Director Duncan Jones admits parenting sucks

[toddies]

I have 2 kids. 2 1/2 years & 9 months old respectively.
I’ll tell you something I never see anyone admit... they are exhausting, frustrating & life-destabilizing. They are rarely fun. Sure, smiles are great, hugs are lovely, but it’s HARD & not obviously a good choice in life.
- Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) January 12, 2019

Director Duncan Jones -

Comments

[ms_mmelissa]

I’ll tell you something I never see anyone admit... they are exhausting, frustrating & life-destabilizing.

... Maybe it's because I hang out in women centric spaces but I hear women talking about this ALL the time, especially since they go through so much emotionally and physically when they have kids and the majority of childcare gets dumped on them even when they go back to work.

Anyway I hope he and his wife can get some support. It seems tough, I definitely don't envy parents.

[colossusx]

i see women post things like "no one ever talks about this" when it comes to how hard being a mother is constantly so it sounds like it depends on what circles you run in

[veal]

I feel like not enough people talk about how it can change your marriage too. My husband and I don’t have the time for each other that we had before kids and that’s hard! I’m hoping it gets better when they get a little older and less demanding of our attention at all times.

[tigermilk]

I was thinking something similar - I read mommy blogs and other than "no one ever talks about how hard it is to be married, marriage is hard", I read "no one ever talks about how hard it is to have kids, kids are hard" the most.

[keskt]

It depends because I think also women still get shamed and/or feel enormous guilt if they try and talk about it because it's supposed to be every woman's ~dream and ultimate purpose to be a mother. Whereas I feel it's more accepted for men to talk about it- maybe not on a deep level but for example "jokes" about how they don't get as much sex when their wife has had a baby are common/accepted, etc.

[allybally12345]

Exactly. It definitely does get talked about...but only in secret, because it's still not really socially acceptable for a parent (especially a mother) to not loooove every single aspect of being a parent.

I recently read an article where a therapist said stressed-out mothers were the most common patients she dealt with and that most of the time they just needed a hobby or time away from their kids so they could be something more than just 'mother', and soooo many people in the comments were horrified at the mere thought of a mother having a hobby or going on a vacation that didn't revolve around her kids!

[whysogayprop8]

Are we truly supposed to feel sorry for these adult's decision to have children?

We all know what to expect when having children.

Cry me a river people. Cry. Me. A. River.

[j___adore]

idk. i got my first dog ever this summer and it threw me into a terrible depression because i truly didn't realize what having one on my own would be like -_- dumb as fuck for sure but i really didn't know.

[elktrail]

Yeah - I got a dog two years ago and actually cried for two weeks and was horribly depressed? It sounds absolutely ridiculous to type out loud but people get "post puppy/post adoption depression" and it's shit. I CANNOT even imagine what it would be like to have a kid.

[j___adore]

yesssssssssssssssss. see, i didn't want to say it. but yeah, after like 6 months i'm slowly coming out of that :[ how did you deal? did you have help?

[elktrail]

It honestly took awhile, and I actually went on the puppy101 reddit! I made a post asking for some moral support, and found other people who were struggling with the same BS. It really helped! Plus, once he started learning things and "getting" things, it became more encouraging and less hopeless.

Honestly, looking back now (and I am obsessed with my dog) if I had the choice again, I wouldn't get a dog. It puts alot of restrictions on your life, and you constantly have to plan around it. I think that was the main thing that was such a shock to the system, at first. It's a huge commitment and your life is immediately changed.

And ffs, I'm only talking about a dog - not a human I've created.

[hello_samm]

[whysogayprop8]

Those ASPCA commercials got you gurl!!

In the arrrmmss offf an angelll..

[j___adore]

LOL NAW.

[mwffj]

Except not? Up until very very recently, admitting you were anything other than thrilled to be a parent was taboo. If you were a woman, you were instantly labeled as having post-partum depression. And hell, PPD didn't even become a mainstream idea until after Andrea Yates drowned her 5 kids in a bathtub in 2001.