ONTD Original™: The Videos We Deserved, But Never Got
Time and again we've fallen in love with a song and have inevitably built up that song to not only be asuccessful single, but to have an iconic video... Unfortunately, more often than not, we've been disappointed when the single performs well, but ends up getting a terrible video treatment.
The following is a list of songs in recent memory whose videos, in my opinion, ended up being less than spectacular:
Taylor Swift - Style
From the Miami Vice-esque feel, to the explosive chorus, many, OP included, considered this to be La Diabla Blanca's best song ever.... ('All Too Well' is a close second, come at me.) We all thought it would go straight to number one, and give her her third straight #1 from 1989.... Oh, how wrong we were.
Click to viewWhat it should've been: Well, since La Diabla Blanca sings about dat "James Dean day dream" look in her lover's eyes, many of us expected this video to be IT. I'm talking taking a cue from Paula Abdul's 'A Rebel Without a Cause' themed music video for 'Rush, Rush'. (BECAUSE JAMES DEAN WAS IN ARWAC!!!!)
Swift in dat white dress?
What we got: Tumblr: The Greatest Hits.
Everything from double exposures:
To Sergio-level wall touching:
Ariana Grande - Into You (or any video of hers as of late)
Touted as AG's (I'm an AG too, holla,) best song to date (IG most commercial, idk,) there was some buzz surrounding this video, and how great it was supposed to be.... And, yet again, we were dissappointed.
What it should've been: I've mentioned this a couple times, she should've done a 3 (or 4) part video, starting with Dangerous Woman.
It should've started with her as DW (bunny eared superhero,) kicking ass and taking names, then transitioned into her as her Ari in the beginning of the video for Into You.
The video would start with heavy breathing, her being captivated by some guy (or gworl) in the audience, and the video being about her tracking him down, only to find out he's a villain, which would transition into Leave Me Lonely.
In Leave Me Lonely, she (as DW (now I have Arthur's sister in my head and the imagery is hilarious)) has to choose between loving the villain or capturing him or slaying him or we. Finally, Touch It.
In Touch It, after slaying the villain, she realizes ha love fa him, and the end.
What we got: Her and that ANTM contestant not doing much somewhere out near Joshua Tree.
Katy Perry - Birthday
Who can forget the first time they listend to 'Birthday' only to freak out when Katy Hudson whispers "Happy Birthday" at the end of this song? No? Nobody? I guess I'm the only one who screamed during their morning jog... Anyway...
What it should've been: The lyrics basically gave you the video ("big balloons", "birthday suit", etc)... Seeing as how Ms. Hudson was all about ~imagery, up to that point... We all thought we'd get her at her cheekiest, and... Yet....
What we got: Katy dressed up as:
The Titanic Lady:
This mess:
This clown:
Idk what this is:
And Princess Mandee:
David Guetta - Hey Mama (ft. Afrojack, Bebe Rexha and Nicki Minaj)
This song was EVERYWHERE last summer. It was infectious, annoying, bop-able, and a firm reminder that Nicki always keeps her na-na real sweet for the eating.
What it should've been: Honestly, anything would've been better than the half assed Mad Max/Wacky Races/Nicki hologram we got.
What we got: David Guetta looking as lost as Helen Keller at Walmart.
A shitty Nicki Minaj hologram... I guess carrier rates do apply, and your data plan sucks, David.
And some weird.... Love story? Idk...
Ariana Grande, Jessie J, and Nicki Minaj - Bang, Bang
Hailed as the 'Lady Marmalade' of the 2010's, 'Bang, Bang' features two of the best vocalists in the game: Ariana Grande, and, noted bisexual chanteuse, Jessie J... With a short feature from Nicki Minaj.
What it should've been: Honestly, with all the baseball references in the lyric and the fact that, individually, this trio of ladies is often said to "run" things and be "in a league of their own", the video should've paid homage to "A League of Their Own". Ariana in a cute little jersey? Jessie J knocking the ball out of the park before her high note? Hell, Ari and Nicki have ties to Madonna... She could've made a cameo. Such a missed opportunity, imo.
What we got: A waste of money... I really don't have any other words for it. They end up on a roof top... I don't get it. Suddenly The Koons is Hannah Lux Davis, I guess.
Fifth Harmony - All In My Head (Flex) ft. Fetty Wap
This. Is. My. MFin'. Jam.... And I'm pissed at the video we got for it.
What it should've been: Personally, I feel as though this was a huge missed opportunity for their team to show the girls' personalities. It should've started off on a makeshift boat with Fetty Wap as the captain, and the girls as the crew. The boat is shipwrecked, they wake up and wander around an island. By the time Lauren's hook starts, they'll have stumbled upon a tribe of dancers, much like in the vein of BMA performance. Obviously, 5H would play both the tribe and the crew of the ship. Fun ensues, choreo is on point, Camilla falls in love with haself, and the video ends with Aly waking up and shaking her head like, "that's silly." Boom. Cute video.
What we got: The oversexualization of a girl group, whose youngest member is barely over 19.
Like... Why is Dinah wearing a Pamela Anderson-style suit? Am I the only one who cringed?
This gratuitous shot:
Then, I want to know who thought it'd be cute to give one of the only segments of choreo in the video to Camilla's guacamole ass self (because they charge you extra for it at Chipotle)...
However, we did get this jem out of this entire ordeal, and, for that, I am thankful:
Taylor Swift - Out of The Woods
Shocking that LDB would be a repeat offender, but much like Nicki and Ariana, TSwizzle, more often than not, has lackluster videos.
What it should've been: Without giving her too much credit, this song brings up memories that I'd rather not deal with, but thanks to LDB, I'm forced to face. I feel as though the video should've reflected that. Perhaps it could've been her walking around her house, and moments before she enters the room, her and her "ex" could be cuddling or dancing, or whatever, and as she walks in, the "light" the memory had filed the room with, vanishes leaving only her and the "darkness". The desperation would build up, until she found herself in the woods where her and her "ex" (Hi, Harry!) had their accident. The video would end with her tossing the necklace away, ala Titanic.
What we got: The entire video just seems... Eyeroll inducing, tbh. Taylor stop trying to be ~edgy and ~fierce. You're not... Case in point:
Girl, why you cliff diving?
What is this face even? It's clear Camilla attends the Taylor Swift School of Guac.
And not her appropraiting West Texan weather.... hmmmmTTTT.
Becky G - Break a Sweat
This bop got me through cardio and legs so many times... I am forever in Becky's debt.... And I was so sad when I saw the video.
What it should've been: With a title like 'Break a Sweat' I imagined this is when we'd FINALLY see Becky G just bust out and Tinashe all of us... Perhaps it could've been about her embodying different careers a la Stacie Orrico in 'More to Life'. But... No.
What we got: The question from the beginning has been... Can Becky G dance? Surely, the Yellow Ranger can dance right? Right?! Okay, so that may have been jsut me asking that... REGARDLESS! This video did not shit to answer that question. Sure, we got stutters of her doing choreo:
Then, she gets transported to the land of floating purple ice cream and jewelry...?
We're treated to a few more ~moments of her dancing:
But no uncut footage of her doing the choreo...
And the choreo looks cute! Ugh. A mess. Moving on....
Tyga - Doped Up
Okay, so I'll be honest... I just threw this one in here because... I looked up "disappointing music videos" and this one kept coming up...
What it should've been: This song should've never been made, so.... I have nothing to add here.
What we got: A half assed attempt at remaking 'Thriller', and, future EGOT, Kylie Jenner's acting. The latter of which is the only noteworthy part of this travesty.
Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea - Pretty Girls
Not gonna lie here either... I didn't care for the music video, but damn... I did catch myself singing this song randomly all over the place, especially after that BMA '15 performance she did in the body suit... YAS, Brit!
What it should've been: I mean, the "Earth Girls Are Easy" concept could've been cute had it been executed better. It was a like a disappointing Grindr/Craigslist hook up... You think you're getting a solid 8, but then a 6 shows up, and only does the work of a 4. That's men for ya. I digress... It should've just been a cute, simple video. Nothing flashy, nothing.... Well, like what they did. Hell, she should've had her boys in it, and turned it into a whole campaign... Like, "pretty doesn't just mean on the outside," or something white like that.
What we got: Yes, the "EGAE" concept was cute, but in attempt to make it a ~moment, as Mariah would say... They got way in over their heads and just... Did the least by doing the most.
This alone would've been cute:
With some of this:
Source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
OP Note: My first ONTD original! I hope it's okay! Mods, I think I did the cut right... I'm not sure.
ONTD, did I miss any videos?