(no subject)
Haha, its like my livejournal is my romance journal but its not like I have anything else to really vent about.
So I've been seeing Brandon a lot and its just I don't know. He told me that hes pretty much going to make me his girlfriend on my birthday (since he just turned 21 and i'm STILL 17) but I don't know if I want to be just that. I thought I did, but its like I loose my identity with him. If I like someone, I will stay committed and do what I have to do in order for it to work, but he gives me nothing to go off of. I was just taking all of his shit without having any recollection of a time when he was a sweet gentlemen to me. So now after what? 2 months of this, the fire is dying out. He just takes takes takes and never EVER gives. I don't think he understands that I AM intelligent and I am capable of holding conversations. I just feel that if it were to get serious, nobody would like me anymore (as in friends). It's almost like a slave to his life and needs. Its never about what I want or how was my day. But maybe thats what bipolar people are just like? Last night was interesting he was the bad side of bipolarness, it was a anger one. He was just angry for no apparent reason. I don't know. AHHH. On the flip side, I must be hot because I've kissed like 3 different people in this past week. All I will say is two of them were girls and one was Brandon. Haha, fuck. Brandon is the last thread of a male that I'd date because after that falls through, i'm all about chicks because quite frankly...i'm tired of giving blowjobs.
So I've been seeing Brandon a lot and its just I don't know. He told me that hes pretty much going to make me his girlfriend on my birthday (since he just turned 21 and i'm STILL 17) but I don't know if I want to be just that. I thought I did, but its like I loose my identity with him. If I like someone, I will stay committed and do what I have to do in order for it to work, but he gives me nothing to go off of. I was just taking all of his shit without having any recollection of a time when he was a sweet gentlemen to me. So now after what? 2 months of this, the fire is dying out. He just takes takes takes and never EVER gives. I don't think he understands that I AM intelligent and I am capable of holding conversations. I just feel that if it were to get serious, nobody would like me anymore (as in friends). It's almost like a slave to his life and needs. Its never about what I want or how was my day. But maybe thats what bipolar people are just like? Last night was interesting he was the bad side of bipolarness, it was a anger one. He was just angry for no apparent reason. I don't know. AHHH. On the flip side, I must be hot because I've kissed like 3 different people in this past week. All I will say is two of them were girls and one was Brandon. Haha, fuck. Brandon is the last thread of a male that I'd date because after that falls through, i'm all about chicks because quite frankly...i'm tired of giving blowjobs.