ONTD Original - Scandals in the Evangelical Church
The anniversary of this shitshow is upcoming, so that's why it's being featured in this edition of ONTD Divinity School. Get your calculators out, jackals. Numbers abound!
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This is what really tripped me up as well! As much as I'm not fully on board with Catholicism (and not at all on board with the Catholic Church), I did appreciate how seriously the truly devout Catholics in my life growing up took the sacrament of penance and actively worked to make amends for their sins. I started church-hopping a bit in my early 20s and ended up trying out a bunch of different protestant churches, including a few evangelical ones, and I got whiplash by how different it was. There were, like you said, some great habits that I think Catholics would benefit hugely from picking up (like actually reading their bibles and build friendship and community with each other), but also a lot of what you're describing: a transactional relationship between you and the church you're attending (and not even necessarily God) that would benefit you if you just put in more effort. That the most important thing wasn't to be a good person or try and fix problems in your life and community but instead to just keep showing up and ticking off boxes and eventually you'd get your reward. I remember asking a pastor how I could/should resolve an issue in my life (behaviour that would qualify as sinning under Catholicism) and the advice was pretty consistently to just show up and pray more. If I wanted forgiveness, I could ask Jesus, and then Jesus would work forgiveness in the other person's heart if I truly meant it.
I gave up entirely not long after. I do believe in something, but at this point I don't think I need to put a fixed label on it. Maybe in the future. For now I think I'm happy enough trying to do the right thing and make amends with people directly.
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