The Cruel Lie of "Friends"

[ellie_andrews]

The average US adult moves 11.7 times and changes jobs around 12 times in their lifetimes.

Surveys find that millennials in particular are lonelier than they’ve ever been.

Adult friendships don't happen the way they do on TV, and that's perfectly normal. https://t.co/TFImuKUucs
- Vox (@voxdotcom) May 28, 2021
** we've long understood that tv & movies

Comments

[nigelwitthebrie]

I am 36 years old and I literally have no friends..."work friends" don't really count cuz we are forced to get along with each through professionalism and HR lol.....yeah FRIENDS definitely sold us a fairy tale of adult friendships

[sarahvma]

I definitely don't consider "work friends" friends unless we hang out outside of work.

[nigelwitthebrie]

Same. Like if we don't hang outside of work then you are nothing more than basically a co-existence of my work habitat.

[messfortwo]

I used to hang out with them outside of work and I still wouldn't call them my friends lol, more like acquaintances.

[bossm]

I have to say that I love my coworkers. They’re like family to me because we talk so much at work but we never spend any free time together so I wouldn’t ever count them as friends.

[megalixer]

yeah, I have real friendships that started out as work friendships - but there is still a very clear line in my head between "friends that I met at work" and "work friends" lol

[cosmic_starz]

One of my closest friends was initially a work buddy, but we started hanging out after work pretty soon after we met at work. We clicked right away.. it was fun.

[zeldazonked]

Even then...

[a_files06]

The Friends gang were all friends w/each other from high school (minus Joey/Phoebe) to college some connected by being roommates. It was fairly realistic in that aspect imo. I met friends through other friendes.

[sarahvma]

Yeah, my husband lived in the same house until he was 24 and is still friends with the kids he went to kindergarten with. I feel like that's the only way to have a big gang of the same friends in your 30s.

[bossm]

I loved in three countries. It’s like magic seeing people spending all their life in the same city and knowing people for all your life.

[elderpricely]

Yeah, my core friend group from *junior high is still close ~20 years later. The most unrealistic part of Friends to me is that they all kept living in the same place for that long. Though that might be more doable with the opportunities in NYC compared to small towns.

[nigelwitthebrie]

Yeah college....but some people like me who didn't go to college until late 20s or early 30s is harder to make connections or make friends.

I noticed its easier to make friends while you are in college between the ages of 19-25....

[senshicalico]

It was easier in many ways but I'm not friends with a single one of those besties to this day ten years later.

I get what you mean, though. My partner is 35 and finishing her degree basically starting from the bottom and albeit she's online, there's no way for her to make friends like I did to at least have companionship during school.

[nigelwitthebrie]

True...plus for late college bloomers, adult students are more their to get a degree and concentrate on a career, whereas their younger counterparts are not quite sure what they wanna do once they graduate and are treating college just like high school...ie just a social hang out until some life something falls into their lap.

[pseudonygma]

I don't consider "work friends" as friends at all. They're just people I happen to get along with. I don't think you can truly be friends with someone if both your money, career, and reputation are on the line. You may be friendly now but what happens when one of you gets a promotion and becomes the supervisor of the department? It's bound to change the nature of the friendship because of power dynamics so are you really friends to begin with?

I do believe in advocating for "work friends" when they deserve and earned it but otherwise, it's probably healthier in the long run to keep a healthy distance when it comes to your respective life outside of work.