Chip chop chip?
Things have gotten really out of hand with my brother. I think about if something were to happen to any of us, or him. I dont know how I'd feel about holding these grudges then. I miss him in my life. And I dont like to think about him.
I was out of work for two days this week due to extreme anxiety and just a feeling of weakness and fatigue. So, I finally went to the doctors and had blood work done. They seem to think if its not a physical issue, that I may have some sort of panic disorder. Talking about it has really made me aware of how many people have this sort of thing. I dont want to have to take zanex or any of that, but if it will get rid of this constant mess, I'll do it.
Work is good. Its the first job where I really have to use my brain. I like it, and the people I work with are insane. I fit in perfectly here.
It may be the cold weather or boredom, but I have found myself staying in constantly. I dont like the feeling of being drunk anymore. I just used to be this huge drunk and its quite an extreme for me to resist the party willingly.
With all this, I seem to be getting stronger, and skinnier. Its funny, as soon as I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to lose weight, I lost a ton. After all those years of starving myself, all I should have been doing was eating right.
Im going shopping in Cambridge tommorrow, then to fire and ice for dinner. I have never been there to shop, but Im stoked. Winter sales are fun for me. I cant get enough of cute coats and boots and sweaters.
Overall, things are good. I have hope they'll get better.
I was out of work for two days this week due to extreme anxiety and just a feeling of weakness and fatigue. So, I finally went to the doctors and had blood work done. They seem to think if its not a physical issue, that I may have some sort of panic disorder. Talking about it has really made me aware of how many people have this sort of thing. I dont want to have to take zanex or any of that, but if it will get rid of this constant mess, I'll do it.
Work is good. Its the first job where I really have to use my brain. I like it, and the people I work with are insane. I fit in perfectly here.
It may be the cold weather or boredom, but I have found myself staying in constantly. I dont like the feeling of being drunk anymore. I just used to be this huge drunk and its quite an extreme for me to resist the party willingly.
With all this, I seem to be getting stronger, and skinnier. Its funny, as soon as I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to lose weight, I lost a ton. After all those years of starving myself, all I should have been doing was eating right.
Im going shopping in Cambridge tommorrow, then to fire and ice for dinner. I have never been there to shop, but Im stoked. Winter sales are fun for me. I cant get enough of cute coats and boots and sweaters.
Overall, things are good. I have hope they'll get better.