what?
i guess i didn't get the job.
it sucked anyway, and i felt really weird around all those "tooth pick" girls. man, i felt bad for them. miserable creatures....
but, i have decided to make a serious effort to get into this modeling bullshit, for real this time. non of this, "well, he's my friend so i don't want any money" bullshit. non of this, "i'm just doing it for fun" crapolia. i want to do this as a job.
my only concern is that it will get in the way of school. there is so much unknown about what will and wont happen, its just a waste to stress over an unknown future.
i know i'm not the hottest girl in the world, but i certainly am pretty, and i have a nice face... its just my body i need to work on, which isn't a totally bad thing. i'm not fat, but i'm out of shape, which is just as bad. so i started doing sit up, crunches, and push up every morning and every night. not to mention stretches, cause hell... i'm in bad shape and i have super big knee problems.
jessica has given me a lot of great advice, and i'm really happy that she wants to help me go through with this. i don't have a portfolio (which is one of the reasons i didn't get the job), nor do i have the money to get photos taken. i'm lucky though, cause i know a lot of people who know useful things, like chris, who happens to be a wonderful photographer and has all the necessary equipment. jessica's friend lauren is a make up artist and knows how to cut hair. am i lucky or what? so, once i get into shape, its picture time. i'll make a portfolio and send it out to agent. there's a pretty good chance i'll be put into the "alternative" category because of my tattoos and worky punky hair. that means more work for meeee! the thing is, most girls in that category are BUTT ugly. most of them are just girls like me who have mothers who tell them that they are flawless.... all the while, the agents have A LOT to say about their skin, their hair, their teeth, their weight,... so thank you jessica. i never had a friend quite like you. now, come to think of it, i never really had friends like these at all. chef vinny is a sweetheart and has been very nice to me. pizza man vinny and liz have been extremely welcoming. jessica has done so much to help me out. mike and rita have given me more cloths than i could ever afford chris and lisa are nice and lovely and funny. anthony, well, it's too soon to say if he's become my best friend or not, but i love him and i'm in love with him and he's great. i can't even begin to think what my life would be like. i wouldn't be in school. i wouldn't be sober. i wouldn't even leave the fucking house unless there was a party...
so, we'll see how all this goes. it's not exactly the sort of job i was looking for, but it came along, and the only way to go about it is to ride this strange wave out.
it sucked anyway, and i felt really weird around all those "tooth pick" girls. man, i felt bad for them. miserable creatures....
but, i have decided to make a serious effort to get into this modeling bullshit, for real this time. non of this, "well, he's my friend so i don't want any money" bullshit. non of this, "i'm just doing it for fun" crapolia. i want to do this as a job.
my only concern is that it will get in the way of school. there is so much unknown about what will and wont happen, its just a waste to stress over an unknown future.
i know i'm not the hottest girl in the world, but i certainly am pretty, and i have a nice face... its just my body i need to work on, which isn't a totally bad thing. i'm not fat, but i'm out of shape, which is just as bad. so i started doing sit up, crunches, and push up every morning and every night. not to mention stretches, cause hell... i'm in bad shape and i have super big knee problems.
jessica has given me a lot of great advice, and i'm really happy that she wants to help me go through with this. i don't have a portfolio (which is one of the reasons i didn't get the job), nor do i have the money to get photos taken. i'm lucky though, cause i know a lot of people who know useful things, like chris, who happens to be a wonderful photographer and has all the necessary equipment. jessica's friend lauren is a make up artist and knows how to cut hair. am i lucky or what? so, once i get into shape, its picture time. i'll make a portfolio and send it out to agent. there's a pretty good chance i'll be put into the "alternative" category because of my tattoos and worky punky hair. that means more work for meeee! the thing is, most girls in that category are BUTT ugly. most of them are just girls like me who have mothers who tell them that they are flawless.... all the while, the agents have A LOT to say about their skin, their hair, their teeth, their weight,... so thank you jessica. i never had a friend quite like you. now, come to think of it, i never really had friends like these at all. chef vinny is a sweetheart and has been very nice to me. pizza man vinny and liz have been extremely welcoming. jessica has done so much to help me out. mike and rita have given me more cloths than i could ever afford chris and lisa are nice and lovely and funny. anthony, well, it's too soon to say if he's become my best friend or not, but i love him and i'm in love with him and he's great. i can't even begin to think what my life would be like. i wouldn't be in school. i wouldn't be sober. i wouldn't even leave the fucking house unless there was a party...
so, we'll see how all this goes. it's not exactly the sort of job i was looking for, but it came along, and the only way to go about it is to ride this strange wave out.