Joshua Jackson Believes His Absent Dad Helped Him Become the Man He Is Today

[shangri__la]

Joshua Jackson opens up about being the dad he never had to his little girl 💗 Check out his full interview: https://t.co/eOz3g6UVjt pic.twitter.com/xd73Z7y2u3
- The Kelly Clarkson Show (@KellyClarksonTV) May 3, 2023

The whole interviewOn today's session of celebrity therapy, Joshua Jackson talks to Kelly Clarkson about how his absent father

Comments

[teenageriot16]

gather round ONTD, it's oversharing time



my dad is completely absent in my life, he noped out before I was born and I have never met him or had any contact.

it's such a weird experience growing up with literally no reference points for a parent, and I found it easier when I was a kid. as an adult, once my friends started having bbs is when I finally realised how truly awful my dad is.

anyway I have to go to an event in a few months where my dad's sister is going to be (I have never met her either), and apparently she ~regrets~ how I was treated, but also never contacted me, ever.

I don't *think* I have residual trauma from this but it's just weird to think I have a parent who wouldn't even recognise me walking down the street.

overshare over, please feel free to share your similar absent parent stories!

[yankeesarelove]

I'm in your boat sort of- my parents divorced when I was 11 and I saw my dad like three times after that and he eventually passed away 10 years later. but growing up, I never thought that it was super harmful to me or my mental health until I grew up and got a therapist and was like, whoaaa he actually really did mess me up in so many areas of my life.

so TLDR- easier to deal with a crappy parent when you're a kid, until you grow up and realize the actual impact that had and you need years of therapy to sort through it.

[nelisce]

Oh wow, I relate to this a lot. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and I also saw my father just a handful of times after that. Not because he passed away, just because there didn't seem to be any particular interest on either side to keep the relationship going. The few times I did see him he was always more interested in talking about his own life or making subtle digs about my mother, so eventually I just broke off the contact completely since I didn't see the point.

And like you I also never thought that I was affected by it when I was younger (even though I struggled with depression on and off since I was 14). In fact, when my mother first told me that she was divorcing my father I wasn't upset about it since I was always much closer to her anyway. It's only in the past couple of years that I started to realize that some of my mental health issues may be related to him

[yankeesarelove]

im very sorry you went through that- absence can affect as much as constant proximity and that was a really hard thing to grasp/realize the ramifications of!

[anterrabre]

Had a similar experience but actually met him as an adult. I made my peace with it because

1. My mom was the one who ditched him and cut off contact from his family for reasons known only to her, and

2. I hold him no ill will because after meeting him I determined that while I could enjoy him as an adult I would NOT have enjoyed having him raise me a child.

For me, people constantly bemoaning the fact that I didn't have a father figure in my life growing up had more of an effect than my dad actually not being in my life. I might be NC with my mom now but no lie, I had no complaints with her growing up; she worked hard, we had treats besides just getting by and she tried to be there for all of her children so I never really felt a loss except when others would make a big deal out of it.

[teenageriot16]

if you don't mind me asking, what was it like meeting him as an adult?

I'm most likely never going to meet him, but I know when he meet his sister I feel weird about it. I'm a fully formed adult, and the need for parenting or familial connection to that side of the family has long gone.

ty for sharing

[anterrabre]

It was more like I was meeting him as an acquaintance of my mom and a new friend than as a parental figure. It was nice, but there just wasn't any attachment there. Most of all, I'm thankful for him because I also got another grandmother, aunts, uncle, and half-sister out of the deal (who I did love dearly until she got murdered by a drunk driver a few years ago). I think when you're older you have time to reflect, and he was...kinda messy. Fun messy when you're an adult, but not fun at all when you're a child. I'm happy how things turned out.

[lurkurheartout]

Sometimes I think it’s easier for kids that didn’t know their parent than having a half in half out parent. My parents were married and my dad would do nothing with me outside sports. I felt so abandon and we lived in the same house. It only got worse when they got divorced.

[teenageriot16]

I completely agree, I had no expectations or hopes to be broken.

I'm so sorry you went through that experience with your dad, it must have been so isolating.

[ty]

As someone who was in the sister situation above, sometimes we are blocked from contacting. Maybe give her some grace until you know the whole story.

[teenageriot16]

tell me more?

I obviously struggle to extend any benefit of the doubt to her.

[bellwetherr]

not the op but i went no contact with my dad when i was in my early 20s because of million different reasons but i had two half siblings who were really young and i tried to keep in contact but my dad and his wife never returned my calls, never relayed my cards/gifts/etc. and eventually called and told me and my brother to stay away from them

and my dad was a pretty scary guy so we backed off

it was 8 years before i figured out how to move past that and contact my now teenage siblings and we've been working out how to have a relationship now for the last couple of years

family dynamics suck, you never know whats going on

[britt_m_89]

My parents divorced when I was 4 or 5 and haven't seen my dad since. He had another daughter in 2017 and he's walked out on her too.

[teenageriot16]

omg I sometimes panic about the day that a potential half-sibling contacts me.

if you don't mind sharing, did you meet his other daughter?

[mishane]

OMG I have like 7 half siblings (2 of them have contacted me on FB but I don't really speak to them). I haven't met any of them IRL and think it would be weird - my story is that my much older biological father took advantage of my much younger mother while he was married and one of my half sisters is like actually my mom's age, it's SO WEIRD.

The 2 half-siblings that contacted me definitely wanted to start a relationship and I FB messaged them a few times but since they live in a whole different country, the communication was really stilted and I honestly didn't see the point in continuing contact.

[britt_m_89]

I have not. I don't even know if she knows I exist.