A very fond farewell.
"Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. And if the other person doesn't want it, you know, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does."
Nate Fisher ~ Six Feet Under
My relationship is officially over. I cannot bring myself to think about the months ahead of me, or even the weeks. I have been down this road before, and I know all too well how the sadness can stretch on for what feels like forever. The hardest part is that--for however long it takes me to get over the hurt--this person is dead to me. For almost 2 years, he has been my best friend, the pinnacle of my day, and my very reason for existing. I threw all of the love and effort that I had inside of me into what I thought was going to be a long and fruitful relationship. Now, I cannot bear to say his name, because it brings tears to my eyes to even think it. What an empty existence I will have, until my heart starts to mend. The silent drives. The 8 hours at work, all spent trying to avoid the prying questions. The quiet moments before I finally fall asleep.
I relied on him too heavily for so many things, and now I feel alone and afraid. I no longer have a safe-haven, or a shelter to run to. I have nothing. If something bad happens to me, there is no one who will immediately notice or care. My very small circle of friends are tied up in their own lives, and my parents abandoned me to my own devices long ago. I can only pray that nothing truly bad befalls me. At least, not until I've taken the time necessary to regain my sea-legs.
I have to stay busy. Have to keep moving. Work 12 hour shifts. Sign up for extra classes. Spend as little time alone as possible. Have to fill the void. Must keep going, to keep from going mad.
Nate Fisher ~ Six Feet Under
My relationship is officially over. I cannot bring myself to think about the months ahead of me, or even the weeks. I have been down this road before, and I know all too well how the sadness can stretch on for what feels like forever. The hardest part is that--for however long it takes me to get over the hurt--this person is dead to me. For almost 2 years, he has been my best friend, the pinnacle of my day, and my very reason for existing. I threw all of the love and effort that I had inside of me into what I thought was going to be a long and fruitful relationship. Now, I cannot bear to say his name, because it brings tears to my eyes to even think it. What an empty existence I will have, until my heart starts to mend. The silent drives. The 8 hours at work, all spent trying to avoid the prying questions. The quiet moments before I finally fall asleep.
I relied on him too heavily for so many things, and now I feel alone and afraid. I no longer have a safe-haven, or a shelter to run to. I have nothing. If something bad happens to me, there is no one who will immediately notice or care. My very small circle of friends are tied up in their own lives, and my parents abandoned me to my own devices long ago. I can only pray that nothing truly bad befalls me. At least, not until I've taken the time necessary to regain my sea-legs.
I have to stay busy. Have to keep moving. Work 12 hour shifts. Sign up for extra classes. Spend as little time alone as possible. Have to fill the void. Must keep going, to keep from going mad.