seriously
I need to start doing something different. i am really unhappy with a lot of things. i feel like i'm wasting my life. it seems like i dont have enough time to do the things that i like but i do have the time i just waste it. i need to set some goals for myself: 1) i need to hang out with girls more, megan, amanda, pricsilla, luna ect... i always have a good time and usually feel better about myself afterward. 2)i need to start doing some kind of physical activty, aside from the fact that the way i look right now makes me so self concious that i avoid hanging out with people and have an ongoing voice telling me how fat and disgusting i am, its just not health, heart disease and diabetes runs in my family. i really want to be happy with the way i look. i know it's vain and stupid and people have real problems. but it bothers me. so there. 3)i think i need some hobby's. the knitting is going slow but i like it, i'd really like to go back to school but i dont think that's in the stars, it hasn't worked out so well lately. maybe an acting class, i think taking a class at the upright citizens brigade would be cool. 4) i think most of all i need to stop feeling so fucking bad for myself, and realize that it's o.k. to be happy, nothing bad is going to happen to crush me again, i'm not being fooled and everything will be o.k.