I don't really understand trying to have a baby when you're not in a stable relationship with anyone but good for her if she's happy. It's not like she can't afford to raise a kid on her own but that sucks for the kid if the father ends up not being involved.
Eh, I was raised by a single mom. It had its issues, but she made the choice to have me despite not wanting to be with my father anymore (who she'd only been dating for a few months).
She did okay moneywise and had help from my grandma, so things worked out. it's fucking hard, honestly, even if you have an airtight marriage and decent maternity leave. But with her resources she can have a night nanny and other support that lower-income people don't.
I mean, so many women in stable relationships with men end up saddled with the burden of childcare and housework. Actually, in one of the most eye-opening studies about this issue, researchers found that single mothers get more sleep and spend less time on housework than their married counterparts. It's actually quite sensible for women who want to be mothers to find a supportive network of women to help them raise their children.
Interesting! That makes sense, thanks for sharing! I guess I'm just projecting because I don't see myself wanting children unless I find someone I actually want to raise kids with if that makes sense.
Oh, for sure. Single parenting is definitely not a walk in the park. I just wish we had better supports for parents instead of telling women they should get married before having children. Like, that is clearly not a solution to the difficulties of parenting and clearly just adds more work if you're married to a man!
Good luck! I know people can be judgmental as hell, but we live in a culture that makes parenting and marriage hard on women. Print this study out and throw copies of it at people and tell them to keep their funky opinions to themselves. Or give you money for childcare if they're gonna judge!!!
Honestly, unless you have an amazing partner I think there are aspects of being a single mom that are easier -- like not arguing over every parenting decision.
Also, people are judgmental about literally every single decision people make when it comes to parenting. Just do what works for you.
the more i see kids who grew up with single moms over the last 20 years grow up to be much better adults than kids who grew up with ~~fathers~~ in the picture, the more i'm convinced it was some deadbeat dad who started up all this "single moms raise shitty kids" scheme.
yeah, it's harder, but all the best young adults i know (which sounds creepy, but my sons are 22, 20, and 18, and i'm referring to all their friends) came from so-called broken families or families where the father was mostly absent. i only know 1 family where the father was not only present, but a GOOD dad, and their kids are amazing, yes. but -
I guess I was more thrown because the commented made it sound like she was trying to have a baby with any one of her various bfs which seems kinda reckless when you can just adopt or use a donor and not worry about a dude trying to be involved later if you don’t want him to be.
Boris Johnson is literally a deadbeat dad who once went on a rant about single mothers. It's absolutely something that men who think they deserve a trophy just for showing up try to claim.
Nothing against you but I think there's a lot of society brain washing that a childhood is somehow deficient if you don't have a male and a female parental figure involved in your life. Which is bull (and homophobic).
WHAT.
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She did okay moneywise and had help from my grandma, so things worked out. it's fucking hard, honestly, even if you have an airtight marriage and decent maternity leave. But with her resources she can have a night nanny and other support that lower-income people don't.
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Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6560646/
TL:DR summary: https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/05/single-moms-fewer-chores-free-time-married.html
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Also, people are judgmental about literally every single decision people make when it comes to parenting. Just do what works for you.
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yeah, it's harder, but all the best young adults i know (which sounds creepy, but my sons are 22, 20, and 18, and i'm referring to all their friends) came from so-called broken families or families where the father was mostly absent. i only know 1 family where the father was not only present, but a GOOD dad, and their kids are amazing, yes. but -
single moms out here making good kids.
(most) men not needed tbh.
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