(no subject)
Is it right that I don't like some drugs but tolerate others? Is that hypocritical of me?
See, saturday night we were at Maria's 18th and Chris was there. Being one of my best friends, i'm naturally concerned by his drunken behaviour, although it has been the norm for the past 2 years. So an hour into the evening I see him with his eyes closed in the corner of this seating bit, so i go upto him and try and sober him up (hah) by which he does about 10 minutes later and tells me his hearts beating really fast and thinks hes going to have a heart attack. THE WANKER DID LINES OF COKE. My initial reaction was to cry, and I did but not in front of him, or anyone. Thats besides the point.
I was so angry at him, but that came later, i was firstly worried. So I found Kez in a panic and he started shaking Chris and he randomly started doing press-ups in the middle of the dancefloor. By this point I just got pissed off and sat on the stairs and just thought about why the hell he does it. more importantly why does Craig do it? Thats what got me more upset, knowing that Chris could've turned out much worse than he did, and it could've been Craig. I know coke has been hyped up by the media and middle class professionals (which has now turned into middle class private school boys hmm) but you say you can get run over by a bus tomorrow but why increase your chances?
I don't know why this annoyed me so much, its a drug they do occasionally, potentially as harmless as crossing the road when treated correctly. But Chris and Craig being the 2 most important male people outside my family to me who i love (in very different ways) with all my heart and they do this. I dont think they know its killing me slowly, damn me for caring too much? hah. apparently so.
On the way home i find out Chris has rugby trials (for i THINK England) in 3 weeks and its in your system for 6. If he gets tested..
I had a drunken thought to put ME first, to tell Craig stop doing it for me or I can't be with him anymore. Not just him but Chris, Kez and all the others that do it. How and why should I just put up with it?
See, saturday night we were at Maria's 18th and Chris was there. Being one of my best friends, i'm naturally concerned by his drunken behaviour, although it has been the norm for the past 2 years. So an hour into the evening I see him with his eyes closed in the corner of this seating bit, so i go upto him and try and sober him up (hah) by which he does about 10 minutes later and tells me his hearts beating really fast and thinks hes going to have a heart attack. THE WANKER DID LINES OF COKE. My initial reaction was to cry, and I did but not in front of him, or anyone. Thats besides the point.
I was so angry at him, but that came later, i was firstly worried. So I found Kez in a panic and he started shaking Chris and he randomly started doing press-ups in the middle of the dancefloor. By this point I just got pissed off and sat on the stairs and just thought about why the hell he does it. more importantly why does Craig do it? Thats what got me more upset, knowing that Chris could've turned out much worse than he did, and it could've been Craig. I know coke has been hyped up by the media and middle class professionals (which has now turned into middle class private school boys hmm) but you say you can get run over by a bus tomorrow but why increase your chances?
I don't know why this annoyed me so much, its a drug they do occasionally, potentially as harmless as crossing the road when treated correctly. But Chris and Craig being the 2 most important male people outside my family to me who i love (in very different ways) with all my heart and they do this. I dont think they know its killing me slowly, damn me for caring too much? hah. apparently so.
On the way home i find out Chris has rugby trials (for i THINK England) in 3 weeks and its in your system for 6. If he gets tested..
I had a drunken thought to put ME first, to tell Craig stop doing it for me or I can't be with him anymore. Not just him but Chris, Kez and all the others that do it. How and why should I just put up with it?