It was dark outside when Sam registered the sound of the front door opening. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sat there in the tub. He had long drained the water to try and keep him somewhat warm and a small towel he had managed to reach now lay affording him a small fraction of cover.
“Sam?” Dean’s voice called out into the room. Sam sighed and just stared at the ceiling already resigned and knowing his fate.
“In here,” he called tiredly.
There was some shuffling and movement and then the door was pushed cautiously open until Dean’s confused face peered into the room. Sam could see him pause out of the corner of his eyes and raise an eyebrow.
“This is what you get up to when I’m gone?” his brother joked. But Sam just blinked at the ceiling.
“Wanted a bath, couldn’t get out.”
“What do you mean you couldn’t get out?” Dean asked coming to crouch beside the empty tub, his boots squeaking against the wet linoleum.
“Exactly that,” Sam snorted with no real humour. There was nothing remotely funny about this situation not matter what Dean wanted to joke.
“This was what I was afraid of you know, when you were gone,” Sam spoke to the ceiling. “Dying on a hunt, it’s not great but it’s sort of noble, it has purpose. But I was gonna be one of those guys you read about in the local paper that slipped and fell in his bathtub and no one found the body until a week later cause there was no one around to care. But for me it wouldn’t be some neighbour knocking about the smell it would be the motel manager finding me cause he wanted his money.” Sam snorted and shook his head.
Dean was an uncharacteristically silent presence at his side. Not moving, not speaking, hardly breathing. Sam still couldn’t look to face him, couldn’t bear to see pity or condemnation on his brothers face.
“I’m an old man in this world now Dean,” Sam sighed to the ceiling. “Sure, I’m smart, strong, tough, fast when my body cooperates, but you know you can out run me now and it’s not just because I’ve been out of the game. I just… I can’t live this life much longer man. I don’t want to die because my body failed me. I deserve to live out the rest of my life with at least an ounce of dignity.”
Sam did turn his gaze now, treacherous tears blurring behind his eyes. But he would not let them fall, he wouldn’t let that weakness show as well. Dean was watching him back, his eyes focused on Sam directly and fiercely but Sam could no longer read his brothers facial features, couldn’t guess what was behind the man’s mask anymore.
Shaking his head Sam snorted, bracing his hands either side of the tub. “Come on,” he mumbled, concentrating on getting his stiff knees to bend up. “Help me outta this thing.”
Dean was there instantaneously, gripping Sam’s biceps and taking the majority of Sam’s weight as they lifted him to standing. An involuntary growl of pain left Sam’s mouth when his back twisted from its slouched position.
Sam ignored it when the towel slid off his body, leaving him bare and expose, it didn’t matter, wasn’t like Dean hadn’t seen it all before anyway. Sam rested his hands on Dean’s shoulders leaning the majority of his weight on the man as he lifted his legs, one after the other out of the tub.
By the time he was dry side and upright Sam was panting, his forehead resting heavily on Dean’s shoulder. His whole body was tense and heavy from head to foot and he didn’t think he could move a muscle. As usual Dean pushed for more and started leading Sam wordlessly across the bathroom and to the bed.
It was dark outside when Sam registered the sound of the front door opening. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sat there in the tub. He had long drained the water to try and keep him somewhat warm and a small towel he had managed to reach now lay affording him a small fraction of cover.
“Sam?” Dean’s voice called out into the room. Sam sighed and just stared at the ceiling already resigned and knowing his fate.
“In here,” he called tiredly.
There was some shuffling and movement and then the door was pushed cautiously open until Dean’s confused face peered into the room. Sam could see him pause out of the corner of his eyes and raise an eyebrow.
“This is what you get up to when I’m gone?” his brother joked. But Sam just blinked at the ceiling.
“Wanted a bath, couldn’t get out.”
“What do you mean you couldn’t get out?” Dean asked coming to crouch beside the empty tub, his boots squeaking against the wet linoleum.
“Exactly that,” Sam snorted with no real humour. There was nothing remotely funny about this situation not matter what Dean wanted to joke.
“This was what I was afraid of you know, when you were gone,” Sam spoke to the ceiling. “Dying on a hunt, it’s not great but it’s sort of noble, it has purpose. But I was gonna be one of those guys you read about in the local paper that slipped and fell in his bathtub and no one found the body until a week later cause there was no one around to care. But for me it wouldn’t be some neighbour knocking about the smell it would be the motel manager finding me cause he wanted his money.” Sam snorted and shook his head.
Dean was an uncharacteristically silent presence at his side. Not moving, not speaking, hardly breathing. Sam still couldn’t look to face him, couldn’t bear to see pity or condemnation on his brothers face.
“I’m an old man in this world now Dean,” Sam sighed to the ceiling. “Sure, I’m smart, strong, tough, fast when my body cooperates, but you know you can out run me now and it’s not just because I’ve been out of the game. I just… I can’t live this life much longer man. I don’t want to die because my body failed me. I deserve to live out the rest of my life with at least an ounce of dignity.”
Sam did turn his gaze now, treacherous tears blurring behind his eyes. But he would not let them fall, he wouldn’t let that weakness show as well. Dean was watching him back, his eyes focused on Sam directly and fiercely but Sam could no longer read his brothers facial features, couldn’t guess what was behind the man’s mask anymore.
Shaking his head Sam snorted, bracing his hands either side of the tub. “Come on,” he mumbled, concentrating on getting his stiff knees to bend up. “Help me outta this thing.”
Dean was there instantaneously, gripping Sam’s biceps and taking the majority of Sam’s weight as they lifted him to standing. An involuntary growl of pain left Sam’s mouth when his back twisted from its slouched position.
Sam ignored it when the towel slid off his body, leaving him bare and expose, it didn’t matter, wasn’t like Dean hadn’t seen it all before anyway. Sam rested his hands on Dean’s shoulders leaning the majority of his weight on the man as he lifted his legs, one after the other out of the tub.
By the time he was dry side and upright Sam was panting, his forehead resting heavily on Dean’s shoulder. His whole body was tense and heavy from head to foot and he didn’t think he could move a muscle. As usual Dean pushed for more and started leading Sam wordlessly across the bathroom and to the bed.
Reply
Leave a comment