Zoë Kravitz Opens Up About Not Wanting to Have Children

[hewontgo]

Zoë Kravitz Opens Up About Not Wanting to Have Children https://t.co/fGzn5bUZ5n
- Harper’s BAZAAR (@harpersbazaarus) August 16, 2024

“For a long time, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was waiting for this light to go off in my head, and it never did. When you’re younger, you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t have kids. I’m too young! It’d be

Comments

[champagnexdream]

Hopefully she's an "I don't want kids" adult and not an annoying childfree one who projects her (justified) anger about societal expectations onto people who do choose/are able to be parents. I know way too many of those

[lamppost1911]

There’s a Substack author I used to follow who basically made that her entire personality and I had to unfollow. I choose to be child free and even I was like “omfg, stfu, come up with something at least interesting!”

[champagnexdream]

It's sf weird to me! I have friends and fam without kids who aren't weird about being around my kid and love her like they love me, and others who are super avoidant and I'm like um, she's part of my life and an extension of me?

It's not like we are the kinds of parents who do nothing without her - we will get a babysitter or leave her with my brother (who doesn't have kids yet but isn't ~childfree~ and loves her/wants to spend time with her) - for outings here and there.

But there's a big difference between like, my bro and my bro-in-law, whom I don't think has willingly hugged or picked up my kid once lol. I know it's not his kid and tbh it doesn't bug me as much but I know it bugs my husband and that makes me sad. Ofc people can do what they want but grown adults have a kid ick is so strange to me

[lamppost1911]

It’s so funny reading this because I used to be so good with kids and was basically a big kid myself and they all flocked to me but the past few years, I just don’t know how to interact with them? I mean, I still do and my best friends’ kids will NOT leave me alone when I visit, lol. But it’s like I’m a robot sometimes but I definitely still hug them back or play when needed. Maybe that’s it? They just don’t how to act?

I used to be soooo good at playing “pretend” but I almost blew Santa’s cover when my friend was using this Christmas decor I had as a walkie talkie to Santa in front of his kids 😂😂😂

[champagnexdream]

They have friends with kids and are 36 years old. I know it's not the same but they have a dog they legit treat like a child affection and "stuff" wise, it's not that hard, IDK maybe I'm a bitch.

The Santa thing is killing me xD That is a sitcom scene for sure lolllll

[lamppost1911]

That is weird, I didn’t realize til rereading your comment that they avoid your kid. I’m sorry. I hope they come around because I can see how that makes it not just awkward, but hurtful.

My friend was quick! Basically the decor was this old timey microphone that was supposed to play Christmas sayings and as my friend is “mid conversation” with Santa I go “oh, that doesn’t have any batteries so you won’t hear anything.” And he just gives me that look and says to his kids “clearly she is not a grownup because until Christmas, Santa will only talk to grownups so we can make sure you all are being nice and he knows what to bring on Christmas”

[champagnexdream]

It's not so much that when they're around they like run away from her, it's just a big lack of interest and very "IDK where to put my hands, I'll pat your head I guess" kind of demeanor when they are around lmao. She's met them only a handful of times and they live 2 hours away. IDK if it's more about scheduling and my husband just not taking initiative but he says he doesn't want to bother them/make them feel obligated. They live a very post-grad life, which is totally their prerogative

[helyanwe89]

I didn't like being hugged as a child & still am not big on them.

I have a 3 year old niece. I have held her as a baby but I don't see her all that often and she can walk so I don't really pick her up.

I have sat on the floor & played with her, but tbh she's pretty clingy towards my sister & often isn't all that interested in me. She only wants books read to her by my sister, not even her dad.

She's going to be in preschool upcoming here twice a week and my sister is looking forward to running errands, maybe going to the gym etc... alone but my niece was in tears over the fact my sister wasn't going to be staying with her.

[champagnexdream]

Awww yeah that is the tradeoff of staying home with your kids is that the separation can be a lot harder later, but it's great your sister has been able to be home with her, if that's what she wanted. It's hard as hell either way. And your niece will get used to it and thrive with other kids after getting over that initial transition! ♥ Hopefully it makes her more open to her dad too, I'm sure he feels helpless.

To your first point, that's OK! I'm glad you listened to and respected her boundaries, and hopefully people have done that with you too. But my situation is less like, I need my in-laws to hold her and more like, just be a little interested? IDK. Again it's their life, it's just weird to me

[helyanwe89]

She was working as a substitute teacher, but quit during covid & has said she'll go back when my niece is 5 and in Kindergarten however her teaching licence expired.

She doesn't think she can handle a second child.

[champagnexdream]

Oh man. My daughter is in daycare FT and it's STILL hard when we are together, but I find I have a lot more patience than if I was with her all day. I tell myself quality over quantity of time, but the mom guilt is real though.

I hope your sis listens to her gut re: a second child. If we didn't go through so much with IVF and had a second embryo on ice I'm not sure I would either, but when I'm honest with myself I do want to. It's just SO hard

[rainbows_are_ok]

haha there's a lot of those on ONTD.

[champagnexdream]

Sad but true. Meanwhile other developed countries outside of the U.S. treat children like actual humans in terms of accessibility and comfort, while also expecting them to behave and not expect to be the center of the universe. The U.S. is so weirdly exactly backwards from that

[marzipanism]

IA

People who don't want kids? Full support.

People who straight up hate children? I don't get it

Like you know you were a child once...

[champagnexdream]

Exactly. I live in Orlando and I go to Disney with my kid sometimes and these childfree people look at her like she's annoying when she's literally just being excited lmao I'm like y'all need to chill

[lolzerz]

Bold of you to assume i didnt hate myself as a child too