Diane von Furstenberg’s dating advice: It’s ‘not cute to be needy’

[hewontgo]

Diane von Furstenberg’s dating advice: It’s ‘not cute to be needy’ https://t.co/zsLpdAU9r1 pic.twitter.com/4lXOXztxnu
- Page Six (@PageSix) July 22, 2019
The fashion designer discussed how to be single

Comments

[xtinkerbellax]

Yea on one hand I don't think you should wait around for someone else to pursue you or ask you out but on the other, if the guy isn't even putting in effort in the beginning its only downhill from there lol

[oh_ilikethat]

I couldn’t agree more. I used to think it was super gendered when my mom would tell me that I need to allow myself to be chased, but the older I get the more I realize that men have never ever ever had a problem with practically catapulting themselves at women they’re interested in.If you’re a straight woman, allowing yourself to be chased is in your best interest 99% of the time.

It’s genuinely not even worth it to put yourself out there for a guy that flirts with you a lot. I did this twice and it backfired. If he’s not finding an excuse to spend time with you he’s not actually interested

[msbombtastic]

yeah :/ I hate that feeling, but it does feel like the most agency you have is being as "approachable" as possible if there's a guy you have your eye on.

I think there are some exceptions, like if a man truly believes he is out of the woman's league, he won't bother, but that's about it. And even then, that's rare because men will find ways of convincing themselves they are closer to her league than they are LOL.

[galaxized]

I hate that feeling, but it does feel like the most agency you have is being as "approachable" as possible if there's a guy you have your eye on.

lmao this is so true but i struggle with being unapproachable / too closed off so much :(

[epicdonald]

I hate that this is how it is on multiple levels as a woman. Not just because I feel like I should be able to say "hey if you wanna get together and [do X activity] some time let me know!" without striking fear into the hearts of men. But also because men think they're entitled to pursue you just because they want to and because you're....there. And they'll just ignore all signs you're not interested until it gets uncomfortable (or even sometimes dangerous).

It needs to be a give and take, and I really shouldn't have to worry about my male coworkers thinking I come into work every day just to give them a chance to hit on me.

[la_geni]

I met the most painfully shy guy in the world and trust and believe this is true af.

[msbombtastic]

Yup. I hate to buy into the idea, but it feels true. If a guy is interested, they'll find some way to let it be known

[namae_nai]

lol yeah. i learnt it the hard way.

[spellmanian]

Men legitimately have NO problem showing interest in a woman they like so like, if they aren't already showing it I feel like it's pointless. I don't want to ~further gender roles~ or anything but men have been socialized that way and I'm not gonna throw myself at some guy who I literally know doesn't like me.

Women on the other hand...... whew you ain't ever gonna know if she likes you

[thinkweism]

lmao i agree with this but i guess my ex was one of those exceptions because i had a crush on him for 7 years (on/off, but mostly on and pining after him as my tutor) and had to finally blurt out "hey, i think you're really cute and i like you" for him to finally ask me out and show me he had been interested for the past two years.

[msbombtastic]

LOL yup. Def a lot of social constructs involved, also I feel like men naturally have less of a filter or self-monitoring (maybe that's purely socially driven as well lol) idk but I feel like women will analyze things and consider a lot of diff factors before they make a move. And men are just like, "oh, she's hot, I'm going to talk to her."

[simprov]

yep. i don't wanna follow all these antiquated dating gender roles but guys do, even if they sit and complain about making the first move. if they're interested, they're gonna work for it. and if you find yourself doing most of it, they're probs not that into you. its such bullshit!

[invinouvae]

Some things are so ingrained it's impossible to ever change it.
But i honestly don't like chasing or being chased in the sense of him putting in so much effort while i don't do anything. Both sides should show interest and put in effort but if one person is clearly not showing any or only the bare minimum, cut your losses.

[showmesara]

eeeeexactly! I live in Denmark, and here, if I ever even get a match on dating apps, I HAVE to be the one initiating conversation constantly, because otherwise the guys will not write at all. It might just be because it's me, but why the hell then match with me if you're not even going to have a convo?