If you don't insist on a white infant, adoption isn't that expensive. My husband and I just finished all of our training and we spent <$500 and the state will pay us monthly until she's 18 + free in state tuition at any public university. Most states welcome parents of any type because the need is so large.
If you're trained by a nonprofit adoption agency and adopt from a kid who is currently in permanent state custody, it isn't expensive at all. We paid $30 for fire extinguishers, $110 for a health department inspection, $100 for a fire marshal inspection, $50 for background checks, $50 for CPR/First Aid/AED, $50 for TB tests, and $40 for medication safes. Everything else has been free and provided by the agency.
The cost comes in if you're wanting a white infant/newborn not in state care. That's when you're going through a for-profit agency (usually) and paying tens of thousands to put yourself on a list of prospective parents to be chosen by some hard-up youth who doesn't know what their other options are. There's nothing great about adoption - I'm going to love my kid fiercely but she had to go through hell to even end up in a position to become my kid - but the exploitative nature of the highly expensive infant adoptions is just appalling to me.
our infant (he's 7 and a half months now) would be parented sooo differently if I were a single mom. Y'now what's harder than momming? Not working, and telling yourself you're still worth a lot.
I grew up watching (and loving) Gilmore Girls, I always kinda fancied that single-mom struggle/freedom
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The cost comes in if you're wanting a white infant/newborn not in state care. That's when you're going through a for-profit agency (usually) and paying tens of thousands to put yourself on a list of prospective parents to be chosen by some hard-up youth who doesn't know what their other options are. There's nothing great about adoption - I'm going to love my kid fiercely but she had to go through hell to even end up in a position to become my kid - but the exploitative nature of the highly expensive infant adoptions is just appalling to me.
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but, hypothetically
our infant (he's 7 and a half months now) would be parented sooo differently if I were a single mom. Y'now what's harder than momming? Not working, and telling yourself you're still worth a lot.
I grew up watching (and loving) Gilmore Girls, I always kinda fancied that single-mom struggle/freedom
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