FILLED: He Ain't Heavy Pt.3beamin_sunshineMay 3 2011, 00:14:01 UTC
It's after two and a half weeks that Dean bites the bullet.
"What's the room number?" Sam asks when Dean gets back and drops a set of keys in his hand.
Dean chews his lip, feeling incredibly guilty for doing this but knowing that if he wakes up one more time at four in the morning with Sam causing it, he's going to say/do something he'll regret and wind up hurting Sam worse than a little case of hurt feelings will. "Yours is eleven, mine's twelve."
Sam is silent.
Cringing, Dean risks a glance after he parks.
"You... got us separate rooms?" Sam says after a second, and underlying the surprise is... yep, a little hurt.
"Dude, don't take it personally, it's just that I need some sleep. I've got to get some sleep."
Sam nods curtly and gets out, waits with an impatient look while Dean opens the trunk. Then he grabs his bag and stalks towards his room, dropping his stuff to quicken the unlocking process. Dean knows a pouty little brother when he sees one and figures he should at least try to make amends if they're going to have a good travelling day tomorrow.
"Sammy, don't be like that, kid. I'm not trying to be mean, I just need one night to catch up on sleep. Okay? It's not that I don't want you around." Dean tries to reason.
He's rewarded with a door shut in his face.
... Of course, the one night he gets his bed all to himself and can sleep with out disturbance is the one night he can't fall asleep. Dean's been tossing and turning for hours and just cannot. Go. To. Sleep.
Honestly, he knows the reason.
Dean and his brother have never gotten separate hotel rooms before. A waste of money, for one thing, and... when you lead a hunter's life, it's natural to want to keep loved ones close. Especially little brothers who have nothing but a friggan wall in their head keeping their sanity in tact. Oh. The same little brother happens to be a danger magnet.
Growling, Dean throws one of the pillows at the wall.
And then something really creepy happens.
There's clicking at the door - the sound of a lockpick, Dean recognizes - and beings as exhausted as he is he doesn't think to do anything except sit up in bed with a handful of blankets like chicks in horror movies when the monster/killer is coming after them.
A tall figure slinks into the room, drops the lockpick and shuts the door with slow, zombie-like movement. Dean starts to reach for the knife behind him when the light coming from the half-way closed bathroom door reflects on the figure and Dean realizes that it's... "Sam?"
Zombie-Sam merely speeds his actions as he continues on his quest to Dean's bed where he promptly crawls over Dean and burrows under the covers, shifting to curl up against Dean like a puppy.
Blinking, Dean looks down at his sleeping brother. Who has obvious dried - and some fresh - tear tracks on his face. Well doesn't that just make Dean feel like a giant backside of a mule. Melting with guilt and concern, Dean shakes Sam's shoulder. "Hey, Sammy, you wanna wake up for me?"
Sam stirs, looking at Dean groggily.
"What's wrong? Y'alright?"
Sam still resembles a zombie,looking dead asleep except for the slitted eyes and sleepy voice: "You left."
Crap. "I'm sorry, dude. 'M here now. It's okay."
Sam closes his eyes again and snuggles closer to Dean, mumbling before sleep claims him, "You left. It was dark and you left. But I found you. It's okay 'cause I found you..."
Dean swallows hard, absentmindedly rubbing a hand up and down his little brother's back.
He doesn't sleep that night, too lost in thought over Sam and what a complete idiot Dean had to be to not take to heart that Cas had said his brother's soul felt like it had been skinned alive. Just because Sam didn't consciously remember Hell didn't mean his soul wasn't a complete mess that sought safety and love and comfort. Dean is equal parts touched and guilty over the fact that it's ingrained into Sam's most basic nature to find all those things to be associated with his older brother.
Sam doesn't remember any of it the next morning.
When he asks with apology written all over him, Dean claps him on the shoulder and buys Sam those cheesecake pancakes he likes so much at Ihop and doesn't mention the sleepwalking thing again.
Re: FILLED: He Ain't Heavy Pt.3samantha890June 2 2011, 09:31:17 UTC
This is so beautiful. There's something about Sam's pain that always has my heart clenching painfully in my chest. You've written this beautifully and I loved this so much. Thank you.
"What's the room number?" Sam asks when Dean gets back and drops a set of keys in his hand.
Dean chews his lip, feeling incredibly guilty for doing this but knowing that if he wakes up one more time at four in the morning with Sam causing it, he's going to say/do something he'll regret and wind up hurting Sam worse than a little case of hurt feelings will. "Yours is eleven, mine's twelve."
Sam is silent.
Cringing, Dean risks a glance after he parks.
"You... got us separate rooms?" Sam says after a second, and underlying the surprise is... yep, a little hurt.
"Dude, don't take it personally, it's just that I need some sleep. I've got to get some sleep."
Sam nods curtly and gets out, waits with an impatient look while Dean opens the trunk. Then he grabs his bag and stalks towards his room, dropping his stuff to quicken the unlocking process. Dean knows a pouty little brother when he sees one and figures he should at least try to make amends if they're going to have a good travelling day tomorrow.
"Sammy, don't be like that, kid. I'm not trying to be mean, I just need one night to catch up on sleep. Okay? It's not that I don't want you around." Dean tries to reason.
He's rewarded with a door shut in his face.
... Of course, the one night he gets his bed all to himself and can sleep with out disturbance is the one night he can't fall asleep. Dean's been tossing and turning for hours and just cannot. Go. To. Sleep.
Honestly, he knows the reason.
Dean and his brother have never gotten separate hotel rooms before. A waste of money, for one thing, and... when you lead a hunter's life, it's natural to want to keep loved ones close. Especially little brothers who have nothing but a friggan wall in their head keeping their sanity in tact. Oh. The same little brother happens to be a danger magnet.
Growling, Dean throws one of the pillows at the wall.
And then something really creepy happens.
There's clicking at the door - the sound of a lockpick, Dean recognizes - and beings as exhausted as he is he doesn't think to do anything except sit up in bed with a handful of blankets like chicks in horror movies when the monster/killer is coming after them.
A tall figure slinks into the room, drops the lockpick and shuts the door with slow, zombie-like movement. Dean starts to reach for the knife behind him when the light coming from the half-way closed bathroom door reflects on the figure and Dean realizes that it's... "Sam?"
Zombie-Sam merely speeds his actions as he continues on his quest to Dean's bed where he promptly crawls over Dean and burrows under the covers, shifting to curl up against Dean like a puppy.
Blinking, Dean looks down at his sleeping brother. Who has obvious dried - and some fresh - tear tracks on his face. Well doesn't that just make Dean feel like a giant backside of a mule. Melting with guilt and concern, Dean shakes Sam's shoulder. "Hey, Sammy, you wanna wake up for me?"
Sam stirs, looking at Dean groggily.
"What's wrong? Y'alright?"
Sam still resembles a zombie,looking dead asleep except for the slitted eyes and sleepy voice: "You left."
Crap. "I'm sorry, dude. 'M here now. It's okay."
Sam closes his eyes again and snuggles closer to Dean, mumbling before sleep claims him, "You left. It was dark and you left. But I found you. It's okay 'cause I found you..."
Dean swallows hard, absentmindedly rubbing a hand up and down his little brother's back.
He doesn't sleep that night, too lost in thought over Sam and what a complete idiot Dean had to be to not take to heart that Cas had said his brother's soul felt like it had been skinned alive. Just because Sam didn't consciously remember Hell didn't mean his soul wasn't a complete mess that sought safety and love and comfort. Dean is equal parts touched and guilty over the fact that it's ingrained into Sam's most basic nature to find all those things to be associated with his older brother.
Sam doesn't remember any of it the next morning.
When he asks with apology written all over him, Dean claps him on the shoulder and buys Sam those cheesecake pancakes he likes so much at Ihop and doesn't mention the sleepwalking thing again.
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