To celebrate yet another accolade for Fetch The Bolt Cutters as Metacritic chose it as the album of the year, here is a ranking of Fiona Apple's top 10 singles according to the chaos I chose today for myself.
10. Shadowboxer from Tidal (1997) Any Fiona Apple music ranking will be tricky because it is all amazing, but her debut single was not as big as her later releases. The lyrics say everything you wanted to say when you were an angsty teen, but there was so much more to recover. Fiona once said that she used to play this song for herself a lot before releasing and it gave her a rush because she thought it sounded good, however she said that since then she stopped playing the songs for herself. The music video could have been so much better, also. Howard Stern saw this being performed live at his show, which he did not deserve because he is GROSS.
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9. Paper Bag from When the Pawn.. (1999) Fiona's second album was extraordinary, but the long title stole the thunder of the actual record, according to her. Fiona explained that the song came to her as she was sitting sulking in a car when she saw what appeared to be a white dove in the sky, which sent her in a high of optimism, but it was just a plastic bag, so she dropped again. The lead single was a change from her debut album singles, much more upbeat and fast singing, but it was this single that did it for me, also a switch in the music video she did where she appears dancing with children. Camila Cabello desperately tried a music video in the same location, God help her.
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8. Shameika from Fetch The Bolt Cutters (2020) It's a shame this is the only single from the album, but the backstory of Fiona reconnecting with Shameika after this release is so precious, it gives the song an extra push. The lyrics show Fiona reminiscing about the hardships she endured in school being bullied, but also the encouragement she received from a schoolmate Shameika telling her she had potential. They both collaborated on a sort of spin off of the song sung by Shameika. I wish the gays could have a beautiful relationship like this as acquaintances, but I like being canceled.
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7. Criminal from Tidal (1997) I know, I know. Criminal is her biggest hit and how dare me. Well, as far as I'm concerned this is what the general public, a.k.a, locals believe to be her best song, but this is just her most famous one and I feel not her most authentic. Story goes she wrote this song in like 15 min after her label complaining there was no hit in her debut album, and boom! It's like that Rihanna gif where she hands a bunch of cash to a man with such disdain and attitude. I did that never because my college loan bill is humongous, and so is my butt.
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6. Get Him Back from Extraordinary Machine (2005) Now, there was no music video for this, but Wikipedia says it was a single and if I believe men, why would I not believe Wikipedia? Wikipedia would never cheat on me or ghost me, or tell me he was never going to leave, well he is a liar and he did leave. More importantly (?), this is, according to Fiona, a bird's eye view of her relationships and everything that went wrong with them. She said she changed the ending to give it a positive change by wanting the guy back. I want my pre covid life back.
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5. Across The Universe from Pleasantville OST (1999) This is not a song from any of her albums, altough it was included as a bonus track to When The Pawn, but it is such a beautiful cover it makes The Beatles look like Justin Bieber, which deeply pleases me. No, not like that, pervert. Also, the music video is SO good, yet it has not been uploaded to her official channel which when you click on shows no videos?! What is life even?
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4. Pure Imagination, a non-album single from 2012. I know, another cover that is not even on any album. Well, deal with it. This may be one of those songs that may be too obscure for the general public to know, because it is not even on any streaming platform, but it is in mine because I downloaded it illegally and put it on my Spotify as Local Files playlist. She said she was very unsure about doing this cover because she believed the original version was so good, it could not be beat. I think it did, what do you think? Do you like me?
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3. Every Single Night from The Idler Wheel... (2012) Top 3, gays and women! This is where it got hard for me to choose, because this was such a change from her previous lead singles, and the album may be her best for me. I also, believe this is her most beautiful music video. The music box ticking, (is that how you say it?)is heaven to me. Lena Dunham quoted these lyrics in a Girls episode, and I can't even. It is imposible to can.
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2. Never is a Promise from Tidal (1997) Throwback! I was busy pretending I was Victoria Beckham to notice this song back then, but wow. I mean the lyrics say EVERYTHING. I think her eloquence has always been her greatest asset. It is a beautiful music video, too, where she is seen walking and flying in New York City. Remember walking? I don't.
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1. Sleep To Dream from Tidal (1997) I sort of did not have a problem choosing this as her best single to date. I feel like it should have been her debut single, and in my head it is. The anger, the drums, the whimsical music video, THE LYRICS, etc... I love how she is so sure of herself and who the other person is and has no quarrels to speak her mind. One time a guy asked me out on a date repeatedly but I wasn't sure, one day he was so persistent, I said yes, even though I was super sick. As we were sitting on a bench, he stopped talking in mid sentence, as I was feeling at my worst, and he complained I wasn't listening so he left. I deserve an Oscar for that.
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Honorable Mention: Fast as You Can, because it is so fun to sing and not breathe.
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