Lupita Nyong’o Breaks up with Selema + spotted at concert with Joshua Jackson

[nutella_forever]

https://instagram.com/p/Cyl8Ijwyc5Y
Lupita Nyong'o revealed that she’s going trough a break up- fans had noticed that her and her boyfriend (TV host and sports commentator) Selema Masekela did not follow each other anymore

Comments

[fraises]

UGH i feel that so hard. My partner of 15 years cheated on me this summer when he was working across the country for 6 months. The only reason I'm working on reconciling is bc we had a fantastic relationship this summer, and I know how hard and emotional it was for me to be without him all summer, i have to admit i was tempted as well as one point but was stronger than him

[andisprohi]

Girl, no no no. Do not tell yourself "oh poor him, he was bummed because he was far from home." Just dump him and move on. I knew someone who told themself & everyone else that lie when her man cheated. And I just sat there on multiple occasions thinking "Hon, you forget you told me all the times he cheated on you before that, while he was home with you and before he had a traveling job."

[fraises]

He's never cheated on me before. And I broke his trust, not with infidelity but with something else that was a hard line, years ago, and we worked through it and got back to a great relationship.
I'm extending a one time offer of grace and potential forgiveness to him. If it bites me in the ass so be it but he's been one of my best friends for almost 30 years and my partner for almost 16. He's seeking help for depression which he's been noticeably dealing with, and we are doing therapy.

[andisprohi]

"He's never cheated on me before."

If you wanna believe that...

[feitality]

Too much about him, but now, what about you? Can you really trust him again? I don't doubt you love him, but are you too used to him you can't imagine life on your own again? Is the heartbreak of a breakup he caused too painful that you'd rather live with the pain of what he did?

[fraises]

Oh i'm working on figuring that out, that's for sure. I've never had reason not to trust him before, and i know it's something that will take a lot of time. We've been together since we were 25, and I've known him since i was 13...and honesty has never been an issue with him. Whereas I struggled with honesty about 7 years ago in relation to something else that should have been a dealbreaker for him. He forgave me, we worked through it, and I've been honest with him since, to a fault. I know how hard it was to regain his trust, and i see him putting in work to get there

[feitality]

What you did that "should have been a dealbreaker for him"... It clearly was not nearly as bad as cheating. This chance you're giving him is your grace towards him and to the relationship you have built since you were teens. He doesn't deserve this chance, never will, keep that in mind, because you keep bringing that up as to improve his case when he ain't got shit

[thebadunkadunk]

Cheating is honestly complicated. You’re not less than for staying right now but I hope you continue to protect your heart.

[fraises]

Yeah I know it may not work out but I don't think it will regret giving it a second chance even if it doesn't. It's got us both doing therapy and we are both addressing issues that have come up in ourselves in the last few years. We had a good relationship but since covid were both having issues ourselves that we were sweeping under the rug.

I wish there was less judgement on people who try to work through infidelity. I think it makes it hard to talk about and probably makes a stronger trauma bond with the person that betrayed you which isn't gonna fix or help anything.

[sastra_fuss]

You gotta cheat now

[rosytintedflash]

hall pass!!!

[fraises]

Lmao right?

[itsme_eloise]

i'm so sorry you're going through that. i'm not going to tell you what to do but may i suggest that you reframe your thinking that you were stronger than him? i think it's in the nature of someone kind to want to forgive someone for not being strong enough but it's not about strength. it's about respect. it was hard for both of you. you respected the two of you. he did not.

[adb7]

I'm sorry he put you in such a difficult position.

[ninelives]

15 years together and he cheats within 6 months apart? girl...

[progression]

Temptation is one thing, acting out on it is another. I don’t think not cheating makes anyone strong, it just means that you respect your partner enough to not put them in a position where they have to choose you or freedom.

However, 15 years is a long time and since you said he worked through some major issue with you… I can’t judge you for wanting to reconcile.

But, I do hope you take into account how much you value your peace of mind, trust, and safety (get yourself checked out if you haven’t yet). You matter.