Y'all, I can't imagine being pregnant at 23, like...you have more energy but raising a kid for the rest of my 20s. Wishing her all the health and happiness with this pregnancy.
I have never thought of it from that perspective, and obviously would never know, but this is a very interesting "what if". It depends on so many factors. I had my first 2 kids before I turned 25, older of them would have turned 20 this year. I have never regretted a thing. Body recovered easily, I have just graduated from college and worked for some time (it was not in the US), had a feeling that I had some life and never felt like they have taken anything away from me. During every pregnancy I would enroll into some classes or something, used the downtime to advance my education or career, and overall felt more in control of my life. For me it was a great time to have children. I struggle with my younger ones way more. The middle child of my partner had 3 kids between 25 and 30 and is completely drowning. So it's very different.
Thank you for sharing a part of your life and experience. In comparison to my comment, what you shared is what I would prefer if I had the opportunity to have children young. In the case of celebrities, they have access to care and help due to their money/privilege but still, I'm always surprised when young actresses get pregnant at the height of their momentum,
It does look potentially threatening to her career, since I wouldn't call it a height, it seems more of a recent breakthrough to me. And also given her very fresh, childlike, ingenue image, she may loose some points with stupid employers. But. One -- career is not everything. Two -- nobody said, it's over. I am personally more annoyed by choice of a partner. There. Grandma has spoken. Picture me as Maggie Smith.
I had my daughter at 25 but because of the industry I'm in, lots of women wait, and so my friends are all having kids between 33-40. And they are TIRED. I'm not saying I wasn't tired at 25, because babies are tough no matter what, but there's no way I could have a newborn now. I also think it'll be nice to be an empty-nester in my early 40s. Unlike my late 20s, I actually have money now and so I'm hoping my partner and I will be able to travel and do other fun things that I wouldn't have been able to afford when I was younger.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience and this perspective. I completely understand and agree about having them young and wanting the empty-nest in your early 40s. I suppose if my life was different I would choose this path. I have a few contemporaries who had kids in their mid-30s and are exhausted; they constantly complain about the life they miss. Where I don't begrudge anyone wanting children, I do think there's no shame in admitting it might be too late for it and to adopt or support a foundation that helps children.
I think that's a big part of it! Having a baby is a huge lifestyle change. A lot of my friends have been in stable relationships/marriages for 5 or more years, are homeowners, etc, but are only just now having kids. They got used to one lifestyle, which involved a lot of freedom and disposable income, and readjusting at 35 can be more difficult than people think it will be.
It’s both easier and harder to raise a kid as a young parent. Sure, you have the energy, but you often don’t have the financial or emotional stability that a parent in their 30s or 40s would have. Then again, I’m speaking as someone who became a parent at 20, which is very different than having a kid a few years later. My kid’s dad was 25 at the time and was more “ready” than I was.
My friends who had their kids in their late 30s are all tired, but they also have access to more resources than I did. But I get to be in my early 40s and not care about school schedules and stuff.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I realize my comment wording was weird, I meant that I would want to wait until after my 20s because I can't imagine having a baby during that time when I still felt like a child myself; I'm sure there are very mature 20 somethings lol.
Consider the replies and learning about perspectives, if I could have the opportunity, I would rather wait until late 20s/ early 30s to have a child.
No worries, I don’t think there was anything wrong with how you worded it. I was actually trying to agree with you. :) I don’t think the majority of people are “ready” to have kids before they’re 25 or even 30. I certainly wasn’t. I felt like a baby raising a baby.
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It depends on so many factors. I had my first 2 kids before I turned 25, older of them would have turned 20 this year. I have never regretted a thing. Body recovered easily, I have just graduated from college and worked for some time (it was not in the US), had a feeling that I had some life and never felt like they have taken anything away from me. During every pregnancy I would enroll into some classes or something, used the downtime to advance my education or career, and overall felt more in control of my life. For me it was a great time to have children. I struggle with my younger ones way more.
The middle child of my partner had 3 kids between 25 and 30 and is completely drowning.
So it's very different.
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But. One -- career is not everything. Two -- nobody said, it's over.
I am personally more annoyed by choice of a partner. There. Grandma has spoken. Picture me as Maggie Smith.
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My friends who had their kids in their late 30s are all tired, but they also have access to more resources than I did. But I get to be in my early 40s and not care about school schedules and stuff.
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Consider the replies and learning about perspectives, if I could have the opportunity, I would rather wait until late 20s/ early 30s to have a child.
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