South Korea's 4B movement going viral after Trump’s win

[goshipgurl]

‘No man will touch me until I have my rights back’: why is the 4B movement going viral after Trump’s win? https://t.co/II8St8H9w6
- The Guardian (@guardian) November 7, 2024

• The 4B movement is going viral on social media after Trump's win this week, with many girls and women encouraging each other to avoid dating and physical contact with men as

Comments

[epicdonald]

I just got out of a relationship that lasted a few months and even halfway into it I told a friend that if the relationship ended I didn’t think I felt like trying to find another boyfriend. And she got all “no don’t give up!!!” But it’s hard to see the point of dating men and it feels like every year it gets worse.

I’ve run into the problem that any man I meet is either lowkey helpless and expects a woman to replace his mother, or he’s been independent for so long that he bails the first time he has to compromise or be inconvenienced for the sake of his girlfriend. It’s hard to find a man who’s a fully developed adult who also has the capacity to actually navigate a relationship.

At a certain point I feel like all I’d be missing out on is sex but even that’s no guarantee. More and more men are struggling to orgasm or even maintain erections so I find that sex gets more and more rough & uncomfortable. Recently I was hanging out with a few of my friends and we were all women in our early 30s and all of us were dating men who couldn’t finish. Some guys will just say “it’s not gonna happen so let’s just focus on you” but then others (like the guy I was dating) will need you to get in some uncomfortable position and get awkwardly thrusty and it just made me lose interest.

[mzgrottesca]

Porn, particularly the gonzo style shit that's be big for the last ~10-15 years has ruined sex for everybody tbh. I mean, I can't say that personally since I never existed in the pre-porno world, but sooo many studies have been done showing declining sexual satisfaction in relationships with heavy porn consumption and people under 40.

[epicdonald]

Yeah most guys I’ve been with won’t really be transparent about how often they watch it, but I do remember the first guy I dated who consistently couldn’t orgasm admitted that he wanted to watch it less often and wasn’t able to.

Also apparently plastics/microplastics screw with your hormones and have been linked to ED so that’s swell 🫠

[ahkna]

A lot of men and boys (!!!!!) who have been caught with child sexual abuse media have used the excuse that they needed their porn to get more and more extreme in order to orgasm. It's extremely fucked up.

[mzgrottesca]

It says a lot that the scientific world has generally given up on performing long-term studies on what porn does to the consumer's brain due to past studies ultimately concluding it's in violation of do-no-harm lol.

[ahkna]

Incredibly depressing stuff that the world just allows men to behave like this.

[spameyeam]

Well my cousin works in child sex abuse crimes, I’m sure you can guess which government agency, but that is exactly what she says happens. These men need more and more extreme porn and it leads them there. Obviously that’s not true with those that have been abused themselves but it is a path that they find many of them went on.

[ahkna]

Incredibly depressing that we just offer up children to sexual abusers

[blazingeternity]

Ugh, your second paragraph really hits home hard right now.

I've had the same thoughts as you re: ditching the idea of dating altogether as it only gets worse and worse and isn't worth it. I also have a lot of single / aroace female friends who unlike yours don't tell me not to give up, but actually tell me to do so lol. But... I'm just not thriving as much alone. I've been single for most of my life, yet despite all the hassle and bullshit, the times when I had someone I was doing the best. I also don't have a close, loving family to fill that gap in companionship... and I hate that for me. I honestly feel lost.

Interesting to hear that the sex issues seem to be quite prevalent as I've also come across this, but never heard anyone talk about it in a broader context. I was positively shocked that the last person I was seeing transparently talked about his struggles, so that we could figure out what worked best for both of us. My previous boyfriends were too ashamed to admit anything, or would make me feel like it was my fault -.-

[epicdonald]

Yeah I definitely wondered if it was a me problem for a few years until my women friends & i started talking to each other about it and I realized how common it was. Even recently I went down a google rabbit hole about whether ED and issues orgasming were on the rise in younger men and the info I found made it sound like it's virtually unheard of in men under 50, so i think it's underreported or the statistics are way behind.

the guy i just broke up with also frustrated me because he was unable to and had no interest in having conversations about anything that didn't directly involve him, so i couldn't even go to him when i had something i needed to talk about re: work, family, my other friends, etc. and we spent a lot of time sitting in silence. plus he didn't know how to do most basic adult tasks & expected me to explain them all to him. so once i was very sure i had no interest in having sex with him i realized i was getting literally nothing out of this relationship that i couldn't get out of my existing friendships and i ended it

sadly yep most of my friends view a relationship with a man as endgame though. my approach now is like, i'm open to dating if i can keep it fun & will pursue something deeper i meet someone promising but i'm not making it a priority. really the most frustrating thing is when a friend is dating a guy who's red flag city and i tell her that but she pursues it anyway because women are conditioned to think a crappy relationship is better than being single.

[blazingeternity]

Ugh, your last relationship sounds exhausting, and I'm glad for you that you realized you weren't getting anything of value from it and left! I couldn't date anyone who is not available to me unless it involves him. My partner has to be a friend (without actually replacing my friends), and the older I got, the more I realized that 'partner' is actually exactly what I'm looking for and what I need. I'm independent and my own person and I need someone who is too, and who complements me on eye level and vice versa. Someone you can talk to and ask for advice about anything, and who's got your back, without sucking out your whole personality to turn you into an extension of themself.

Yes, I want a relationship, but having one just for the sake of it as many women are conditioned to crave, is so so sad to me. While love shouldn't necessarily be about asking yourself what you can get out of it, it definitely shouldn't be about asking yourself what you can sacrifice for someone else's maximum gain. And mothering a man child falls under the latter :/