ONTD Reading Challenge: Adrien Brody Gets His Ass Washed
Happy November! The penultimate reading challenge of 2022 is themed around the iconic post, Adrien Brody gets his crotch washed by gf on a yacht by the onesilkstocking. To commemorate this legendary post, let us read some books themed around Adrien Brody getting his ass washed. Why? Don't ask stupid questions.
I Need A New Butt
Dawn McMillan
It's a good thing that Adrien's girlfriend at the time, Lara Lieto, was able to wash his butt good enough that he didn't have to get a new one. If his old butt had been ruined, he might have needed I Need A New Butt. I haven't read it, but presumably it is about acquiring a new butt when your old one gets dirty on a yacht.
Also, don't miss the thrilling sequel, I Broke My Butt.
Blackass
A. Igoni Barrett
Blackass is a boundary-pushing novel about a Black man who wakes up one day to realize that he has become white. Author A. Igoni Barrett won critical acclaim for his satirical and comical talent. One man who did not have satirical and comical talent was Adrien Brody when he went on Saturday Night Live in a dreadlock wig and a fake Jamaican accent. Maybe Adrien thought that he was a Black man who woke up white?
One of the longest running myths surrounding SNL is that this moment was completely unplanned and Adrian Brody was banned from the show because of it. That’s all completely false. Adrian did the exact same thing in dress rehearsal. As stupid as it is, this was supposed to happen. https://t.co/3FamROsDRE
- That Week In SNL (@ThatWeekInSNL) October 7, 2021
Life of Pi
Yann Martel
Life of Pi takes place on a boat and involves an insufferably annoying protagonist, just like Adrien Brody is. Guess you could call it...Life of Pi(anist).
The Crack-Up
F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Crack-Up tells the tale of Fitzgerald's plummet from massive success to obscurity. Afterward, he became a legendary writer, which mirrors Brody's meteoric rise and fall to C-list status, then transcendence to a sort of permanent internet meme. Guess you could also call it... The Buttcrack-Up.
The Man In The High Castle
Phillip K. Dick
Remember when Adrien was dating Elsa Pataky, who is now Chris Hemsworth's wife, and they lived in a castle in some random-ass place? In honor of that moment in history, you can read The Man In The High Castle, a classic novel by Phillip K. Dick.
The Pianist
Władysław Szpilman
If you felt like taking this reading challenge seriously and felt like reading an actual piece of literature, you could read the memoir by Władysław Szpilman, whose time as a pianist in a concentration camp in Poland was the inspiration for Brody's Oscar-winning performance in The Pianist. But, come on, what a bummer.
Unicorn Butt Cops: Beach Patrol
Chuck Tingle
Let us end the list with an author whose reputation is as honorable as Adrien Brody's: Chuck Tingle. You can read this sexy erotic romance about butt cops who patrol the beach for butts. Just as Adrien's girlfriend is patrolling his butt -- truly, she is a unicorn.
This month's post is late and short because [spoiler]I'm a lazy piece of shit.
Read the previous ONTD reading challenges.
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