Reese Witherspoon Says She Didn't Have a 'Lot of Support' as a First-Time Mom

[hewontgo]

"It's not a one-person job," says @ReeseW of being a new parent. "I would even say it's not a two-person job." https://t.co/J9uHTC9cQw
- TooFab (@TooFab) August 31, 2021
Reese Witherspoon was just 23 years old when she became a wife and a mother in a very short span

Comments

[marzipanism]

Ryan Philipe being a POS aside

I strongly agree with parenting not being a two people job. That saying, it takes a village, really says it all Imo.

I know in the US the culture isn't like that but in most other cultures raising kids is a family thing. Like grandparents helping out. Aunts, uncles. Close friends. Etc. We're not meant to go through this shit on our own.

[sandstorm]

know in the US the culture isn't like that

What are you talking about? We have gofundme's for medical care all the time!

/s

But seriously, you're right, we're a mess.

[syvlie0o0]

I know in the US the culture isn't like that but in most other cultures raising kids is a family thing.

Huh? Everyone has their families help out. The only constraint is distance. Some people don't live near any of their family members and may not have friends who can help. I don't know a single person who hasn't had help from families, especially with newborns.

[evilgerbil]

My parents are older and have mobility issues, I'm an only child, and neither my husband nor I have other relatives within 1000 miles. So that's that.

[sarahvma]

I think there's a difference between driving to your parents' place to help out and everyone living under the same roof and providing a sense of constant companionship and community.

[fromyourashes]

this shit here in the states drives me crazy. my father's puerto rican but they all came to the states when they were young and have that same mentality of "at 18, you're out in one way or another" but i'm here with my sons like - "we don't have much space but you can all live here until you're elderly. bring the wives, the kids, the cousins, idgaf," bc WHY TF NOT SAVE MONEY AND HELP EACH OTHER OUT??

i had a shit childhood which was why i wound up with 3 sons with 3 different fathers, none of whom helped. i've been a single mom ALWAYS. my family didn't really help at all. like - at all. so i'll be damned if my sons (or their prospective significant others) ever feel alone or helpless. that's not how to help your family succeed, and isn't that the point of even HAVING a family? to help each other feel better, do better, be better?

sorry, you got my "just finished my first cup of strong coffee" rant

[sarahvma]

I'm really sorry that you've gone through this, but I'm so glad that you're working to break the cycle with your own kids. I agree -- I can't imagine just tossing my kid out on her ass because she's passed some arbitrary deadline.

[fromyourashes]

there were been moments when my oldest was 15-16 and we were going AT it and i would randomly think about how he'd be 18 and i'd have to kick him out to save my own sanity tbh. i'm so glad we worked through that shit bc kids at 18 have no business being alone out there, no matter how grown their parents think they are. my parents routinely kicked me out and sent me back and forth and i look at my sons like - how tf?? how can you just put them out there like that lol. idg some people at ALL

[sihaya09]

Hi, now you do.

My parents work full time and are/were raising their adopted son, who is their biological grandson/my nephew, a toddler at the time. I totally understand why they did not have much time to help me. My husband's family were busy being extra parents to my SIL's two (then 6 mos and 2 years) because her shitty husband left her while she was pregnant with the younger. I nearly died the week after I gave birth from complications and I was thankful and grateful that they were able to scrape it together so someone could be with my son at home while my husband advocated for me at the hospital, but after that, we were on our own. Like it or not, we were "more stable" than either of the parents of our niblings, so we were not the priority.

[fromyourashes]

not my family. i know a lot of moms who might be married or single but are all basically single moms. everyone you know seems lucky and should count their blessings.

[marzipanism]

It's the culture of having your kids move out at 18 and then putting your elderly parents in a retirement home that I'm referring to.

[acidosaur]

they're being obtuse about cultural differences, it was clear what you meant.

[acidosaur]

the nuclear family is a bigger thing in Western cultures, as is that family living apart from one another. in so many other cultures families live together under one roof - several generations at once. that's really not the same as the U.S. and parenting is definitely seen as more of a parents-only job.

for example, in many countries the grandparents will parent almost full time so that parents can still work.

[coralphish]

Hi! Nice to meet you! I have no help from family.

[sarahvma]

Yeah, the western obsession with everyone owning their own single family home has really run everyone into the ground tbh. Take care of your elderly parents (unless they're awful) and they can help take care of your kids... everyone's happy.