Shawn Mendes Addresses Speculation About His Sexuality: ‘I’m Just Figuring It Out’

[stewie_e]

Shawn Mendes opens up about his sexuality:

“The real truth about my life and sexuality is that, man I’m just figuring it out like everyone. I don’t really know sometimes and I know other times. It feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say about that” pic.twitter.com/5AvgPePXzp
- Pop Base (@PopBase) October 29, 2024
While

Comments

Re: i’m

[anterrabre]

Yes, I'm a woman. I also admit that the goalposts are somewhat different for those of us in creative fields (both male and female) because so many LGBT people are in those professions. If you were to say "Sorry, I can only have straight friends" you wouldn't have that many friends/coworkers. The "Who can go to Pride events/gay clubs" question varies depending on who you ask but the general consensus is it's for LGBT people, their family members and their allies and most people are sane; had another woman hit on me, told her I was flattered and while she was quite pretty it wasn't my thing, she said cool and was concerned with me feeling insulted that she asked me out and I told her no, because I didn't think someone assuming I was gay was a bad thing. We continued to party and 20 odd years later she's still a friend. The reason why I included my experience is that it's not just gay men doing this; some women have the same mindset as well because look at all the women insisting Taylor Swift is gay as hell while Chappell Roan is just standing there eating a ham sandwich?

There is a subtle but significant difference in someone assuming you're gay and saying "Oh, okay" once corrected, and assholes who double down, insist that you're lying to yourself, saying "I can always tell" and other nonsense. One is an assumption, the other is someone deliberately not hearing what you're telling them because it doesn't fit their own interpretation of who you are, and it's really fucked up.

Re: i’m

[ionadelfina]

I pretty clearly don't think this applies the same to women as men. Men and women are different, it's fine.

I'm talking very specifically about Shawn Mendes who is openly questioning his sexuality and who has gay men that he is close with, who he may be fucking. You can't remove all of that context and try to apply it to your own personal life to make a point.

Re: i’m

[anterrabre]

Ok, I understand what you're getting at now! My point is, prior to this point that man has said several times that he's straight and people's response has been like "Nah, you have no idea what you're talking about, you gay as sunshine" and that type of mentality I don't have time for. If someone tells you for whatever reason that "their sexuality is X" your only response should be "OK," not insisting that nope, you're gay and just don't know it yet! If there's anything he needs to figure out it should be done on his own time, not because assholes are insisting on it so they can be "right." If he is struggling with his sexuality getting DMs telling him that his GFs are beards and that he should be with a man the way God intended is pretty fucked up.

The only reason why I threw in my story was to point out that unfortunately people do that ignorant shit across the LGBT spectrum, not just gay men.

RE: Re: i’m

[theactualworst]

You’re just assuming he’s fucking these men… He’s in an industry where he will meet a lot of LGBT people. Saying straight men won’t hang out with gay men is just toxic masculinity. While many men do suffer from TM Sean certainly doesn’t seem that type. I’ve had many straight male friends who are close friends with gay men. It doesn’t mean anything.

Re: i’m

[ionadelfina]

omg you guys are really intent on not understanding what I'm saying. Shawn himself is openly questioning his sexuality, these are things that he is saying in this post right here. Did you miss that context???

I'm not talking about straight men being friends with gay men, I'm talking about Shawn Mendes* being friends with gay men. That's how this is a different situation from your straight friends.

*If we use our context clues here, we can come to the conclusion that I don't think Shawn Mendes is straight.

Re: i’m

[anterrabre]

I think we're reacting more to your comment about him possibly not being straight because "he has gay friends" than him now saying he's been questioning things. I don't know if you've been in a Mendez post here before but personally I started scrolling his posts because people are so shitty in them. I admit I feel a lil protective of dude because of this, so I apologize if it seemed like I was snapping at you.

RE: Re: i’m

[theactualworst]

I still think you’re making a lot of assumptions. Him figuring out his sexuality doesn’t mean he’s fucking all his friends. Maybe he’s fucking some of the guys he hangs out with, maybe he’s not? Even if he were openly bi, would that automatically mean anyone he hangs out with he’s fucking?? It’s making me think of people who don’t want to date me because I’m bi because they think it gives some high likelihood of me cheating since ~I’ll fuck anyone.

It’s just a weird stance imo. Do you think gay men don’t have platonic gay friends?

It’s like straight guys who get “worried” about gay guys in locker rooms because what if he hits on me or looks at me?? Just cause you’re a dude doesn’t mean he thinks you’re hot.

I don’t think you’re trying to be offensive for the record but it’s coming off weird and pushy.

I think we all can acknowledge too if our friends are attractive. Attraction and wanting to date/fuck don’t always correlate for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes it’s just not worth ruining the friendship and you know a relationship wouldn’t work and fucking would make things messy.

Re: i’m

[ionadelfina]

I don't think I ever implied that I wasn't making an assumption? This is a gossip forum. Why is now the time when speculation is suddenly beyond the pale?

Look I honestly hate pulling this card and it sucks that I even have to say this but I'm a bi woman who has only ever dated other women. I've mentioned it on this site a few times before. Many LGBT friends and family members. Explain to me exactly what is offensive about a bi person thinking someone else is bi?

RE: Re: i’m

[theactualworst]

It’s this blanket comment about male sexuality:

Girl, idek what to say. Sometimes you just have to open your eyes and look. This just sounds like naïveté about male sexuality. If he is surrounding himself with gay men, they're not just hanging out. He's rich and famous and has access to more resources than either of us could probably conceptualize. I'm sure he's had no dearth of willing sexual partners.

Re: i’m

[ionadelfina]

Yes, male sexuality is different than female sexuality. Men are far more inclined to want and pursue casual sex. That's just a fact.

And again, this is where we have to read my full statement and remember context. Shawn Mendes is a rich, famous man who has many gay men in his inner circle. Even if he's not fucking his friends, he's certainly had the opportunity to be with men.

RE: Re: i’m

[theactualworst]

It’s the fact that you’re saying it so definitively and relying on stigmas to “prove” your point. Which, in the context of this post is particularly rude. He’s saying how hard it’s been for him because people analyze and pull apart everything he does. That because he doesn’t fit the gender normative he’s just lying to himself. At minimum it’s just unnecessary.

Gender normative pressures are what keep people afraid to be open and explore their sexuality. That’s part of the whole problem. It shouldn’t intrigue people this much just let him live.

Re: i’m

[ionadelfina]

He's literally a gender-conforming man who I think fucks other men. It's only offensive if you secretly think that there is something shameful about it. No one is saying that he can't live, he's also a celebrity who shows no signs of wanting to step away from that life. Speculation is part of the package.

RE: Re: i’m

[theactualworst]

Not you trying to turn this around on me now. I thought we were having a good faith discussion. Bye!