One Thousand Dishes
The world is on fire and I all I can do is let myself be suffocated by the smoke.
You want me to log onto this thing and write all the "good" things about myself, it seems ridiculous, but here I am, I mean really, what the hell else to I have to do right now? It's either this or go back to sleep and pretend that none of us exist.
My name is Alison, I work a job that hate and it seems to take up all my time and drain me of the desire to do anything else with my life.
I used to be a good writer, I used to be an average painter, above average if your taste runs toward wallpaper designs.
People scare me. Interactions with other people scare me, I am one of the most selfish people that I know and I guess that's a bad thing.
I want to be a good person, but I don't think that I have that in me. I do care but not enough to put someone else's well being before my own and not become bitter over it.
So, good things.....
Well, I can be funny sometimes, my comedic timing lately has been above average.
I don't kill babies and then eat them for lunch. That's a good thing, right?
I am relatively intelligent.
I like to cuddle and am very good at it.
I make french toast really well.
I do like to make people feel better about themselves. It just seems that I don't have much of a chance to do that since people frighten me and I tend to keep my distance.
I wish I could be a better friend, but once again, if I choose to not be close to anyone it's sort of difficult to have the opportunity to make anyone feel better about anything.
You also wanted me to write down the things that I like about "us". Us being our messed up little relationship.
I like our banter. I think that if we were millionaires we could have a pretty good reality tv show.
I like that you know how much I like cheese and don't judge me for it. (and yes, I am talking about the dairy product, cheese, that's not some cool euphemism I made up, I just really like cheese)
I like holding you.
I like that you can forgive me for hurting you, even though I did it over and over again.
I don't know why you are trying so hard to make things work with me.
I'm all out of good things now. I'm sure there are some more in my head somewhere.
I'm glad that I don't hate myself anymore, I'll admit I'm not my favorite person, but for a long time I thought I was completely worthless and devoid of any sort of value. For some reason I don't feel that way anymore, I don't know what made that change but I am glad for it.
You want me to log onto this thing and write all the "good" things about myself, it seems ridiculous, but here I am, I mean really, what the hell else to I have to do right now? It's either this or go back to sleep and pretend that none of us exist.
My name is Alison, I work a job that hate and it seems to take up all my time and drain me of the desire to do anything else with my life.
I used to be a good writer, I used to be an average painter, above average if your taste runs toward wallpaper designs.
People scare me. Interactions with other people scare me, I am one of the most selfish people that I know and I guess that's a bad thing.
I want to be a good person, but I don't think that I have that in me. I do care but not enough to put someone else's well being before my own and not become bitter over it.
So, good things.....
Well, I can be funny sometimes, my comedic timing lately has been above average.
I don't kill babies and then eat them for lunch. That's a good thing, right?
I am relatively intelligent.
I like to cuddle and am very good at it.
I make french toast really well.
I do like to make people feel better about themselves. It just seems that I don't have much of a chance to do that since people frighten me and I tend to keep my distance.
I wish I could be a better friend, but once again, if I choose to not be close to anyone it's sort of difficult to have the opportunity to make anyone feel better about anything.
You also wanted me to write down the things that I like about "us". Us being our messed up little relationship.
I like our banter. I think that if we were millionaires we could have a pretty good reality tv show.
I like that you know how much I like cheese and don't judge me for it. (and yes, I am talking about the dairy product, cheese, that's not some cool euphemism I made up, I just really like cheese)
I like holding you.
I like that you can forgive me for hurting you, even though I did it over and over again.
I don't know why you are trying so hard to make things work with me.
I'm all out of good things now. I'm sure there are some more in my head somewhere.
I'm glad that I don't hate myself anymore, I'll admit I'm not my favorite person, but for a long time I thought I was completely worthless and devoid of any sort of value. For some reason I don't feel that way anymore, I don't know what made that change but I am glad for it.