Hollywood, being the sausage fest that we all know and love, likes to turn a blind eye to anything that might interfere with the cash flow.
Let's drink some tea, shall we?
1. Charlie Sheen
What happened? This quintessential Hollywood bad boy is no stranger to domestic abuse allegations. Sheen shot his fiancée Kelly Preston in 1990, but claimed this had been an accident. His second wife Denise Richards reported she had been physically abused by him. She also accused Sheen of drug use and the consumption of child pornography. His third wife made similar claims, which led to Charlie Sheen eventually pleading guilty to third-degree domestic violence. Despite these numerous allegations, Sheen was the highest paid TV actor in the late 2000s, earning $1.8 million per episode of Two and a Half Men. Sheen's career took a nosedive after his alleged drug problem got out of hand.
What is he doing now? Presumably still drinking tiger blood and enjoying his fortune of $125 million.
2. Ozzy Osbourne
What happened? Tried to kill his wife Sharon while he was under the influence of drugs. Sharon said: I knew that something was going to happen. He went to bed. I was reading downstairs. He came down in his underpants, sat on the sofa right opposite me and said, 'We've come to a decision. […] We're very sorry but you're going to have to die. There's no other option.' The couple reconciled later, although their marriage was plaqued by cheating rumors and never appeared to be untroubled. In 2009, Ozzy said that he regretted trying to kill Sharon. 'It wasn't my plan to […] try to strangle her and end up in prison.'
What is he doing now? Either being a serial cheater and/or a victim of elder abuse.
3. Christian Slater
What happened? Slater was convicted of assaulting his girlfriend Michelle Jonas back in the 90s. He spent three months in jail and was sent to rehab. In 2005, he allegedly harassed a woman on a New Yorker street. He was charged with third degree sexual abuse but the charges were later dropped 'on the condition that [he] would keep out of trouble for six months'.
What is he doing now? Just won a Golden Globe award, Satellite award, and Critics' Choice award for his role on Mr. Robot.
4. Sean Penn
What happened? This lower-tier demon from hell and his human flesh vessel have been accused of various incidents of domestic violence. During the course of their marriage, Madonna claimed to have been severely abused by Penn, but later dropped any charges. She made headlines last year when she publicly disputed the domestic abuse allegations once more, stating that her former husband had never hit her. Allegedly, Penn was once arrested for the attempted murder of a paparazzo and was charged with battery and vandalism. Penn recently filed a $10 million defamation lawsuit against Empire co-creator Lee Daniels after Daniels had insinuated that Penn abused women.
What is he doing now? Getting roasted for his tone-deaf white savior movie The Last Face, in which Charlize Theron and Javier Bardem are rumored to give the worst performances of their careers.
5. Nicolas Cage
What happened? In 2011, Cage was arrested after a violent argument with his wife Alice Kim. He appeared to have been heavily intoxicated and no charges were pressed. In 2009, his former girlfriend Christina Fulton claimed that he had mentally, physically and emotionally abused her during the course of their relationship.
What is he doing now? Being a living and breathing meme. Upcoming projects include an Oliver Stone movie about whistleblower Edward Snowden.
6. Josh Brolin
What happened? Was charged with spousal battery in 2004. A spokesperson was quick to assure the public that although Diane Lane had indeed called the police and claimed that Brolin had hit her, 'there was a misunderstanding', and 'Diane did not want to press charges.' Also, the arrest was for 'the lowest-end misdemeanor charge of domestic battery.' Phew! I'm glad she just misunderstood being hit!
What is he doing now? Being typecast as the fictional supervillain Thanos in the MCU.
7. Chris Brown
What happened? This collection of bad choices has a long history of violent behavior. Over the years, Brown has been accused of assault, robbery, battery, hit-and-run, and vandalism (not to mention general assholery and bigotry). In 2009, he assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna. He was charged with felony assault and pled guilty, accepting a plea deal which sentenced him to five years of probation, one year of domestic violence counseling and six month of community service. While Brown's career initially suffered after his assault on Rihanna, '[the incident ultimately] had little bearing on the progress of his music and acting careers.' His 2015 album Royalty sold 360.000 units, making it Brown's seventh top ten debut in the United States. Rihanna has said that she felt 'punished over and over' by the media, which made her relive the assault.
What is he doing now? Most likely dragging women on social media.
8. Terrence 'Baby Wipes' Howard
What happened? Baby Wipes admitted to hitting both his first wife and his second wife in a 2015 Rolling Stone interview. Is quoted saying, '[Lori McCommas] was talking to me real strong, and I lost my mind and slapped her in front of the kids.' His second wife, Michelle Ghent, got a restraining order after several incidents had occurred. Ghent claimed that he had carried her to a balcony and threatened to throw her off it.
What is he doing now? Enjoying his Empire success and promoting anal hygiene. Inventing his own language of logic which he calls 'Terryology' and wants to present to the public at some point in the future. Claims that he can prove that '1 x 1 = 2.'
9. Sean Connery
What happened? Allegedly abused his first wife, Diane Cilento, both verbally and physically. Went on record saying that it's not 'that bad to slap women' depending on the context, specifically 'if you want to have the last word but a woman won't let you.'
What is he doing now? Enjoying his retirement. Was named the 'Sexiest Man of the Century' by People magazine as well as 'Scotland's Greatest Living National Treasure' by the National Treasures Report.
10. Mike Tyson
What happened? Tyson was charged with the rape of an 18-year old in 1992. The trial quickly took a nasty turn. Even those who were sympathetic to the ordeal of the victim said that she should have known what to expect. Tyson was eventually convicted of rape and sentenced to six years in prison. Despite being in his mid twenties at the time of the crime, he was sent to the Indiana Youth Center and released after serving only three years.
What is he doing now? Enjoying a surprisingly prolific career as a comedic actor with appearances in the ultimate bro comedies Hangover I and II, as well as How I Met Your Mother, Entourage, Scary Movie 5 and Family Guy. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump recently said that he supported Tyson and that the boxer had been 'railroaded.' Mike Tyson stepped forward as a Trump supporter.
11. Alec Baldwin
What happened? This walking temper tantrum called his daughter a 'rude thoughtless pig' when she was only eleven and threatened to fly to LA to 'straighten her ass out'. In interviews, he occasionally muses which people he would like to kill. Kim Basinger said that it's funny that she turned down Sleeping with the Enemy and then went on to sleep with the enemy. During their divorce, she claimed that Baldwin had abused her physically and emotionally.
What is he doing now? After playing 'TV's most lovable misogynist' on Tina Fey's 30 Rock, he has no less than eight projects listed up for the next two years. In his free time he enjoys getting arrested for riding his bicycle the wrong way.
12. Mickey Rourke
What happened? This human trash can proposed to his girlfriend Carré Otis by threatening to kill himself if she didn't say yes. Was arrested for spousal abuse in 1994. Even ten years after the separation, Rourke said that he wouldn't ever compromise and that he was still waiting for his former wife to come back to him.
What is he doing now? Defending Johnny Depp. Surprising everyone by not being a Trump supporter. Decidedly not surprising everyone by claiming he wants to take a bat to Donald Trump.
13. Sean Bean
What happened? Described as an 'old-fashioned chauvinist' and a 'macho Northern male', Sean Bean admitted he just doesn't understand women. Was arrested on the suspicion of domestic assault in 2008. His wife claimed that everything was blown out of proportion and that they're totally fine.
What is he doing now? Being a human spoiler. Choosing questionable projects. Lots of voice acting.
14. Steven Segal
What happened? This disposal site for toxic waste allegedly abused and raped his wife, model Kelly LeBrock. A former assistant also accused him of sexual harassment AND sex trafficking. The resulting lawsuit was privately resolved. Five more women came forward with similar accusations.
What is he doing now? Hanging out with Vladimir Putin, whom he describes a 'brother'. Supporting his decision to annex Crimea.
15. Emma Roberts
What happened? Was arrested in Montreal after allegedly beating and biting her boyfriend Evan Peters. He didn't press charges and proposed to her a few months later. They ended the engagement in mid 2015, but reconciled later.
What is she doing now? Currently stuck playing high school and college students. Has a decent career and some name recognition, but fails to replicate her aunt's meteoric rise to fame.
16. Oscar Pistorius
What happened? This South African athlete and Olympic gold medal winner fatally shot his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp, on Valentine's Day 2013. He claimed to have mistaken her for an intruder. After a highly public trial he was found guilty of culpable homicide and received a prison sentence of five years. He was released into house arrest after one-sixth of his prison term had been served. Pistorius might have a history of domestic violence: in 2009, he was arrested for allegedly assaulting a 19-year-old girl at his house.
What is he doing now? Due to the 'shocking lightness' of Pistorius' sentence, the culpable homicide verdict was appealed. The court unanimously overturned the decision and found him guilty of murder. The sentence hearing takes place in June 2016.
17. Michael Fassbender
What happened? His ex-girlfriend Sunawin Andrews claimed that he assaulted her (breaking her nose in the process and causing other injuries, all of them horrific). The accusations were dropped later. For hardcore Fassie fans, Andrews has been an object of scorn ever since.
What is he doing now? Serving as our daily reminder that we need to brush our teeth. Starring in the current Fox flop X-Men: Apocalypse. Upcoming projects include Assassin's Creed and Alien: Covenant.
18. 50 Cent
What happened? 50 Cent allegedly kicked the mother of his child, Daphne Joy, and destroyed her Californian condo. He made fun of the charges on social media and avoided jail with a plea deal (not contesting a count of misdemeanor vandalism in exchange for the dismissal of all other counts).
What is he doing now? Diversifying his portfolio. Chilling with Meryl Streep and Bette Middler.
19. Wesley Snipes
What happened? Wesley Snipes (yes, that's what he looks like these days) allegedly assaulted Halle Berry, reportedly hitting the actress so hard she lost 80% of the hearing in her right ear. Halle Berry recently said she still struggles with the aftermath of her abuse and has made it her life's purpose to help other women in that situation. She also said that helping abused women isn't always a 'sympathetic cause' and that it's 'much easier to raise money for […] every other affliction that affects every person walking the planet.' She never named her abuser.
What is he doing now? Was charged with income tax conviction and was sentenced to three years in prison. Was released in 2013. Recently got an acting gig in The Expendables 3.
20. Eminem
What happened? This marshmallow has been hyped as the white savior of an entire music genre, profiting from implicit racism, explicit homophobia and a whole lot of misogyny. His on and off relationship with Kim Mathers inspired many of his songs, including 'Kim', in which he verbally abuses her (Sit down bitch! You move again I'll beat the shit out of you! Quit crying, bitch! Why do you always make me shout at you?) and ultimately fantasizes about killing her. He also beat up a blow-up doll that resembled his wife at one of his concerts, nearly driving Kim to suicide. 'Seeing the crowd's response and everybody cheering, singing the words and laughing and it just felt like everyone was staring at me,' Kim says. 'I knew that it was about me and that night I went home and I tried to commit suicide.'
What is he doing now? Chilling on his fortune of $200 million. Deciding he hasn't profited enough from domestic abuse and released 'Love the Way You Lie' in 2010. Serving us whiny manpain. Still considered one of the greats and admired for keeping it real.
21. David O. Russell
What happened? While not quite fitting the definition of a domestic abuser, professional sleazeball and critic's darling David O. Russell allegedly admitted that he has groped his own niece. He didn't face any charges for the incident. (And if you're asking him, he will allegedly tell you that she acted provocatively). His abusive treatment of Amy Adams on the set of American Hustle also generated headlines.
What is he doing now? Getting a cheek tattoo of JLaw's lipstick stain. Embarrassing everyone in his vicinity.
22. Roman Polanski
What happened? This mummified gremlin has made it his lifelong mission to be outraged that men of his caliber can and will be prosecuted for raping children. He also dated Natassja Kinski while she was 'between fifteen and seventeen' and he was 43. The list of certified Hollywood assholes his supporters includes Woody Allen, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Martin Scorcese, David Lynch, Stephen Frears, Michael Mann, Tilda Swinton, Pedro Almodovar, Monica Bellucci, Ewan McGregor, Adrien Brody, Johnny Depp and others.
What is he doing now? Chilling in Switzerland. Whining that mortal laws apply to him. Serving as an efficient litmus test for human decency.
23. Eric Roberts
What happened? Eric Roberts is known more for his little sister Julia and his daughter Emma than for his own acting, although he has worked in the industry for more than three decades and enjoys a quite prolific career in his own right. Was arrested for domestic violence back in the 90s. Admitted to a drug problem.
What is he doing now? Defending his daughter Emma after the domestic abuse allegations against her broke ('they're grown-ups'). Miraculously has more than thirty projects listed for 2016. Plays award-baiting roles such as 'man', 'judge', and 'loan shark'.
24. Mel Gibson
What happened? This former industry darling is prone to violent outbursts and has insulted every minority demographic there is to insult, displaying an eclectic selection of racism, antisemitism, homophobia and sexism. He was sentenced to three years of probation as well as counseling and community service after he allegedly hit his girlfriend (the mother of his child). Phone calls in which he threatened his girlfriend were leaked to the public. He describes that incident as 'terribly humiliating and painful for my family', asking, 'who anticipates being recorded? ... Who could anticipate such a personal betrayal?' In contrast to everyone else on this list, Gibson actually suffered from the consequences of his actions - although it's unclear how much the domestic abuse allegations contributed to his fall from grace.
What is he doing now? Popping up in random movies. Serving as a human punchbag for Ricky Gervais.
25. Tommy Lee
What happened? Pled no contest to a charge of spousal battery against then-wife Pamela Anderson. Spent six months in jail and paid $6000 to a women's shelter.
What is he doing now? Enjoys his fortune of $70 million. Supports PETA.
+1 Alleged domestic abuser who DIDN'T get away with it:
26. Columbus Short
What happened? Pled no contest to misdemeanor spousal battery and was sentenced to three years of probation and 30 days of community labor.
What is he doing now? Was fired from Scandal after he had been charged with battery. Praise Shonda's light.