comment fic meme!
Following the results of the poll we took last month (don't make it easy on us or anything, guys, haha!), we've decided to hold a comment fic meme once every three months. This gives everyone time to write and prompt to their heart's content, and allows us mods to keep up with y'all. And we're starting right now!
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“Do you think…” he mutters doubtfully.
“No I do not.” Balthazar is extremely certain. “I’m positive that we don’t want Dean catching up to us and finding his brother stark naked in the back of our van. Now, if we want to postpone that moment as long as possible, I suggest we, as they say, hit the road.”
Castiel finds himself alone in the back with Sam as the van lurches to a start and accelerates out of the parking lot. They’re twenty miles down the road when he pops into the front next to Balthazar.
“We should accept the inevitable and make it easier on ourselves by just bringing him here. He’ll be much less of a thorn in our sides if we do that.”
“You mean much less of a pain in our asses? You’re probably right. Why don’t you just go and get him?”
“Me? I was thinking that you should go and get him.”
“Well, I’m driving aren’t I? Can’t very well pop off and leave no one behind the wheel.”
“You can.”
“Yes, well I don’t want to. So, off you go. I know how you go into withdrawal when you don’t see him for too long.”
Castiel give Balthazar a level look, but he goes, rematerializing in the parking lot of the bar to the dulcet tones of Dean yelling his brother’s name. Dean’s got Sam’s phone, so there’s no way to pretend that everything’s a okay and that Sam just decided to come for a ride with them.
Castiel clears his throat and Dean whips around, gun pointed at the angel’s chest. His eyes narrow and the gun drops as he takes in the swirling colors of the formerly drab trenchcoat. Castiel knows what the coat looks like and he tries unsuccessfully to mute it back to tan as he sees the laughter start to build.
Dean doesn’t even get the “what” of his “what the fuck, Cas?” out before he has a finger jabbed into the middle of his forehead and he’s stretched out beside his brother, flat on his stomach in what looks like the back of Andy Gallagher’s van.
“Sammy?” Dean gently shakes his brother and Sam slowly opens his eyes. Dean swallows back a groan at the sight of the colors still swirling in Sam’s irises and picks at his blood stained shirt. “What did those dicks do to you?”
“Hmmm. Castiel is a peacock.”
“I noticed.”
“The colors went in my mind. Just floated in. Then they pecked me. Hurts a little.”
Dean’s gaze takes in the back of the van, surveys and catalogues all he sees, then turns back to his brother. “Uh, huh. So tell me, Sam. Did you maybe help yourself to a little angelic weed? ‘Cause it sure seems like there’s plenty back here.”
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“It might,” Dean agrees. Then he gently tugs at Sam’s shirt, “Can you sit up a little for me, Sammy? Looks like those fucking birds got you in some hard to reach places.”
Sam raises up off the pillow and Dean slides the shirt over his head. He whistles softly and swears under his breath. Then he bangs on the panel behind the front of the van.
“Hey! I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you two and your peacocks, and I don’t want to know. I need some more water and some clean towels back here and I need them right now.”
The supplies appear immediately and Castiel’s plaintive voice follows. “Are you sure you don’t want to know?”
“Positive.” Dean shuts anything else the angel has to say out and Balthazar gives Castiel a sympathetic look.
Dean eases Sam out of his pants too, and continues his muttering at the sheer number of times Sam’s skin has been pierced by virtual angelic peacock beaks. “Okay, hold still now, this might take a while.”
“Kay,” Sam slurs agreeably and begins to sigh in pleasure and Dean’s hands roam his body. “Oh, yeah Dean. Right there feels good.”
Dean stares as each blemish the ointment touches immediately disappears and Sam’s moans of contentment begin to dissipate Dean’s annoyance and jump start a whole different dynamic. Sam’s hand traces Dean’s face and grips the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss.
“Feeling a little better there, are you kiddo?”
“M hm,” Sam replies nuzzling at his brother’s neck. His hand slides down and fumbles with the snap of Dean’s jeans. “Come on, Dean. Get naked with me. “
“Think the peacock might still be a little stoned, Sam.”
“So?”
“There are angels in the front seat.”
“Dicks.”
“We’re in the back of Andy’s van.”
“He loved gay porn. He’d be thrilled. If he knew, he’d be broadcasting us all over the world.”
That’s the only statement Sam’s made that Dean takes issue with, but since Andy’s not around to broadcast anything, he shrugs and gets naked with Sam. Stoned Sam is handsy and strong and he pulls Dean on top of him and anchors him there by wrapping his legs around his brother’s waist.
“Umph,” Dean grunts. “Haven’t done this in a while.”
“Nope,” Sam smiles, reaching a hand down to guide Dean to where he needs him to be.
The disco ball begins to rotate above them, bathing their bodies in peacock hues. Soft music comes from surround sound speakers and Dean bangs on the partition again.
“What the hell!”
“Just trying to create a mood,” Balthazar yells back.
“Fuck you!” Dean replies.
“Me?” Cas calls hopefully.
“No!” comes in stereo from both Winchesters. No more words come from the back, but there’s definitely not silence.
In the front, Balthazar turns to Castiel. “They do know they’re brothers, don’t they?”
“It doesn’t seem to matter,” Cas replies dejectedly.
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Broadcasting gay porn! Bossy, stoned!Sam! THE DISCO BALL! \o/
“They do know they’re brothers, don’t they?”
“It doesn’t seem to matter,” Cas replies dejectedly.
*is more dead than before*
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Also glad you liked the lines from past episodes. They just had to be included.
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“Sam seems to have made a full recovery.”
“So it would seem.”
“Why do you suppose your peacock reacted that way to him?”
“I have no idea.”
So, Balthazar thinks, his brother has learned to lie. He shakes his head and Sam and Dean hit the bed in their motel room so hard that they bounce.
Dean grins up into the empty air. “That was awesome! Do it again!”
There’s another whoosh and their clothes slam into the foot of the bed. Sam’s eyes are clear and his body unblemished except for the marks Dean’s put on him in the last few hours. Dean’s still sprawled between Sam’s legs, kissing him lazily. Just before he drops off to sleep, he remembers.
“Stoned peacocks?”
“I don’t know. But yeah. Stoned peacocks.”
Balthazar and Cas drive on into the night. Castiel’s coat is still muted, and Balthazar glances at him in concern.
“You know you are never getting between those two.”
Cas lets out a choked breath. “Between…..” he murmurs. Then he stares at Balthazar. “I know.”
A joint appears in Castiel’s hand and Balthazar winces at the acrid waft of chemicals that should never be mixed. He opens a window and waves his hand, trying to avoid getting high.
Castiel smokes in silence, Balthazar’s complaints not even registering. After an hour or so, he lets out a gasp and turns to the angel in the driver’s seat.
“If I were God….he’d worship me.”
The van swerves as Balthazar stares at his brother in shock. “You’ve met Dean Winchester, have you? And what do you think Sam’s going to do about you poaching his brother. And you’re not God. Perish the thought.”
Castiel can’t perish it, though. It seems like the perfect solution. It’ll take some doing. A lot of doing actually. But the end result will be worth it. Dean will be his and if Sam knows what’s good for him, he won’t get in the way. Glowy peacock eyes spring out over Cas’ trenchcoat. Pecked to death is not a good way to go.
*hides*
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And oh, man, peacocks. I had NO IDEA what I was unleashing with that! I just thought it was a pretty good bird for Balthazar and kind of rolled with it since it was cracky and fun.
Hee!
This was awesome. I hope you're very proud!
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I also rolled with the cracky, fun peacocks and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully this blew my writer's block right out of the water and I'll be able to get some stuff done.
I am kind of proud of this. I do love crack! (in the fic sense of course)
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And it would bring about an entirely different Godstiel debacle, in my mind. A much crackier one.
I'm glad you liked Balthazar. It's funny, he's a character I never considered writing until this. I think, like Alastair, he's a smoothly snarky asshole with amazing possibilities. And he does love that van.
Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed!
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Now THIS is what crack is all about!
Poor, poor, Sam, attacked by stoned jealous interdimensioanl celestial wavelength peacocks.
Also: STONED!CAS!!!! I lurved Stoned!Cas in "The End." :DDDDD
deleted & reposted for placement fail
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I mean, what else could you do with a thought like Castiel and Balthazar go on a road trip to discover their inner peacocks?
I also was a fan of stoned Cas. This almost ended and entirely different way with Cas and Balthy riding off into the night and Balthy starts talking about a stoned orgy and Cas begins to get over Dean. I had to go the way of a tiny bit of angst though. Just couldn't help it.
Glad you enjoyed, thanks so much!
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“Fuck you!” Dean replies.
“Me?” Cas calls hopefully.
Epic win.
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On the plus side, Dean is being pretty sanguine about the whole business.
I love Cas' peacock-themed technicolour dream coat of doom. :D
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Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the inspiration!
Now, I've really got to get ready for work. I was up half the night writing crack/porn probably wouldn't be a good excuse for being late!
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