What Does ‘Choosing the Bear’ Mean? All About This Simple Yet Profound Trend

[just444]

Choosing the Bear: All About This Simple yet Profound TikTok Trend https://t.co/wq9K0R60EG
- Glamour (@glamourmag) April 29, 2024
have you seen men all over the internet getting mad over bears in the past days

Comments

[automaticpeople]

Years and years ago, I used to post on a forum (that I can’t even remember the name of, so I don’t know if it’s still going), that would post news stories for people to comment on. Whenever the topic of a woman being killed/assaulted by a man would arise, male posters would go crazy at any woman who claimed she was cautious around strange men. However, those same male posters would also chastise women who had been assaulted or murdered, saying they should’ve been more careful.

#cannotwin

[anna_drenxavier]

YEP. "Be careful around all men, you dumb broads! Except me and my buddies, if you're careful around us, you're just a snotty bitch!"

[xtinkerbellax]

The same men I see telling women with deadbeat and/or abusive exs that they should have picked better. They move the goalposts so it's always our fault and then wonder why there's a male loneliness epidemic and more and more women have just stopped entertaining the idea of bringing men into their lives.

[squirrels_oh_no]

After how I've been treated by men since I started attempting to date in college, I'm fine with my fantasy version of reality IE writing romance novels with idealized but definitely fictional men instead of trying the dating pool again. After a guy used autism as an excuse to gaslight me into putting up with his bullshit, nah, I'm good for now.

[kerosene_pill]

ooooh someone in the same boat as me! Admittedly I prefer vicariously living through the fics/stories I read because it's my own personal self-esteem issues that forever keep me away from attempting things with a guy but I mean...look at the sad state of affairs anyways lol Clearly I'm not missing out on anything!

[theylezharold]

Ugh I still remember the absolute losers my straight friends have dated.

They refused to go down on them bc they said "the juices" give them acne, while expecting BJs all the time.

[awkward_as_heck]

Seriously, buy a nice house, acquire some cats and turn that draft of a novel into something decent is the backbone of my life plan right now.

[anolinde]

God yes, writing and reading romance novels is honestly way more fulfilling than being with an actual man lol. Sad that romance is basically a fantasy that the man will respect you, show that they're interested in you, express their emotions, and care about pleasuring you in bed.

[libre_m]

Yep: "Women should just pick better"....."wait, why are no women picking me?!"...."Women shouldn't be allowed to pick for themselves".

[afeelingunacted]

Omg I literally saw a tweet like this yesterday. A woman was sharing how her husband who appeared loving on social media was abusive and the comments were all men criticizing her for choosing him.

[angriest_girl]

That still happens on every post on every forum about that topic. Also guaranteed in the comments:

1. Women are overreacting - I’d never hurt one and neither would any of my mates (yes they would).

2. But what about violence against men? No one talks about that!

3. Women need to stop picking bad men. They bring it on themselves.

4. Men kill themselves more than women do, no one wants to talk about that!

[inandoutofgrace]

I absolutely LOVE #2, I always bring receipts showing the perpetrators of violence towards men are overwhelmingly men, and weirdly it’s always crickets after that 🤔

[angriest_girl]

I do the same, and also with #4, because statistically women actually attempt suicide more than men do. Men are more successful because they tend to use more violent, immediate means like guns and hanging, whereas women are more likely to take an overdose and be found or change their mind and reach for help in time. So I’m like sure, let’s have a conversation about this crisis that affects both men and women and actually women’s mental health appears to be worse since they make more attempts to kill themselves than men do, what do you reckon that’s about? Weirdly, the men never seem interested in furthering that discussion. Because they don’t actually CARE about male suicide, they are just trying to “gotcha” women and allies.

[inandoutofgrace]

tale as old as time, saw it with the Debt/Heard defamation trial yet crickets when men in Hollywood came forth with their stories of abuse at the hands of someone more powerful. In fact MJ’s male victims are still disparaged, are they not?

[starsandcrosses]

Because they don’t actually CARE about male suicide, they are just trying to “gotcha” women and allies.

exactly this, omfg. i feel like this narrative of men being more secretive about their mental struggles and attempting suicide more often is so dangerous to women. an ex-colleague ran a marathon a while ago and dedicated the money she raised to an organisation specifically focusing on helping men with their mental health because "they need it and women already have the support they need" oh fucking really? it makes me furious tbh

[automaticpeople]

Whenever I bring up what you said about #4, I get told that women just attention seek with their attempts.