usual self) I WAS A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR MY UNIVERSITY MAGAZINE (HICCUP) (1/2 truth/ 1/2 lie, I wrote and took pics as an internship... but I said it with such excitement, as though it was some amazing accomplishment)
HIM - well you need to send your resume, etc, etc (insert boring formalities that my brain couldn't comprehend here)
ME - but, i don't have a decent camera!
HIM - we could work that out.
ANGLOPHONE FRIEND - your not looking for an english page?
HIM - for what public?
ME - for the frenchies who want to learn english of course!!! (as if that public is crying for more english)
HIM - well, for now, were just looking for photographers
ME - ok, i'll send you my info
------later that evening--------------and 16 glasses later we happen to bump into each other agin
HIM - are you really looking to write for a magazine?
ME - YES! it's been my dream since before I came to france, I've just never known where to get started... (giving out way to much information... i hate when i drink).
HIM - It's true that it's not an easy job, it's just taking pictures of people at functions a lot like this... (slightly dissuading me) and since it's all digital, it's easy! You just have to talk to the people, take their picture and write down their names! You will have to write a short text, how's your written french?
ME - better than my spoken (french degenerating at that point making me look bad)
ME - (acting american) DO YOU HAVE A CARD?
HIM - yeah, sure, you can email me here...etc...etc...
ME - (french degenerating) ok, ok... I'll send you an email with my CV, cover letter etc.
HIM - great! but it's only photography for now...
ME - ok, I'll convince (not able to say the word convince properly) you to have an english page.
HIM - ha ha ha (slightly faux)
So today, as I'm able to realize what happened, I am completely freaking out. Yes, it has been a dream of mine to write and/or take pics for a magazine..... BUT I am super afraid to send him my CV and cover letter!
WHY? I am afraid of reality. As much as I hate teaching, I am comfortable in it... once again that damn comfort zone is back to beat me up. I could be sitting here, modifying my cover letter to fit that position instead of venting on livejournal, but I dont even know where to start!
I'm acting like I have the damn job!
TO HELL WITH FEAR!