(no subject)
life is rough.
last night kyle and i had good conversation. it was going smoothly like usual. so, i thought.
then he starts crying as soon as i'm about to hang up because i'm really tired. it was about 2 in the morning.
and i'm asking and asking what's wrong what's bugging him. and he finally tells me that in the future he fears he'll want to see other people. or something like that. so he drug it out and made it hurt and i started crying and getting so upset and freaking out.
and then his mom came in and made him get off the phone with me.
i haven't heard from him since.
and his mom calls me like half an hour ago and asks me some questions and tells me not to call him anymore. and i just simply said.. okay.. how could i say okay?! i love him. i want to be with him. it's not fucking fair.
and i normally don't get this upset over people in situations like this, i just blow it off and it doesn't really bother me. but this really bothers me. this really hurts.
cause i finally trusted him and finally loved him after i had a really bad incident before. and it hurts that this happened.
the next morning after we had that problem?
i called and left a voicemail letting him know everything was okay dismorning and telling him everything's fine i just wanna tlak.
and then his mom called..
so, i deleted him off my myspace. off my aim profile. and off my buddy list.
but i have all his text messages in my phone, his number, he's all over my journal.
i don't know what to do.
he's all i think about.
i lost friends over this.
i lost a lot.
but i didn't care. cause i love him. and i don't care still
i just want things to be back to the way they were when we first started.
and all i can do is cry. cause it hurts so much.
you don't know how much it hurts.
i rather be fucking raped a thousand times. then have to go through this.
and you don't know my story. so don't even say i'm exaggerating.
no one knows my fucking story.
and i'm tired of this life.
maybe if i die i can transform into someone worthy of having a good life.
last night kyle and i had good conversation. it was going smoothly like usual. so, i thought.
then he starts crying as soon as i'm about to hang up because i'm really tired. it was about 2 in the morning.
and i'm asking and asking what's wrong what's bugging him. and he finally tells me that in the future he fears he'll want to see other people. or something like that. so he drug it out and made it hurt and i started crying and getting so upset and freaking out.
and then his mom came in and made him get off the phone with me.
i haven't heard from him since.
and his mom calls me like half an hour ago and asks me some questions and tells me not to call him anymore. and i just simply said.. okay.. how could i say okay?! i love him. i want to be with him. it's not fucking fair.
and i normally don't get this upset over people in situations like this, i just blow it off and it doesn't really bother me. but this really bothers me. this really hurts.
cause i finally trusted him and finally loved him after i had a really bad incident before. and it hurts that this happened.
the next morning after we had that problem?
i called and left a voicemail letting him know everything was okay dismorning and telling him everything's fine i just wanna tlak.
and then his mom called..
so, i deleted him off my myspace. off my aim profile. and off my buddy list.
but i have all his text messages in my phone, his number, he's all over my journal.
i don't know what to do.
he's all i think about.
i lost friends over this.
i lost a lot.
but i didn't care. cause i love him. and i don't care still
i just want things to be back to the way they were when we first started.
and all i can do is cry. cause it hurts so much.
you don't know how much it hurts.
i rather be fucking raped a thousand times. then have to go through this.
and you don't know my story. so don't even say i'm exaggerating.
no one knows my fucking story.
and i'm tired of this life.
maybe if i die i can transform into someone worthy of having a good life.