Freakier than the Celine Dreams people
For those of you who might remember the whole Celine Dreams folks, I've actually found people that are more deprived of a life. Apparently, Entertainment Weekly asked some of its subscribers to do without the magazine for a while. From the story:
"They dearly missed EW during their period of deprivation. Zoe, a charming lawyer-turned-aspiring-actress, confessed to the group: 'I felt lonely,' before smiling gamely and adding reassuredly, 'just to the not-pathetic-side of lonely.'
[BRANDON: No, Zoe, sorry. Feeling lonely because you don't have EW is firmly on the pathetic side of things.]
"The other panelists nodded knowingly.
"A panelist named Kevin informed the room, 'I go to A LOT of movies. EW is basically my gold standard. There was a void with no EW on the coffee table. This really confused me.'
"More nodding.
"Juan commiserated with Kevin, saying: 'It was like not having a pen-pal write to me.' He then paused and added sheepishly: 'You probably think it's kind of ... freaky.'
[BRANDON: No, no, not at all, Juan. And my pen-pal is Joe Klein, who writes his columns in TIME magazine just for me!]
"Matilda, for her part, declared that she had come up with an unexpected solution for the void. 'I actually read books!'
[BRANDON: GASP! BOOKS! It's almost as if losing EW actually, I don't know, made them do something productive!]
...
"It's not that Premiere is bad, it's just that these folks are so slavishly devoted to EW. 'It's FUN!' Jessica said. 'It's a fun magazine to read. It's just fun.'
[BRANDON: And here we see the average intelligence of these folks. Am I the only one that sees Jessica as a blond with a "Delta-Delta-Delta" shirt on?]
The key word, apparently, is fun. But EW is also highly relevant.
"Nowhere else could I find my very thoughts on the page," Zoe murmured.
[BRANDON: A bit of advice for you, Zoe: Think deeper thoughts.]
"They dearly missed EW during their period of deprivation. Zoe, a charming lawyer-turned-aspiring-actress, confessed to the group: 'I felt lonely,' before smiling gamely and adding reassuredly, 'just to the not-pathetic-side of lonely.'
[BRANDON: No, Zoe, sorry. Feeling lonely because you don't have EW is firmly on the pathetic side of things.]
"The other panelists nodded knowingly.
"A panelist named Kevin informed the room, 'I go to A LOT of movies. EW is basically my gold standard. There was a void with no EW on the coffee table. This really confused me.'
"More nodding.
"Juan commiserated with Kevin, saying: 'It was like not having a pen-pal write to me.' He then paused and added sheepishly: 'You probably think it's kind of ... freaky.'
[BRANDON: No, no, not at all, Juan. And my pen-pal is Joe Klein, who writes his columns in TIME magazine just for me!]
"Matilda, for her part, declared that she had come up with an unexpected solution for the void. 'I actually read books!'
[BRANDON: GASP! BOOKS! It's almost as if losing EW actually, I don't know, made them do something productive!]
...
"It's not that Premiere is bad, it's just that these folks are so slavishly devoted to EW. 'It's FUN!' Jessica said. 'It's a fun magazine to read. It's just fun.'
[BRANDON: And here we see the average intelligence of these folks. Am I the only one that sees Jessica as a blond with a "Delta-Delta-Delta" shirt on?]
The key word, apparently, is fun. But EW is also highly relevant.
"Nowhere else could I find my very thoughts on the page," Zoe murmured.
[BRANDON: A bit of advice for you, Zoe: Think deeper thoughts.]