(Relationship) Death by Chocolate: AITA Post Goes Viral on Twitter -- Who's in the Right?

[until_you_leave]

A reddit post on r/AITAH has taken Twitter by storm.

Oh hell no. I hope she never responds. pic.twitter.com/b4H8YXMP9D
- AskAubry 🦝 (@ask_aubry) August 25, 2023

tl;dr: Girlfriend (36F) asks boyfriend (34M) if he wants her to bake a cake for his birthday, he requests chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. She bakes a chocolate cake with

Comments

[the_pinkdress]

The fact that adults are such spoiled babies about things like this (the INNER icing of a birthday cake) explains a lot about the last few years.

~but TECHNICALLY it wasn’t what he asked for~… who cares? Grow tf up.

[weighty_ghost]

I dunno, if I offer to make something as a gift and the person tells me what they want (which is much preferred because making those types of decisions haunts me)... why would I go ahead and change it?

if someone offers to get me a coffee, and i ask for a vanilla latte and they bring me back a mocha latte... like yeah, ok the thought is still nice but its fair to be a little put off by it.

though why adults choose to pick at things like this in front of children is beyond me.

[the_pinkdress]

She didn’t change it, she put one bit of vanilla inside after making chocolate on chocolate. Maybe she just felt like it and didn’t think a grown adult would pout about a strip of icing?

You would really look at that vanilla and feel a kind of way about it instead of just saying ty to someone for making you a cake?

Spoiled, rude, half-raised.

[weighty_ghost]

the filling was vanilla. it wasnt just a piece on top.

i have a friend who hates vanilla cake. if she asked me for a chocolate one, and i filled it with vanilla... thats not a nice gift.

[mzgrottesca]

But he does mention in his post that he likes her vanilla frosting and vanilla cakes. So she had no reason to think he'd suddenly dislike it. It'd be different if he has a known aversion to vanilla.

[glitterslugs]

it's not filled with vanilla tho, there's a vanilla strip in the middle. the whole cake is chocolate except for like 1/8th

[weighty_ghost]

what kind of cakes are you guys having where the filling is only like a mm thick?

[misscrystal]

A normal cake? There is no filling. The guy is literally crying about the little strip of icing between the cake layers being vanilla while the rest of the cake is chocolate.

[booksforlunch]

Yup. He's complaining that the cake glue is vanilla instead of chocolate.

[ionadelfina]

I would consider that filling

[helyanwe89]

A lot of people want a specific birthday cake. If you ordered chocolate cake with chocolate frosting & it also came with vanilla I think a lot of people would be annoyed.

[floatinglately]

i am kinda torn bc i do think she should have just made the cake he asked for but there’s definitely a difference between someone trying to get creative with a requested gift and not receiving the correct order for something you paid money for

[helyanwe89]

But you can be creative all the rest of the time. I do a lot of baking (today I made an apple pie) and it's normally whatever I want to make. I bake cakes for no reason at all - but for a birthday I let the birthday person pick out what they want & then make it. I make my own cake because my family seems unable to make a cake to my satisfaction.

My last birthday was chocolate, peanut butter frosting, ganache & decorated with peanut butter cups. If someone else make it and put vanilla in the middle instead of peanut butter frosting I would not have been happy.

[floatinglately]

i thought about this more and i think there’s a good chance that he said “chocolate cake and chocolate frosting” and meant “only that and nothing else” without specifying, and she thought he meant “at least that, don’t worry about anything else.” like, he was giving specifications but she thought he was giving a minimum, which she met. which would be an unfortunate but common type of misunderstanding where no one is really the bad guy and we can all learn more about our communication styles…. idk i think they both blew it out of proportion but i can’t relate to the guy getting upset about the cake someone baked him! i don’t celebrate my birthday though because i am too insecure to ask my friends to meet me at a bar just because it’s my birthday so like clearly this is a topic where i have baggage that may be blocking my ability to empathize. (but idk also it’s a gift! i have some strong internal norms about gifts i guess lol)

[helyanwe89]

Even with gifts, it's really about knowing the person.

If someone told me chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream that's what they'd get - no ganache, candy, other typrs of cake or frosting in the middle.

[progression]

I’m sorry that you feel that way about your birthday/friends… I hope one day you’re able to realize you’re important to your friends and they’d meet you to celebrate your life!

But, even with said “baggage”, I feel like you’re spot on. It’s miscommunication that was blown out of proportion. Mainly by him, but also the gf saying she wouldn’t make him another cake next year was very dumb, too. If he told her nicely that he wished it was purely chocolate and nothing else, maybe she would’ve even made him another cake!