Sum 41 manager denies sexually abusing Deryck Whibley
Sum 41 lead singer Deryck Whibley revealed in his recently released memoir Walking Disaster that the band’s manager Greig Nori groomed him and pressured him into a sexual relationship. Deryck was 16 when he met 34 year old Greig backstage. At the time, Greig was the frontman of the Canadian band Treble Charger. Greig gave his phone number to Deryck and became a mentor to him, talking to him on the phone for hours. He eventually became Sum 41’s manager. Deryck said Greig was the first person to give alcohol to the band.
Deryck said that Greig demanded total control as a condition of being the band’s manager: “We couldn’t talk to anyone but him, because the music business is ‘full of snakes and liars’ and he was the only person we could trust.” Greig isolated the band members from their parents by telling them, “You can’t have a relationship with your parents and be in a rock band. It’s not cool. It’s going to hurt your career.” Deryck said he now realizes that Greig did this because if their parents had known how he was treating the band, they would have known it was wrong.
Greig also insisted on being credited for Sum 41 songs that he didn’t write. He told the band that having him as a cowriter on their songs would give them more credibility in the industry.
When Deryck was 18, he was at a rave with Greig who took him into a bathroom stall to do ecstasy. Deryck said Greig grabbed his face, kissed him passionately, and told Deryck that he had never been attracted to a male before but that Deryck brought it out in him because they had such a special connection. Deryck had not been attracted to men before so Greig tried to convince him to be physical with him using the argument that many rockers were “queer” and that “most people are bisexual; they’re just too afraid to admit it.” Deryck said Greig was so relentless that eventually he began to believe that maybe Greig was right.
Deryck said that when he tried to end the physical relationship, Greig accused him of being homophobic and said that Deryck owed him for starting the band’s career. Greig also blamed Deryck: “He told me this was all my fault to begin with because I should never have said yes to it in the first place. I started this and now he was in it with me so I couldn’t just stop.”
The sexual relationship ended a few months later when a mutual friend found out about it and told both Deryck and Greig that what was happening was abuse. Deryck did not tell his bandmates what happened between him and Greig. He said Greig continued to be emotionally abusive to Deryck and the rest of the band, frequently attempting to pit them against each other (and accusing Deryck of “going Hollywood” for dating Avril Lavigne), until they fired him in 2005.
Deryck said there was a period where he didn’t think about it as a form of self-defense because he didn’t want to be a victim. For a long time, he labeled what happened as “some shitty thing I went through.” It wasn’t until he began dating Avril Lavigne in 2004 and he confided in her that he realized what it was because Avril flat out told him, “That’s abuse! He sexually abused you.”
When Deryck told his current wife Ariana Cooper, she confirmed what Avril had told him years earlier. Ariana said, “He groomed you from a young teen and mentally forced you. You said no, you didn’t want to do this anymore, and he told you it had to continue or you would lose everything. That’s psychological, mental, and physical abuse.”
He said that he is currently in the early stages of processing the abuse: “I’m dealing with it for the first time, and I don’t know what I think about it. I can’t deny that it was very manipulative, but I didn’t really realize what a lot of this was. It didn’t dawn on me until I hit the age he was, in his mid-30s, when I was a teenager. He was a hero, so to see that power dynamic, you see how you can manipulate a 16-year-old kid.”
He also had an epiphany during the #MeToo movement. He said that after hearing survivors describe being groomed, “it all made sense.”
Initially, Greig refused to comment but he has since issued a statement denying that he pressured Deryck into a relationship, claiming that it was consensual. He also claims that Deryck was the one who initiated it “aggressively.”
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In response, Deryck posted a video where he said: “It's been an extremely heavy week for me. It's come to my attention that Greig Nori has now called me a liar. I'll tell you right now, I stand behind every word that's in my book, 100%. I'm not a liar, and I'm going to speak to you directly, Greig Nori. If you think I'm a liar, there's only one way to settle this: under oath. In front of a judge, in front of a jury, anytime you want. I'm ready whenever you are.”
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