psychopsychopsycho.txt yeah, drew, now i've got my own. heh.
oh, how lovely this all is. i'm really tired of trusting people. really. fucking. tired.
i talked to maki yesterday. suggested we hang out. it was a real friendly conversation. didn't expect it to anything less. then. not more than 5 minutes later. i get a text from her saying she's closing the apartment out tomorrow, so i might want to find another living arrangment. the funny thing is how this all started. maki told daryl she was refusing to pay rent. i got a phone call from daryl that sounded scary. very scary. it turned out pretty well, though. he told me i could either pay for the whole apt myself, i could leave, or he could move in and i could continue the rent that i could afford. of course, i'm going to choose him moving in with me. i don't mind him at all and you're not supposed to move in with close friends anyway. when i had let maki know that this is what was happening if she was not paying rent, she didn't really seem to have a problem with it. she did say "you don't want to live with him, do you?" i explained the situation, she didn't seem to have any problems. so right before i left for the camping trip, she was supposed to come get my cat. she did so long after i fell asleep but woke me up to show me her and kent's new piercings. i think i was kind of short with her, i don't really remember since i was in a state between waking and sleeping. she said something about she was closing the apt, and i could come stay with her. i said something to the effect of "no, i'm staying here." anyway. a series of obnoxious text messages followed the one i got yesterday, her trying to fight with me for a good deal of time. i kept telling her to really think about this decision and according to how many people it effects negatively, if it is really worth it. her reasoning was daryl won't stay out. well. if they were to both stay out, they wouldn't have a problem with it. at this point, daryl doesn't think she's going to pay rent, so as far he knows, it's not her apt. maki says she's still paying though she told daryl she wouldn't, so as far as she knows, it's not his apt. it's just a big mess. and someone needs to come to a decision. well, i suppose she did. it ended with her calling me a dumbass. and telling me that if i wasn't out of the apt by midnight, she'd call the cops for trespassing. it all ended with "fuck off, stefanie, and go home." i'm a bit lost. i also got two messages from her this morning, which i think were from last night. they were very... nice. i left the few things i had there at the apt. but the message this morning said that if my stuff was there even, she'd say i was trespassing. what is she going to say? my stuff is trespassing? i'm a bit lost. i called the office this morning to see if she could break the lease still. they said you have to give a 60 day notice and that the cost of it is only 800, not 3000 or whatever amount i was told before. but. there's not even 60 days left on the lease. i'm still trying to stick with her through all of this. apparently she's trying to create "sides" which pisses me off to no end. i try to tell everyone not to pick sides, that there are no sides. that this is between me, maki, and daryl, and doesn't involve them, it's not their drama, they shouldn't have to deal with it, etc. the only responses i've really gotten are "it's not a matter of sides, it's a matter of right and wrong." that's not very encouraging on minimizing the appearance of sides. i sort of understand where she's coming from, though. though i did try and make time to talk about this, she picked the weekend that i was absolutely slammed with things to do. and she knew about them all. i still tried to make time, and thought i could, but it all fell through. so we didn't really get a chance to talk about it. although i had a few people point out that before she even knew for sure i was not going to be able to see her that night, she went to go hang out with the crossroads kids, knowing she'd be there for a good long while. in other words, she ditched me before i got the chance to tell her i couldn't make it. hm. also, i've heard from a few people that she feels like i went behind her back with the daryl thing. it may have appeared so to her, since i got the phone call from daryl and then made my decision and then let her know. she never told me she was going to stop paying rent. i don't know. i'm a bit confused by all of this. but i'm trying to keep an open mind. and i'm trying to not to get angry or place blame or anything. i'm trying. i'm really trying hard.
so. last night i had to stay at joe's since i really had no other place to go except for linda's, and she wasn't feeling well. the plan was i would fall asleep with him, set my alarm for 3 am ish and then move down to the couch. the alarm never went off, but joe woke me up so i could go downstairs. i tried to hide my whole body and face with the blanket so maybe his mom wouldn't notice me, but i moved around too much. she went and woke joe up about 7 30 am with "joe! take your contact out! and why is stefanie asleep on the couch?!?" i just thought it was funny that she was more upset about the contact than a girl on the couch.
love!
i talked to maki yesterday. suggested we hang out. it was a real friendly conversation. didn't expect it to anything less. then. not more than 5 minutes later. i get a text from her saying she's closing the apartment out tomorrow, so i might want to find another living arrangment. the funny thing is how this all started. maki told daryl she was refusing to pay rent. i got a phone call from daryl that sounded scary. very scary. it turned out pretty well, though. he told me i could either pay for the whole apt myself, i could leave, or he could move in and i could continue the rent that i could afford. of course, i'm going to choose him moving in with me. i don't mind him at all and you're not supposed to move in with close friends anyway. when i had let maki know that this is what was happening if she was not paying rent, she didn't really seem to have a problem with it. she did say "you don't want to live with him, do you?" i explained the situation, she didn't seem to have any problems. so right before i left for the camping trip, she was supposed to come get my cat. she did so long after i fell asleep but woke me up to show me her and kent's new piercings. i think i was kind of short with her, i don't really remember since i was in a state between waking and sleeping. she said something about she was closing the apt, and i could come stay with her. i said something to the effect of "no, i'm staying here." anyway. a series of obnoxious text messages followed the one i got yesterday, her trying to fight with me for a good deal of time. i kept telling her to really think about this decision and according to how many people it effects negatively, if it is really worth it. her reasoning was daryl won't stay out. well. if they were to both stay out, they wouldn't have a problem with it. at this point, daryl doesn't think she's going to pay rent, so as far he knows, it's not her apt. maki says she's still paying though she told daryl she wouldn't, so as far as she knows, it's not his apt. it's just a big mess. and someone needs to come to a decision. well, i suppose she did. it ended with her calling me a dumbass. and telling me that if i wasn't out of the apt by midnight, she'd call the cops for trespassing. it all ended with "fuck off, stefanie, and go home." i'm a bit lost. i also got two messages from her this morning, which i think were from last night. they were very... nice. i left the few things i had there at the apt. but the message this morning said that if my stuff was there even, she'd say i was trespassing. what is she going to say? my stuff is trespassing? i'm a bit lost. i called the office this morning to see if she could break the lease still. they said you have to give a 60 day notice and that the cost of it is only 800, not 3000 or whatever amount i was told before. but. there's not even 60 days left on the lease. i'm still trying to stick with her through all of this. apparently she's trying to create "sides" which pisses me off to no end. i try to tell everyone not to pick sides, that there are no sides. that this is between me, maki, and daryl, and doesn't involve them, it's not their drama, they shouldn't have to deal with it, etc. the only responses i've really gotten are "it's not a matter of sides, it's a matter of right and wrong." that's not very encouraging on minimizing the appearance of sides. i sort of understand where she's coming from, though. though i did try and make time to talk about this, she picked the weekend that i was absolutely slammed with things to do. and she knew about them all. i still tried to make time, and thought i could, but it all fell through. so we didn't really get a chance to talk about it. although i had a few people point out that before she even knew for sure i was not going to be able to see her that night, she went to go hang out with the crossroads kids, knowing she'd be there for a good long while. in other words, she ditched me before i got the chance to tell her i couldn't make it. hm. also, i've heard from a few people that she feels like i went behind her back with the daryl thing. it may have appeared so to her, since i got the phone call from daryl and then made my decision and then let her know. she never told me she was going to stop paying rent. i don't know. i'm a bit confused by all of this. but i'm trying to keep an open mind. and i'm trying to not to get angry or place blame or anything. i'm trying. i'm really trying hard.
so. last night i had to stay at joe's since i really had no other place to go except for linda's, and she wasn't feeling well. the plan was i would fall asleep with him, set my alarm for 3 am ish and then move down to the couch. the alarm never went off, but joe woke me up so i could go downstairs. i tried to hide my whole body and face with the blanket so maybe his mom wouldn't notice me, but i moved around too much. she went and woke joe up about 7 30 am with "joe! take your contact out! and why is stefanie asleep on the couch?!?" i just thought it was funny that she was more upset about the contact than a girl on the couch.
love!