My Dirty Little Secret
Title : My Dirty Little Secret
Author : Meigun-Blaze
Word Count : 2766
Rating : R
Pairings : Mentions of Sam/Dean, Slight Sam/Gen, Sam/Ruby
Warnings : Slight spoilers for 6x15 Some angst. Um...a little bit of Het? Just a little, I promise.
Summary : Missing scene from 6x15 After Dean falls asleep on the couch, Sam decides to explore his-Jared's House, and what he finds, might not shock him as much as it should. Now has a sequel that can be found here http://meigun-blaze.livejournal.com/1421.html
Disclaimer : I MEAN NO OFFENSE! I OWN NOTHING! IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!
It’s all so bizarre. That’s the best word Sam can come up with when he thinks about this alternate universe, or whatever this place can be classified as. No magic, no monsters. He’s an actor with a house the size of Buckingham fucking Palace and a green-conscious wife who he’s more acquainted with as a soulless demon. Which one sounds less crazy?
Sam really can’t be blamed for being curious. Dean’s asleep on the couch and this house is huge! He’s like a kid, wanting to explore and see what makes this place tick. If anyone asks, he’ll call it investigative research. He wanders down softly lit hallways with rows of doors on both sides. Pictures of him and Genevieve liter every available surface and wall space. Sam gets unnerved seeing his own eyes; yet somebody else’s, staring back at him.
He figures that in this reality, he’s some sort of conceited douche who never gets sick of looking at himself. His wife seems to be in the same boat, and God, he never thought he’d use his name and wife in the same sentence. Sam tries doors, but most of them seem to be locked. That intrigues him. Why keep a place like this locked up? What would be the reason, if it’s just him and the Missus?
Maybe he has a skeleton key somewhere, but for now, he just picks each lock he comes across and the doors swing open easily. He finds storage rooms, empty rooms, what looks to be another smaller office. Nothing he gets his hands on gives him the answers he’s searching for. He wants to know more about this life. Why an actor? Why doesn’t he talk to Dean-or Jensen in this world. It’s been bugging him since he got here. Everyone who knows them claiming they don’t speak.
Sam tried looking himself up online, and after spelling Padalecki wrong twice, he finally got it. The only connections he could find between Jared and Jensen is that they were both born in Texas, they’re both actors who work on the same T.V. show, and a lot of their fans think they’re together. He closed his laptop after that.
Sam tries to finish his sweep of the downstairs quickly, and he thinks he’s already covered close to thirty rooms when he goes out the back door. It’s cold and dark outside, but he can’t see the stars because the city lights twinkle brightly in the distance. He doesn’t like this. Doesn’t like this big house with it’s huge space and locked doors filled with empty rooms. He feels like he could get lost in a place like this. It’s more than he needs and he misses the small hotel rooms with two beds and one bathroom while the Impala waits patiently outside to be driven again. He doesn’t like feeling like him and Dean are in the same place yet too far away to get to each other in time. It’s this thought that makes him want to go back inside, but not before he notices the near-like zoo he’s got going in his backyard.
Not only is there an alpaca, but what also looks like a couple of goats, some emus, sheep, donkeys, peacocks, and who knows what else. What is he running, some sort of animal shelter?
Sam quickly rushes back inside and bolts the door shut behind him. He tries to find his way back through the intricate maze of hallways when he runs into…Ginny? Damnit, he knows this!
“Hi! Hey there…um...Genevieve.” It comes out more of a question than anything else.
“Gen.” She corrects him. And it’s okay. He can do this. He tries for normal conversation, and only manages to creep her out even more with talk of earthquakes and hurricanes that never happened in this reality. It’s really hard to keep from staring. His mind keeps telling him that this is Ruby. That he helped kill her, felt her life drain away as he held her in his arms before tossing her aside, because this woman standing in front of him wears her face, but is nothing like her. He can see it in her eyes, she’s kinder. Sweet, actually. She has a soul and it’s really throwing him off.
When Gen kisses him, it’s soft and sweet with a hint of feisty that he definitely remembers Ruby having, and he can’t help but press back, and follow her upstairs to what is undoubtedly their shared bedroom. He can’t help but feel guilty for giving into this, but it’s been awhile for him and they are married so he goes willingly, taking the steps two at a time.
Sam didn’t get a chance to fully explore the upstairs, but it’s just as big as the first story. Gen leads him down hallways, making confident turns like she’s walked this path a million times before. She stops in front of a door and pulls out a key, turning it until the latch on the other side unlocks with a resounding click.
“Why do we lock our doors?” Sam blurts out, and he knows how stupid he must sound to her. She just looks at him over her slim shoulder with an endearing smile that says, “You’re so funny.”
“You insisted, Jared. Remember? What if someone breaks in?” She answers, clearly teasing him and his other identity’s paranoia.
“Right.” He whispers, uneasily. Gen swings the door open and walks inside. The room is huge, no surprise there, but Jared almost wants to bend over, clutch his knees and laugh until he cries when he sees what’s up on the walls. More pictures of him, of course, but there, right above the bed, is a huge mural nude painting of himself. He almost chokes on his saliva. Dean would never let him live it down if he saw this.
Gen looks at him with a confused look on her face, but she doesn’t question him. Instead, she walks gracefully to the huge California King four-poster bed, complete with black silk sheets. Oh someone has got to be kidding him. He tries to gather himself and look around some more, and that’s when he notices it.
“Where are all the pictures of you?” He asks, because they certainly aren’t up on the walls, or resting by his bedside. This seems to be the only room, “Gen Free.”
She giggles before walking back to him, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed on the far wall.
“That’s because this is your room, silly.” She whispers, going for the hem of his shirt and tugging. Sam obediently lifts his arms up and the layer is removed. His face still shows confusion but she tactfully ignores it, soft lips sealing over his and Sam just goes for it, feeling his body start to respond. Something about this still bugs him though and he tries again when her mouth closes over that spot on his neck that makes him feel weak in the knees.
“Ruby-” It’s a slip. A stupid slip but it’s out, and Gen has stopped moving. He saw her reaction when Dean-Jensen had called her Ruby, and he almost wants to flinch as he awaits the same grilling. Her small face looks up, brown eyes twinkling as she stares into his.
“You want to role-play again? Okay, Sam.” She whispers, voice gone husky as she kisses him again and he’s more than a little surprised. Eyes still wide as her mouth slants over his and her tiny delicate hand snakes down to grip him through his jeans. She turns him around and forcefully shoves him down onto the mattress, which is as soft as feathers, of course, and again he’s surprised that such a small thing can manhandle him. He sees now why his alternate-self married her.
Sam scoots back towards the headboard as Gen climbs onto the mattress after him and this whole thing is bizarre, but he needs something to take the edge off, and she’s offering, which is way better than his right hand. She climbs him like a tree with an expert nature that says she’s done this many times before as her fingers unsnap his jeans.
Before her hand reaches inside, he’s gasping out, “Where are the condoms?” He wants to be prepared. Doesn’t think he can wait. She’s giving him that look again, knowing instinctually that something is off here.
“There, in the drawer.” She answers, eyes gazing at the nightstand beside the bed and Sam reaches for it when something on top makes him freeze. His hands shake as he goes to grab the sleek black box resting innocently on the varnished surface of the wood. The lid is slightly askew, and he caught the image of a picture inside, but what's on it doesn’t make sense. His chest constricts as his heart pounds away in his chest when he finally grasps it.
Gen watches him, finely plucked brow curved upward and waiting patiently as he looks inside. A stack of pictures rests perfectly there, almost as if the box was made for them. Sam lifts them out and he’s pretty sure his heart stops completely.
They’re pictures of Dean.
All of them, taken from various angles, clearly without his knowledge and Sam feels like he’s going to be sick.
“These are-”
“You’re secret stash.” Gen helpfully supplies, sweet smile twisting into something more sinister in nature.
“It’s your dirty little secret, Jared.” She whispers, head dipping again to let her lips close around the lobe of his ear. He pushes her off of him, like her touch burns, and he feels as if it has.
“What the hell is this?” He demands, fingers gripping the pictures so tight that they crinkle in protest and Dean’s face distorts with the rough handling. Sam loosens his hold, because pictures or not, they’re still of Dean.
Gen huffs and resituates herself on the bed, looking like she’s slowly losing patience.
“Jared, this is seriously not funny anymore. Either you want to fuck, or you don’t. Just tell me now so I can go find someone else if you’re not in the mood.”
“Someone else?” Sam whispers in disbelief. “You’re cheating on me?!” He’s not offended even though he sounds as if he is. Not really. It’s not like he’s in love with this woman, but they are married, and he always thought that would be sacred to him, no matter who he was.
Gen cocks her head at him and he can feel her exasperation leaking off of her in waves.
“That’s real cute, Jared.” Sam’s really tired of hearing that name. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, hoping for calm.
“Would you just…explain this to me?” He asks, motioning to the photos he’s still clutching like a lifeline. Gen sighs.
“Explain what? What’s there to explain?”
Sam snorts and he can’t help but look at her like she’s the crazy one here.
“How about starting with the fact that this house is filled with pictures of you and me together except in our bedroom.” He gestures around them. “There’s not a single picture of you in here but there’s a whole stack of ones with De-Jensen!”
Genevieve shakes her head and her shoulders sag a little in defeat.
“This isn’t our bedroom, it’s yours. Mine’s down the hall. Have you been drinking again?” She asks, and he’s a little taken aback by the fury he hears in her voice.
“What? No!”
She glares at him, disbelief written clearly in her dark brown eyes.
“I haven’t!”
She throws up her hands in defeat and begins to climb off the massive bed, making a move for the door, but he blocks her.
“Gen, please!” He begs, using his big puppy-eyed look in full force. “I just…I need to understand.”
She sighs and shakes out her curls, but Sam knows he’s got her, because she’s looking up at him with pity, but she gives him what he wants.
“You called it an, “Arrangement,” when you approached me. Something that would be beneficial to both our careers, you said. It would keep the media off of you, and it would get me the publicity I wanted. Ringing any bells?”
Not really, but he’s starting to put the pieces together.
“Keep going.”
Gen huffs out an impatient breath, but she continues.
“You and Jensen were getting a little too comfortable with each other, if you know what I mean, and I’m sure you do.” She says, eyes darting to the pictures he still clutches.
“People were starting rumors, the higher-ups didn't like it, things got out of hand, and before you knew it, your agent was telling you to find another girlfriend. You called me the perfect solution. When our engagement was announced, you and Jensen weren’t the same. You stopped talking. Didn’t hang around each other unless it had something to do with the show. We got married, and then so did he, and just like that, no more ‘You.’” She shakes her head again and looks anywhere else but him.
“I’m worried about you, Jared. I don’t know why you continue to torture yourself.” She whispers. “You’re in love with someone you can’t have, but you keep his pictures by your bed, and the doors locked so no one ever finds out. Not even him. And now he’s in our house and you two are acting like nothing ever changed. Why didn’t you tell me? If you two are going to go public I need time to prepare-”
“It’s not like that.” He assures her as she wipes away the tears that are falling against her will. Sam’s mind is spinning. His alternate self is in love with his brother’s alternate self, yet he’s married to Ru-Genevieve? It’s all so confusing his head feels like its been split in two.
“So, we have an arrangement…but we still sleep together?” Gen laughs, unexpectedly and she lightly punches his arm.
“This is just casual, Jared. You’re not the only one who gets lonely.” She says, and her voice is so sad he can’t help but pull her into a hug. Bizarre. There’s that word again. Even in a different reality, some things never change.
*
Ruby circles him like a wolf that smells fear, and Sam knows he can’t hide from her pitch black eyes that see everything and nothing at the same time.
“You love him, don’t you?”
“What? Who?”
“Don’t play coy with me, Sam. I can practically smell it on you. You love Dean.”
“Of course I do. He’s my brother.” Sam laughs, but even to his ears the excuse rings hollow.
Ruby’s smile reminds him of a predator baring teeth as she sidles up closer.
“Most younger brothers don’t dream about fucking their older brothers.” She whispers in his ear and Sam jerks back sharply, heartbeat banging loudly in his ears.
“I know your dirty little secret, Sammy.” She sing-songs, and Sam’s eyes are so wide the sides of his face hurt, because she can see right through him.
“Shhh.” She whispers, cooing, leaning in close once more until their lips touch. “I wont tell.” She promises, hand closing over his and placing it on the jut of her hip. “But maybe I can help you pass the time.”
It’s already happened once before. He’s used Ruby because he missed Dean so damn much and she offers him something Dean never would. Something Dean can never know about. His dirty little secret. Sam’s grip is tight when he pulls her close.
*
Sam’s hands grip Gen’s shoulders and he gently pushes her back until he can look into her eyes, relieved that he still sees brown instead of inky black. This woman deserves more than what he’s given her.
“Gen, you can do better, you know that, right?” She laughs shakily and nods her head.
“Yeah, I know.” She affectionately pats his chest and informs him that she’s going to stay at a friends house tonight and all Sam can do is numbly nod, making no move to stop her as she goes. The door clicks shut with a quiet hiss of finality and then she’s gone. Sam’s still clutching the pictures and he can’t help but go through them again. They’re good, but obviously taken without Dean’s knowledge. Some are far away, others really close up so that Sam can count each individual freckle on his face and see how his eyes sparkle in the sun.
Sam places the photos back in the box before putting the lid back on and setting them back where he found them.
Where they’ll stay. His dirty little secret. He leaves the room in search of Dean.
THE END
Author : Meigun-Blaze
Word Count : 2766
Rating : R
Pairings : Mentions of Sam/Dean, Slight Sam/Gen, Sam/Ruby
Warnings : Slight spoilers for 6x15 Some angst. Um...a little bit of Het? Just a little, I promise.
Summary : Missing scene from 6x15 After Dean falls asleep on the couch, Sam decides to explore his-Jared's House, and what he finds, might not shock him as much as it should. Now has a sequel that can be found here http://meigun-blaze.livejournal.com/1421.html
Disclaimer : I MEAN NO OFFENSE! I OWN NOTHING! IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!
It’s all so bizarre. That’s the best word Sam can come up with when he thinks about this alternate universe, or whatever this place can be classified as. No magic, no monsters. He’s an actor with a house the size of Buckingham fucking Palace and a green-conscious wife who he’s more acquainted with as a soulless demon. Which one sounds less crazy?
Sam really can’t be blamed for being curious. Dean’s asleep on the couch and this house is huge! He’s like a kid, wanting to explore and see what makes this place tick. If anyone asks, he’ll call it investigative research. He wanders down softly lit hallways with rows of doors on both sides. Pictures of him and Genevieve liter every available surface and wall space. Sam gets unnerved seeing his own eyes; yet somebody else’s, staring back at him.
He figures that in this reality, he’s some sort of conceited douche who never gets sick of looking at himself. His wife seems to be in the same boat, and God, he never thought he’d use his name and wife in the same sentence. Sam tries doors, but most of them seem to be locked. That intrigues him. Why keep a place like this locked up? What would be the reason, if it’s just him and the Missus?
Maybe he has a skeleton key somewhere, but for now, he just picks each lock he comes across and the doors swing open easily. He finds storage rooms, empty rooms, what looks to be another smaller office. Nothing he gets his hands on gives him the answers he’s searching for. He wants to know more about this life. Why an actor? Why doesn’t he talk to Dean-or Jensen in this world. It’s been bugging him since he got here. Everyone who knows them claiming they don’t speak.
Sam tried looking himself up online, and after spelling Padalecki wrong twice, he finally got it. The only connections he could find between Jared and Jensen is that they were both born in Texas, they’re both actors who work on the same T.V. show, and a lot of their fans think they’re together. He closed his laptop after that.
Sam tries to finish his sweep of the downstairs quickly, and he thinks he’s already covered close to thirty rooms when he goes out the back door. It’s cold and dark outside, but he can’t see the stars because the city lights twinkle brightly in the distance. He doesn’t like this. Doesn’t like this big house with it’s huge space and locked doors filled with empty rooms. He feels like he could get lost in a place like this. It’s more than he needs and he misses the small hotel rooms with two beds and one bathroom while the Impala waits patiently outside to be driven again. He doesn’t like feeling like him and Dean are in the same place yet too far away to get to each other in time. It’s this thought that makes him want to go back inside, but not before he notices the near-like zoo he’s got going in his backyard.
Not only is there an alpaca, but what also looks like a couple of goats, some emus, sheep, donkeys, peacocks, and who knows what else. What is he running, some sort of animal shelter?
Sam quickly rushes back inside and bolts the door shut behind him. He tries to find his way back through the intricate maze of hallways when he runs into…Ginny? Damnit, he knows this!
“Hi! Hey there…um...Genevieve.” It comes out more of a question than anything else.
“Gen.” She corrects him. And it’s okay. He can do this. He tries for normal conversation, and only manages to creep her out even more with talk of earthquakes and hurricanes that never happened in this reality. It’s really hard to keep from staring. His mind keeps telling him that this is Ruby. That he helped kill her, felt her life drain away as he held her in his arms before tossing her aside, because this woman standing in front of him wears her face, but is nothing like her. He can see it in her eyes, she’s kinder. Sweet, actually. She has a soul and it’s really throwing him off.
When Gen kisses him, it’s soft and sweet with a hint of feisty that he definitely remembers Ruby having, and he can’t help but press back, and follow her upstairs to what is undoubtedly their shared bedroom. He can’t help but feel guilty for giving into this, but it’s been awhile for him and they are married so he goes willingly, taking the steps two at a time.
Sam didn’t get a chance to fully explore the upstairs, but it’s just as big as the first story. Gen leads him down hallways, making confident turns like she’s walked this path a million times before. She stops in front of a door and pulls out a key, turning it until the latch on the other side unlocks with a resounding click.
“Why do we lock our doors?” Sam blurts out, and he knows how stupid he must sound to her. She just looks at him over her slim shoulder with an endearing smile that says, “You’re so funny.”
“You insisted, Jared. Remember? What if someone breaks in?” She answers, clearly teasing him and his other identity’s paranoia.
“Right.” He whispers, uneasily. Gen swings the door open and walks inside. The room is huge, no surprise there, but Jared almost wants to bend over, clutch his knees and laugh until he cries when he sees what’s up on the walls. More pictures of him, of course, but there, right above the bed, is a huge mural nude painting of himself. He almost chokes on his saliva. Dean would never let him live it down if he saw this.
Gen looks at him with a confused look on her face, but she doesn’t question him. Instead, she walks gracefully to the huge California King four-poster bed, complete with black silk sheets. Oh someone has got to be kidding him. He tries to gather himself and look around some more, and that’s when he notices it.
“Where are all the pictures of you?” He asks, because they certainly aren’t up on the walls, or resting by his bedside. This seems to be the only room, “Gen Free.”
She giggles before walking back to him, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed on the far wall.
“That’s because this is your room, silly.” She whispers, going for the hem of his shirt and tugging. Sam obediently lifts his arms up and the layer is removed. His face still shows confusion but she tactfully ignores it, soft lips sealing over his and Sam just goes for it, feeling his body start to respond. Something about this still bugs him though and he tries again when her mouth closes over that spot on his neck that makes him feel weak in the knees.
“Ruby-” It’s a slip. A stupid slip but it’s out, and Gen has stopped moving. He saw her reaction when Dean-Jensen had called her Ruby, and he almost wants to flinch as he awaits the same grilling. Her small face looks up, brown eyes twinkling as she stares into his.
“You want to role-play again? Okay, Sam.” She whispers, voice gone husky as she kisses him again and he’s more than a little surprised. Eyes still wide as her mouth slants over his and her tiny delicate hand snakes down to grip him through his jeans. She turns him around and forcefully shoves him down onto the mattress, which is as soft as feathers, of course, and again he’s surprised that such a small thing can manhandle him. He sees now why his alternate-self married her.
Sam scoots back towards the headboard as Gen climbs onto the mattress after him and this whole thing is bizarre, but he needs something to take the edge off, and she’s offering, which is way better than his right hand. She climbs him like a tree with an expert nature that says she’s done this many times before as her fingers unsnap his jeans.
Before her hand reaches inside, he’s gasping out, “Where are the condoms?” He wants to be prepared. Doesn’t think he can wait. She’s giving him that look again, knowing instinctually that something is off here.
“There, in the drawer.” She answers, eyes gazing at the nightstand beside the bed and Sam reaches for it when something on top makes him freeze. His hands shake as he goes to grab the sleek black box resting innocently on the varnished surface of the wood. The lid is slightly askew, and he caught the image of a picture inside, but what's on it doesn’t make sense. His chest constricts as his heart pounds away in his chest when he finally grasps it.
Gen watches him, finely plucked brow curved upward and waiting patiently as he looks inside. A stack of pictures rests perfectly there, almost as if the box was made for them. Sam lifts them out and he’s pretty sure his heart stops completely.
They’re pictures of Dean.
All of them, taken from various angles, clearly without his knowledge and Sam feels like he’s going to be sick.
“These are-”
“You’re secret stash.” Gen helpfully supplies, sweet smile twisting into something more sinister in nature.
“It’s your dirty little secret, Jared.” She whispers, head dipping again to let her lips close around the lobe of his ear. He pushes her off of him, like her touch burns, and he feels as if it has.
“What the hell is this?” He demands, fingers gripping the pictures so tight that they crinkle in protest and Dean’s face distorts with the rough handling. Sam loosens his hold, because pictures or not, they’re still of Dean.
Gen huffs and resituates herself on the bed, looking like she’s slowly losing patience.
“Jared, this is seriously not funny anymore. Either you want to fuck, or you don’t. Just tell me now so I can go find someone else if you’re not in the mood.”
“Someone else?” Sam whispers in disbelief. “You’re cheating on me?!” He’s not offended even though he sounds as if he is. Not really. It’s not like he’s in love with this woman, but they are married, and he always thought that would be sacred to him, no matter who he was.
Gen cocks her head at him and he can feel her exasperation leaking off of her in waves.
“That’s real cute, Jared.” Sam’s really tired of hearing that name. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, hoping for calm.
“Would you just…explain this to me?” He asks, motioning to the photos he’s still clutching like a lifeline. Gen sighs.
“Explain what? What’s there to explain?”
Sam snorts and he can’t help but look at her like she’s the crazy one here.
“How about starting with the fact that this house is filled with pictures of you and me together except in our bedroom.” He gestures around them. “There’s not a single picture of you in here but there’s a whole stack of ones with De-Jensen!”
Genevieve shakes her head and her shoulders sag a little in defeat.
“This isn’t our bedroom, it’s yours. Mine’s down the hall. Have you been drinking again?” She asks, and he’s a little taken aback by the fury he hears in her voice.
“What? No!”
She glares at him, disbelief written clearly in her dark brown eyes.
“I haven’t!”
She throws up her hands in defeat and begins to climb off the massive bed, making a move for the door, but he blocks her.
“Gen, please!” He begs, using his big puppy-eyed look in full force. “I just…I need to understand.”
She sighs and shakes out her curls, but Sam knows he’s got her, because she’s looking up at him with pity, but she gives him what he wants.
“You called it an, “Arrangement,” when you approached me. Something that would be beneficial to both our careers, you said. It would keep the media off of you, and it would get me the publicity I wanted. Ringing any bells?”
Not really, but he’s starting to put the pieces together.
“Keep going.”
Gen huffs out an impatient breath, but she continues.
“You and Jensen were getting a little too comfortable with each other, if you know what I mean, and I’m sure you do.” She says, eyes darting to the pictures he still clutches.
“People were starting rumors, the higher-ups didn't like it, things got out of hand, and before you knew it, your agent was telling you to find another girlfriend. You called me the perfect solution. When our engagement was announced, you and Jensen weren’t the same. You stopped talking. Didn’t hang around each other unless it had something to do with the show. We got married, and then so did he, and just like that, no more ‘You.’” She shakes her head again and looks anywhere else but him.
“I’m worried about you, Jared. I don’t know why you continue to torture yourself.” She whispers. “You’re in love with someone you can’t have, but you keep his pictures by your bed, and the doors locked so no one ever finds out. Not even him. And now he’s in our house and you two are acting like nothing ever changed. Why didn’t you tell me? If you two are going to go public I need time to prepare-”
“It’s not like that.” He assures her as she wipes away the tears that are falling against her will. Sam’s mind is spinning. His alternate self is in love with his brother’s alternate self, yet he’s married to Ru-Genevieve? It’s all so confusing his head feels like its been split in two.
“So, we have an arrangement…but we still sleep together?” Gen laughs, unexpectedly and she lightly punches his arm.
“This is just casual, Jared. You’re not the only one who gets lonely.” She says, and her voice is so sad he can’t help but pull her into a hug. Bizarre. There’s that word again. Even in a different reality, some things never change.
*
Ruby circles him like a wolf that smells fear, and Sam knows he can’t hide from her pitch black eyes that see everything and nothing at the same time.
“You love him, don’t you?”
“What? Who?”
“Don’t play coy with me, Sam. I can practically smell it on you. You love Dean.”
“Of course I do. He’s my brother.” Sam laughs, but even to his ears the excuse rings hollow.
Ruby’s smile reminds him of a predator baring teeth as she sidles up closer.
“Most younger brothers don’t dream about fucking their older brothers.” She whispers in his ear and Sam jerks back sharply, heartbeat banging loudly in his ears.
“I know your dirty little secret, Sammy.” She sing-songs, and Sam’s eyes are so wide the sides of his face hurt, because she can see right through him.
“Shhh.” She whispers, cooing, leaning in close once more until their lips touch. “I wont tell.” She promises, hand closing over his and placing it on the jut of her hip. “But maybe I can help you pass the time.”
It’s already happened once before. He’s used Ruby because he missed Dean so damn much and she offers him something Dean never would. Something Dean can never know about. His dirty little secret. Sam’s grip is tight when he pulls her close.
*
Sam’s hands grip Gen’s shoulders and he gently pushes her back until he can look into her eyes, relieved that he still sees brown instead of inky black. This woman deserves more than what he’s given her.
“Gen, you can do better, you know that, right?” She laughs shakily and nods her head.
“Yeah, I know.” She affectionately pats his chest and informs him that she’s going to stay at a friends house tonight and all Sam can do is numbly nod, making no move to stop her as she goes. The door clicks shut with a quiet hiss of finality and then she’s gone. Sam’s still clutching the pictures and he can’t help but go through them again. They’re good, but obviously taken without Dean’s knowledge. Some are far away, others really close up so that Sam can count each individual freckle on his face and see how his eyes sparkle in the sun.
Sam places the photos back in the box before putting the lid back on and setting them back where he found them.
Where they’ll stay. His dirty little secret. He leaves the room in search of Dean.
THE END