Revisiting 2014 ONTD Original: The Best (aka the worst) of Preserve
In honor of the recent downfall of Blake Lively, let's revisit this 2014 ONTD post by yours truly with select insane quotes from her website for Preserve.
For those who don't remember, Preserve was her attempt at becoming a lifestyle influencer- the website (briefly active from 2014-2015) sold artisinal, rustic items that some people say seemed to be inspired by Southern living. The prices were insane, and according to my original post, she was selling artisinal salt for $40.
The website is now defunct, and it's hard to find much info on it via online searches. I've included the text from the original post (original pictures no longer available).
It’s been a while since we’ve made fun of Blake Lively’s pet project, Preserve. From describing an ice cream sundae as “a message from the subconscious,” to “being so bold as to posit that a barbecue is an inherently medieval affair,” this site can be hilariously pretentious. Click behind the cut to enjoy some snippets from their newer posts. Blake may have read the previous ONTD comments because the new content is nowhere near as bad as the earlier posts, but there are still some amusing things in here!
I hope you enjoy this post with the "ease of a hummingbird relishing a pastoral bloom!"
On candles:
"The warm glow of candelight instantly evokes an intimate and enchanting ambience befitting of the brisk days ahead. Capture this luminous sentiment with a radiant and effortlessly made vessel that will shine above the rest.
A DIY mainstay, these votive candles can be easily galvanized for endless versatility. So, go on and give your nightstand, or dining centerpiece, a whimsical touch that will wondrously illuminate all your fall festivities.
Shine on…"
On fall picnics:
"Pack freshly picked apples, and Brie along with warm, mulled cider in thermos' to set the tone. Pick a spot not too far from civilization that gives you a good view of the trees and horizon line, but is flat enough to comfortably welcome a blanket. With nothing but the afternoon ahead of you, good company, and a spectacular view - enjoy everything Mother Nature has to offer before she descends into her own euphoric slumber in advance of spring's rebirth."
On wheat:
"Wheat is meant to signify love, charity, faith, prosperity, abundance, bounty, fertility, and closeness to mother earth. Some of it’s most famous emblem blazers are Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, the bible, and even the trending sprouted grain breads at the organic market -quite the varying fan base. We can see why though, a simple sheaf is a thing of great beauty. The many meanings attributed to the grain make it all the more special. So this fall, gather some wheat, cover it in glitter and let it shine as the centerpiece of your table, or as a subtle discovery accent who whispers it’s magic only in candlelight."
On cloaks:
"From fairytale princes, to The Phantom of the Opera, to golden age Hollywood icons, the lure of a cloak has continually maintained a mysterious and magical appeal. Dramatic, yet practical, these magnetic coatings date back to a time when the need for functionality outweighed stylistic expression. Used dually as a blanket and an outer garment in Ancient Rome and the Middle Ages, these sumptuous* creations were sensible in form and function. The enchantment of the cloak was revived as a fashion statement during the 20th century when women indulged in sensual and theatrical evening attire, revealing only the slightest amount of skin under luscious layers. These styles are still adored today.We continue to embody this mysterious allure with bold cloaks, daringly sheer accents, slinky knits, and sumptuous* threads that embrace the magic of the midnight moon."
*Please note the use of sumptuous twice within 3 sentences...
And because apparently one post on cloaks wasn’t enough, here’s a second post they had on cloaks:
"With endless versatility and some serious sartorial credibility, these one-of-a-kind overcoats can be re-imagined with an accessory here and a change of a dress there. From day to night, from the countryside to the city streets, these eye-catching cloaks can help switch up your style no matter the occasion. The possibilities are endless…"
On apples:
"The apple signifies the hippest of modern technology, the “original sin”, the best way to keep the doctor away, eternal sleep for the fairest of them all, being a teachers pet, …you get the point. It is iconic, impactful, and at the center of much creativity and inspiration. For us at Preserve though, the greatest significance of a fresh apple dangling from a tree is: fall has truly arrived."
On plating with texture:
"A splash of color or a hint of texture peeking out from beneath an already yummy looking bite adds the interest of the unexpected. Choose this pop of allure by seeking out a platter which is embossed with great detail, or a material which is comforting and timeless -like copper. What are the tactile finds that most evoke the warmth of the season to you?"
Also tbf, some of these are out of context. The wheat and apples are from a DIY article. They sound ridiculous in context too, but just more so out of context lol.
Bonus:
$40 ~artisinal salt~"
Source 1 2 3