comment fic meme!
Following the results of the poll we took last month (don't make it easy on us or anything, guys, haha!), we've decided to hold a comment fic meme once every three months. This gives everyone time to write and prompt to their heart's content, and allows us mods to keep up with y'all. And we're starting right now!
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“Sam,” Dean said, still frozen in the doorway. His brother didn’t stir. “Sam,” he repeatedly more loudly.
Sam’s face scrunched up a moment like he was struggling to regain consciousness, but then his eyes flew open. He jerked upright, the handcuff clanking in protest, and his eyes raked wildly over the room before finding Dean. But instead of the haunted guilt and self-hatred Dean had seen in those hazel eyes over the last few weeks, there was nothing but pure terror. This was the look that had been on Sam’s face when the door to Lucifer’s cage had opened.
Something twisted inside Dean at the thought that his little brother was as afraid of him as the Devil.
“Dean,” Sam rasped and Dean winced. Sam sounded like he’d been yelling. Combined with the cuff and the look of the room, Dean wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “I’m sorry, I-”
Dean stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. Sam gulped as the door shut and he shrank back into himself, doing his best turtle impression. Dean frowned as he registered what Sam had been saying.
“Sorry for what?” Sam swallowed and Dean stepped further into the room. “Sam, what is it?”
“I’m sorry, I tried to stay awake,” Sam blurted out, sounding more like six year old Sammy than twenty-six year old Sam. “I know you always want to be ready to make a quick getaway after a job, but…”
“But what?” Dean asked, having no idea what else to say.
“I passed out,” Sam muttered, his eyes sinking to the floor like he was ashamed.
Dean’s eyebrows shot up. Sam had been hurt badly enough to pass out? And he’d left him? “What?”
“M’sorry,” Sam practically whimpered. It was a sound Dean had never heard his brother make and would be happy to never hear it again. “Please, don’t hurt me again, Dean. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Just please…”
“Wait, I did this?” Dean demanded, waving his arms to indicate the room.
When Sam didn’t say anything, Dean moved in between the beds. Sam sucked in a shaky breath and looked like he wanted to bolt, only the handcuffs kept him in place. That was when Dean got a good look at his brother. Livid bruises were forming across Sam’s jaw and eye. Blood had caked against his temple and there was also blood matted in his hair. Finger-shaped bruises circled his neck, disappearing under his shirt. Sam held his free hand around his middle like he’d cracked some ribs. His shirt and jeans were ripped and smeared with blood and his left wrist was raw from chafing against the cuff.
He looked like he’d gone several rounds with a poltergeist and lost.
“Sam, did I do this?” Dean repeated quietly.
Sam refused to meet his eyes. “It was my fault. I can’t do anything right, I know. The cop tailed me from the diner and I was too careless to notice. If I’d seen him, you wouldn’t have had to kill him and bring attention to yourself.”
Dean’s jaw dropped. Kill him? he mouthed in horror at the words coming out of Sam’s mouth so casually. But his little brother wasn’t looking at him and kept talking.
“I’m worthless,” he whispered. “The cop followed me and then I didn’t even get your dinner right. God, I’m such an idiot, I’m sorry. Please, Dean, I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me again. I can make it up to you.”
“Make it up to me?” Dean echoed, feeling like a complete idiot. His brain was still trying to process what was going on.
Sam looked up through his shaggy bangs with bright eyes. “I’ll do anything. Please, just give me another chance.”
“Sam-”
“I know, you’ve given me so many chances and I keep messing up. I don’t deserve it, but I’m trying. God, I’m trying.” Sam winced and bit his lip, as if he was suddenly afraid he’d said too much.
Dean flinched, feeling like he’d been punched. That was basically what his Sam had been trying to tell him, trying to prove to him, since they’d gotten back on the road together-just without the overt terror.
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He ran a hand through his hair. “I…need to think.”
“Of course, I’m sorry,” Sam hastily apologized. “Wh-what do you want me to do?” he asked. “When you left, I didn’t know-” He trailed off at the startled look on Dean’s face.
Dean was still trying to reconcile this Sam with his brother. What was going on in this world? He shook his head.
“Take a shower, Sam. Get cleaned up.” He was having a hard time looking at the bloodied facsimile of his brother-especially when he, or this world’s version of him, had been the cause of it.
Sam nodded silently and made to stand, but the cuff pulled him back down and he blinked at it for a long moment before looking back at Dean. “Key?” he asked meekly.
Oh, right. Dean cast around the trashed room blankly. If I were a key where would I hide? He patted his jacket and shirt pockets. When he patted his jeans, he felt a key-shaped lump in the front pocket. He pulled it out and glowered at it like it was causing him all these issues, not the damn djinn. He reached over and tried to ignore Sam tensing when he was within reach. He unlocked the cuff and Sam rose unsteadily to his feet.
He didn’t look back as he picked his way gingerly through the wreckage of their room to the bathroom and shut the door. The shower turned on moments later and Dean felt his shoulders droop. He couldn’t handle this much longer, seeing his brother so afraid of him. What could he have possibly done to scare Sam like this?
Dean snatched the laptop off the table and pulled up a web browser. He did a search for his own name and found a large number of news hits. That was odd. He clicked on the first story: Dean Winchester death toll rises, serial killer evades police. He read through, his eyes going wider the further he read. He tried another news story and another, but they all seemed to say the same thing. Dean eventually pieced together what had happened in this world and he didn’t like it:
In this world, their mother had still died in the fire in 1983 and he and Sam had been raised by John, falling completely off the grid, though John was suspected for a number of criminal acts the police couldn’t officially tie him to. Then Sam got his Stanford scholarship and seemed to escape his family’s grip until Jess’ death. Dean was apparently a person of interest in the fire-it had been ruled a homicide rather than an accident.
Sam had disappeared right after, though he and Dean had resurfaced in St. Louis where Dean murdered a number of women, including Sam’s college friend Rebecca Warren. After that, Dean popped up in various cities around the country, killed a few people or caused some other type of mayhem-holding up a bank in Milwaukee-and moved on. Lori Sorenson, Sarah Blake, and Madison Andrews were also among the listed victims.
Dean was number one on the FBI’s Most Wanted List. Sam was a person of interest, but there was nothing linking him to any of his brother’s crimes except his connection to Dean. A number of insiders seemed to think Dean was the dominant personality in the partnership and forced Sam to follow him across the country, killing anyone his little brother cared about if he rebelled. Considering the names of the dead on this Dean’s head, that was probably true.
Dean felt sick. Weren’t djinn illusions supposed to be wish-fulfilling? How the hell was any of this Dean’s wishes coming true?
He shook his head as Sam walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was moving carefully around the glass and his various wounds. Dean’s breath hitched when he saw all the scars up and down Sam’s body.
Dean knew his brother’s hunting scars like the back of his own hand, having sewn up most of them or at least been present when he’d gotten injured. Sam had accumulated a few scars while in school-from club soccer or general absentmindedness, the way Sam got when he laser-focused on a project-but Dean had gotten to know those just as well as the others.
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This Sam hadn’t died.
Not physically anyway. Everything that made Sam Sam was missing from the guy throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt-the quiet confidence, the soulful eyes, the slow-burning sarcasm, even the trademark bitchface were all absent, and Dean felt the loss acutely. He’d been so pissed off that he’d forgotten just how much he’d come to rely on Sam’s constant presence, during both the ups and downs.
Dean shut the laptop with a little more force than necessary and Sam jumped. He swallowed and turned to watch Dean warily. Dean couldn’t stand that deer-in-the-headlights look anymore. He needed to get out of here and back to his real little brother.
“Sam, I need to get back to the warehouse.”
His brother nodded and moved toward the bed. “I’ll just, you know, wait for you then. I won’t fall asleep this time. I promise, Dean.”
But Dean shook his head. “No, you’re coming with me.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You, me, warehouse. Let’s get moving.”
For a long moment, Sam stared at him uncertainly before he looked away and nodded. He grabbed his sneakers and laced them up and pulled a jacket over his t-shirt. He trailed Dean out of the room like he was going to his execution.
Then again, maybe that’s exactly what he thought. Because Dean needed more guilt fuel at this point.
From the moment Sam dropped into the passenger seat, he was rigid with tension. And when they hit the freeway, he gripped the door like he thought Dean might shove him out any moment. Dean had driven about ten minutes like that when he couldn’t take it any longer.
“Sam.”
“Yes?” Sam practically squeaked, letting go of the door but refusing to look at Dean.
Dean clenched his jaw. “Quit acting like I’m gonna pull a Throw Sammy From the Train here. I need some backup, that’s all.”
Sam swallowed. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being a head case. You’re right, as always. Just, you just haven’t taken me with you on a hunt since Mad-” He made a quiet choking noise before collecting himself. “Since Madison.”
Dean really didn’t want to know how that had gone down in this world, considering his apparent serial killer tendencies. His Sam was still hurting over Madison’s death, blaming himself for not saving her, more than two years later so Dean decided not to push it.
“Well maybe I changed my mind about wanting you at my six,” he said.
“Okay,” Sam replied in a tiny voice that clearly meant he wanted to ask more but decided he’d be better off keeping his mouth shut.
When Sam fell back into silence, Dean shook his head to himself. He needed to figure out what the hell the djinn was up to and get the hell back to reality. This world sucked out loud. He turned up the tape deck and blasted some Zeppelin until they pulled up in front of the warehouse.
Dean grabbed his knife and shoved his gun into the waistband of his jeans. Just because the world wasn’t real didn’t mean he shouldn’t go into a hunt unprepared. Dean nodded his approval when Sam grabbed his Taurus from the trunk and looked unsure. Dean took the lead as they headed for the front doors. Sam was quiet behind him, as stealthy as if he’d been hunting the last two years after all. Dean mentally shrugged; djinn world rules didn’t always make sense.
He and Sam went different ways when the hallway split into the wide room Dean had been staking out before getting whammied. The boy he assumed was Joey Marshall was still suspended by his wrists and hooked up to an IV in the middle of the room. And the djinn was watching the boy like a butcher eyeing a slab of meat. Dean caught Sam’s eye from across the room and nodded toward the kid. Sam rolled his shoulders and nodded back.
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“Dean Winchester.”
Dean’s shoulders slumped. Dammit. “Well that’s not fair.”
The djinn did turn then, and it smiled. “This is my world.”
Dean glanced in Sam’s direction. “So I noticed.”
The djinn regarded him curiously. “And I think you know how to get out of it.”
“Do you?”
“This isn’t the first time you’ve met my kind.”
“No, it’s not.”
“So why are you wasting your time here? You can’t kill me here.”
Dean smiled coolly. “Just trying to figure out what your game is, buddy. Then I’ll kill you in the real world.”
“My game?” The djinn sounded surprised. “I’m no different from the rest of my kind, hunter.”
“Wish fulfillment,” Dean said flatly.
“Correct,” the djinn replied.
“You’re full of shit. This-”
“This,” the djinn interrupted, “is exactly what you wished for when you walked into that warehouse, Dean Winchester.”
“Fuck, no. I never wanted Sam-”
The djinn cut him off once more. “You wanted Sam to suffer for what he did, siding with a demon and starting the Apocalypse. You wanted to punish him for abandoning his family. You wanted Sam begging forgiveness on his knees for betraying you.” The genie’s voice had turned cold. “You wanted your brother to defer to you on everything. You can’t trust him to make any choices on his own since his last choice freed the Devil. And that’s exactly what you got.”
Dean opened his mouth to tell the thing it was wrong, that it had no idea what it was talking about and should shut the hell up about his brother, but he couldn’t find the words.
Because it was right.
Fake Sam stepped out of the shadows, his gun hanging limply at his side, and stopped a few yards behind the djinn. “Am I not good enough for you, Dean?” he asked, his once broken tone now matching the real Sam’s exactly. His eyes shone in that hurt way Dean knew so well. Fuck.
“I know everything is my fault and that you’re always right,” he continued. “I can’t be trusted and you have to smack me around because I deserve it. I’m tainted, an addict, and a traitor, and I’m lucky you haven’t put a bullet in my brain yet.”
“Sammy, please,” Dean whispered, horrified. Because this? This sounded exactly like his brother and the words cut into him like Alastair’s razor.
“You got what you wanted,” the djinn repeated.
“And what do you want?” Dean demanded shakily, pulling his eyes from Sam. “You’re not exactly hiding yourself or your lair from me,” he continued, his voice gaining strength. Because anger could drown out the guilt; anger he could use.
The djinn’s smile was frigid. “What makes you think you were my target, Dean?”
Dean’s eyes widened as everything clicked into place. “Sam.”
“Better hurry,” the djinn said.
But Dean was already plunging the knife into his stomach…
His eyes flew open and he instinctively grasped at his middle, but there was no pain or blood. He shook his head and looked around. He was lying on the cool floor in the middle of the warehouse, his knife three feet away. The djinn was nowhere to be seen, but Joey Marshall was still there. Dean pushed himself unsteadily to his feet, grabbed his knife, and went over to the kid. He sighed in relief when he found a faint pulse.
After a moment’s hesitation, he pulled out the IV and cut the ropes binding him. He laid the kid on the ground. “Sorry kid, but I’m kind of in a rush here,” he said, pulling out his phone. An anonymous tip should get an ambulance here quickly enough.
Dean sped from the warehouse back to the motel, making the half hour drive in fifteen. He had no idea how much of a jump the djinn had on him or why it was after Sam, but he didn’t intend to give it the chance to hurt his little brother. Sam had enough enemies and didn’t need Dean at the top of the list.
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Sam was on the floor on his back, the djinn straddling his waist with its hands around his throat. He was shoving weakly at the genie’s face, unable to dislodge the thing. The djinn’s back was to the door, but Sam’s eyes widened when Dean kicked the door in.
“I’m impressed, Dean. You made it after all,” the djinn said.
But Dean’s eyes were only for his brother. Sam’s expression shifted from surprised to defiant to scared to resigned, and Dean’s insides clenched at the confirmation of his worst fear.
This Sam was just as afraid of him as the other Sam, just keeping it inside.
Sam went limp beneath the djinn, his meek fight drained from him.
The djinn laughed, releasing its hold on the unconscious hunter. “Lucifer’s going to reward me well for this.”
“Lucifer?” Dean hissed the name like a curse. “That’s what this is about?”
The djinn twisted to look at Dean and raised an eyebrow. “Humans aren’t the only creatures affected by the Apocalypse, Winchester. Lucifer has promised protection for any creatures who side with him.”
“Of course he has,” Dean muttered before hurling the knife in one motion. The blade imbedded itself in the djinn’s chest. The genie’s eyes widened and blood spurted from his mouth before he toppled off Sam.
Dean shut the door behind him and winced when the broken bolt didn’t click shut. The manager wasn’t going to like that…or the blood and dead body in the room.
With a shrug, he kicked the djinn completely off his brother. He knelt down next to Sam and checked his pulse, thankfully finding a weak but constant beat. The djinn had wanted to take him alive, after all. Dean leaned back against the edge of Sam’s bed, eyes never leaving his brother’s lax face.
“Shit, Sammy. What have I done?”
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The first thing Sam felt was pain in his throat. And his chest. And his back. And his head. Okay, just about everywhere, but especially his throat. The next thing was the soft mattress beneath him; he was on a bed. But the last thing he remembered was…He opened his eyes and immediately tried to sit up, only to have his muscles scream their sharp objections. He moaned and something pushed him back down. He tried to fight it until he recognized the buzzing in his ears as a voice.
“Hey, easy there,” Dean was saying.
“Dean?” Sam croaked, grimacing at the sound of his own voice.
“Right here,” his brother said.
Sam let Dean ease him back down on the bed and coughed. He found a glass in his face and he gratefully took a long gulp of water. The cold wetness was heaven going down his shredded throat. When he’d had enough, the cup disappeared. Sam stared at the ceiling for awhile, considering the last moments he remembered before blacking out. The djinn had been choking him, threatening to take him to Lucifer, when Dean had burst into the room. There had been murder on his face and, for a moment, Sam had been sure he’d been the one the look was aimed at.
He would have rather faced Lucifer than a furious Dean.
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But the djinn had found Sam anyway, and he hadn’t been able to take care of one stupid genie on his own. He did nothing but screw up. Of course Dean would be pissed that Sam had been involved in the hunt after all the trouble he went to to keep him out of it. Sam had no defense for that and decided he’d rather get Dean’s anger out in the air than let it fester. Dean had clearly had to look after Sam once he’d passed out-once more having to fix things that Sam couldn’t take care of. With a resigned sigh, Sam finally looked at his brother.
Dean was sitting in a chair next to his bed. He was wearing the same clothes he’d had on when he’d broken the door down. He also didn’t look like he’d shaved in a few days. Sam frowned, trying to make sense of that-how long had he been out?-when he noticed that the wall behind Dean was white. The Red Rock Motel had red brick walls.
“Where are we?” Sam asked, figuring that was a safe topic.
“Motel three towns over,” Dean replied, settling back in his chair. “How’re you feeling?”
Sam frowned but Dean looked like he wanted an honest answer. “Like shit,” he said.
Dean snorted. “I’m sure. You took a pretty rough beating.” He smiled slightly. “But you sure as hell look better than the djinn.”
“You get it?”
“Yep.”
Sam nodded and they fell into an uncomfortable silence. Finally, Sam spoke. “Dean, I’m so-”
“Sam,” Dean growled, “if the rest of that sentence is ‘I’m sorry,’ just can it.” Sam shut his mouth and Dean nodded. “This isn’t your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But…” Sam tried to protest, but Dean shook his head.
“I was the idiot that went after the djinn alone. Dad always said to take backup into even the simplest hunt.”
“Dad also said to have backup you can trust,” Sam countered. And Sam knew he was at the bottom of that list after everything he’d done.
Something unreadable crossed Dean’s face and Sam slumped further into the pillow. “I trust you, Sam.”
Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Dean, you don’t have to-”
“Dammit, Sam!” Sam started and Dean rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not,” Dean replied. “God, Sammy, you’re my little brother.”
“And I betrayed you,” Sam supplied, doing his best not to flinch at the memories. “I started the Apocalypse. I know.” Boy did he know.
But Dean was shaking his head adamantly. “You made some bad choices, yeah. But this isn’t all your fault. And I can’t stand seeing that look on your face.”
Sam blinked. “What look?”
“That freaked out look!” Dean exploded, jumping to his feet. The chair clattered to the floor behind him. “Jesus, Sam. You’re afraid of me. My own little brother is afraid of me. And I’m supposed to be looking out for you.”
“I-”
“I saw it when I came into the room when the djinn had you. You were more afraid of me with a knife in my hand that the freaking monster that had its hands around your throat!” Dean was pacing up and down the side of Sam’s bed as he yelled. He suddenly stopped and sank onto the mattress at Sam’s hip. Sam tried not to flinch away at the proximity.
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“No, I get it. I deserve it.”
“No, you don’t,” Dean said. “You’re my little brother. You’re a pain in the ass, but you’re still mine.” He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes going far away. “I’ve been pissed, yeah.”
“Hurt,” Sam added for him when he seemed loath to continue. “Betrayed.”
“Yeah.” Dean shook himself and looked back to Sam. “But I would never hunt you, Sammy. Never.”
Sam’s mind went blank, like he’d overloaded on information.
“If I didn’t know you, I’d want to hunt you.”
Sam didn’t know how to react to this. It just seemed too good to be true. Could Dean really mean it? Could he dare to hope that Dean really meant it? The last time something seemed right like this, he’d gotten addicted to demon blood and opened Lucifer’s cage. He didn’t deserve what Dean was offering.
“Why?” Sam whispered.
Dean gave him a sad smile. “Because you’re my brother, moron.”
And Sam knew without a doubt that Dean meant it. “Yeah, okay.”
- Finis -
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♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Thank you SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH for not only filling my prompt, but filling it with this AWESOMENESS. Oh my god I love it. Sam being afraid of Dean in both worlds, the serial killer awesomeness, Dean coming to a realization but it being so in character-
You rock my socks. \o/
~Nebula
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*gives them snuggles*
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You did a beautiful job with the prompt. The nightmare world was so vivid, and I wanted to wrap my arms around poor abused Sam. He was so utterly broken -- in both worlds.
Those two need to have needed a long heart-to-heart since Zachariah mangled their phone calls. Maybe they'll finally get around to it while Sam heals.
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