Shampoo
Title: Shampoo
Pairing(s): Yesung/Sungmin, slight!Kangin/Leeteuk
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, no one owns them.
Warning: Character death and mild language.
Summary: Sometimes, your partner's mere scent, however faint it may be, is enough for you to carry on life without them.
When I first saw you, I hated the scent that was surrounding you.
The first time Sungmin laid eyes on Jongwoon, it was at a bus stop. Sungmin had approached the shelter gratefully, seeking respite from the harsh rays of the sun. As he got nearer and nearer, his nose suddenly caught a whiff of something unpleasant: cigarette smoke.
Covering his mouth with his free hand, Sungmin coughed delicately as he moved under the shelter. Eyes surveying the other occupants of the bus stop as discreetly as he could, Sungmin soon spotted the source of his discomfort.
At the far corner of the bus stop was a man. Probably around his age, Sungmin guessed, the man was dressed sleekly in a crisp red dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a charcoal grey waistcoat and a pair of fitted black slacks. One of his hands was grasping his briefcase and the other was tucked into his pocket. Sungmin gave the man a once-over, starting from the top with his slightly tousled brown hair to his wingtip oxford dress shoes at the bottom. The man had good taste; Sungmin had to hand it to him.
What made everything irrelevant was the scent surrounding the man. Sungmin had always hated cigarette smoke. Be it passing by a smoker or the lingering scent of cigarettes on a building, Sungmin had grown to dislike cigarette smoke so much that he hated everything associated with smoking.
Therefore, he hated the man at first sight (and sniff).
It turned out that the both of them took the same bus. Sungmin shuffled quietly as the man before him strode into the bus. He hoped with all his heart that he wouldn't have to stand next to the man; he didn't want to have to hold his breath for the rest of the journey.
Some days, his prayers were answered; several other commuters would board the bus before him, as Sungmin ambled at the back of the crowd. Sometimes, he wasn't as lucky; Sungmin would spend his journey inhaling and exhaling through his parted lips, all the while hoping that the man next to him didn't notice his peculiar and slightly insulting behaviour.
Occasionally, to pass the time, Sungmin studied the man standing next to him (discreetly, of course). Now that he was forced to stand side by side with the man, Sungmin finally noticed the man's rich, dark eyes which were framed by his thick eyelashes. Sungmin's eyes moved to the apples of the man's cheeks and lingered for a moment, before moving downwards progressively, until Sungmin felt that his inspection of the man was starting to show. The man never gave a hint on whether he had noticed Sungmin's gaze; he maintained an indifferent expression as he stared out of the bus windows.
One day, the bus was filled to the brim. Sungmin shifted uncomfortably in his position as people kept thronging into the bus, making it too stuffy and too cramped for his senses. The man next to him showed no signs of unease, his inexpressive face a constant as his eyes followed the vehicles outside of the bus' interior.
Suddenly, the bus came into an abrupt halt, its tires screeching painfully as it avoided crashing into the vehicle before it. Losing his bearings at the sudden jerk of the bus, Sungmin stumbled and felt himself being pulled forwards, into the path of the unsuspecting elderly lady seated in front of him. Sungmin made to open his mouth, to voice out his warning but not a sound came out.
Then, he felt them. A pair of hands wrapped around his body, one slipping around his waist and the other gripping his left wrist. The pair of hands tugged on him hastily, and Sungmin stumbled back into something hard and very human.
The grip on Sungmin's waist tightened just a touch but the grip around his wrist slackened, and the hand soon slipped off. Slowly, tentatively, Sungmin titled his head to determine the identity of his saviour and his mouth fell open unabashedly when he recognised the person holding him.
"A simple 'thank you' for saving you from squashing the old lady would suffice, you know?" The man commented easily, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes.
Feeling his cheeks warming up at the man's comment, Sungmin immediately faced the front and shyly bowed his head.
"Thank you."
Sungmin let out a squeak when the bus made another sudden jerk, causing him to fall back into the man's hold, with his back pressing up against the man's front.
"Careful," The man said, the light tone in his voice now absent as he tightened his grip on Sungmin's waist. Sungmin nodded meekly, and shakily brought out an arm to grasp at the nearest pole.
With Sungmin's stop being the next one, he looked back at the man behind him and shot him a sheepish, apologetic look. The man's eyes narrowed in acknowledgement and he released Sungmin from his hold, retracting his hand from Sungmin's waist.
"Thank you," Sungmin said again, and this time, a shy smile crept upon his lips.
The man pretended to tip a hat from the crown of his head and he smiled back. "You're welcome."
Sungmin turned around and made to head towards the exit of the bus. Before he could take one step, he was stopped by the man's voice.
"Jongwoon!" The man exclaimed. Clearing his throat, he added in a much calmer tone, "I'm Kim Jongwoon."
Sungmin smiled and looked over his shoulder.
"Lee Sungmin."
-
Sungmin would always anticipate the end of his Thursday shifts. Besides being the day where his shifts at the library ended the earliest, Thursday also meant that he would meet Jongwoon at the bus stop and board the bus together with him. Now, Jongwoon and Sungmin could maintain an easy conversation as they traveled together on the bus.
Sungmin stopped breathing through his mouth and attempted to act as naturally around Jongwoon as possible. Jongwoon's breath was a mixture of coffee and spearmint, both scents masking the smell of cigarettes, so there was one less thing for Sungmin to worry about. Still, the scent of burnt cigarettes lingered on the older man's clothes, and Sungmin had to hold back a choked cough from time to time when the smell infiltrated his nostrils and attacked his weakened airways.
"Are you alright?" Jongwoon questioned worriedly as he watched Sungmin burst into a fit of hacking coughs.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," Sungmin waved away Jongwoon's question with a dismissive gesture of his hand. "It's just that my airways are very sensitive."
Jongwoon remained silent for quite some time, to the point that Sungmin was starting to wonder if there was anything wrong with him.
"Jongwoon?" Sungmin said uncertainly.
"It's your stop already, Sungmin," was Jongwoon's flat reply.
Unnerved by the sudden shift in Jongwoon's behaviour, Sungmin shot him a brief look of bemusement and mumbled a quick "I'll see you next week." before heading towards the exit.
As he was about to step out of the exit, Sungmin glanced askance at Jongwoon one last time. Jongwoon's face was scrunched up in palpable discomfort, and his lips were curved in a frown. Sungmin had no time to worry about Jongwoon as the door had opened and before the exodus of commuters could push him out, he stepped out of the bus.
From here on, forget everything else. I only want you to be covered in my fragrance.
It had been three months since they had first met, two months since Jongwoon had prevented Sungmin from falling into the lap of an elderly lady. Sungmin had noticed a subtle, yet conspicuous change in Jongwoon. One day, when the bus was miraculously near empty and both of them managed to secure seats next to each other, Sungmin verbalised the thought that had been niggling at the back of his head.
"You've stopped smoking, Jongwoon?" asked Sungmin.
Jongwoon merely shrugged indifferently. "Yeah. I'm been weaning myself off cigarettes with the help of some nicotine gum."
"But... Isn't it hard to quit? I've heard that some people spend their their whole lives trying to kick the habit."
Another dismissive shrug. "I've realised that it's too costly a habit."
Sungmin kept quiet after that. Jongwoon had adverted his eyes and was staring down at his lap, his fists clenched and resting on his thighs.
Little did Sungmin know then that of the many reasons that made Jongwoon quit smoking socially, the one that spurred him the most, was that Jongwoon hated that Sungmin's chest would heave in discomfort every time he was in Jongwoon's presence.
-
Another two months had passed and Jongwoon was faring pretty well. Occasionally, his hand would unwittingly snake into his back pocket, where he used to keep a packet of cigarettes. Sometimes, when the urge was overwhelming, he would cram as many gum pellets into his mouth as possible, and he would chew and chew until the urge dissipated.
Jongwoon visited Sungmin at his workplace now and then, heading for the library after clocking full hours at the advertising agency he worked in. On his first visit, Jongwoon was glued to Sungmin's side, shadowing Sungmin's every movement till the end of his shift. Sungmin admonished Jongwoon and smacked his shoulder playfully with an over-sized tome. Jongwoon explained that he had done so in jest, and for his subsequent visits, Jongwoon perused various books on advertising and brand concepts, as he waited for Sungmin's shift to end. They would sometimes have a meal at a nearby eatery or just take the bus home together.
As Sungmin covered the hallways of the first floor of the quiet, empty library, Jongwoon tailed behind him, hands tucked into his pockets.
Jongwoon waited outside when Sungmin slipped into the employees' locker room. Tapping his feet onto the carpeted floor, he struggled with himself as he wondered whether now would be the right moment to execute what he had been planning for the past month. When Sungmin emerged from the locker room, a soft smile playing on his lips as he motioned to Jongwoon to make their leave, Jongwoon knew that it was now or never.
Striding towards Sungmin wordlessly, Jongwoon pinned Sungmin to the wall, his outstretched arms planted at each of Sungmin's sides as he held Sungmin captive before him. Sungmin frowned instinctively at Jongwoon's actions, and he whipped his sling bag to his front, clutching it warily as he maintained a safe distance between him and Jongwoon.
Jongwoon's eyes trailed onto the bag, a feeble attempt by Sungmin to ensure that they weren't in direct physical contact, and he smirked.
"What are you playing at, Jongwoon?" Sungmin asked harshly, disliking the almost predatory look in Jongwoon's eyes.
"Oh, nothing," Jongwoon replied smoothly. Keeping his eyes on Sungmin's, Jongwoon shifted closer and brushed away the sling bag; Sungmin's grip had slackened under Jongwoon's intense gaze.
"You know, I've been meaning to try out another taste," Jongwoon revealed, sliding his finger under the curve of Sungmin's jaw.
"A-and what's that, Jongwoon?" Sungmin stammered, his eyes racing wildly in all directions as he struggled to break free from Jongwoon's magnetic gaze, attempting to concentrate on anything but Jongwoon's dark eyes. The undisguised passion in Jongwoon's pupils made Sungmin weak. It drew him in, trapping him entirely that Sungmin could only face Jongwoon directly as the the latter wrapped his fingers around Sungmin's chin, holding it in a firm grip.
Jongwoon took a step closer, his thighs now in direct contact with Sungmin's as he pressed Sungmin against the wall. Craning his neck to the side of Sungmin's face, he teased Sungmin, letting his breath ghost over Sungmin's jawline. Shivering at the sensation that the warm air had invoked, Sungmin froze when Jongwoon brought his lips to his ear.
"You," Jongwoon finally answered Sungmin's question; the word leaving Jongwoon's lips as a husky whisper.
Jongwoon pulled away and then bent forward bit by bit till his lips were pressed ever so lightly against Sungmin's.
Sungmin's eyes shot wide open at the realisation of Jongwoon's lips against his. His eyes focused on the middle of his face on where Jongwoon's lips were; he strained his eyes so hard that he was starting to get cross-eyed.
Jongwoon increased the pressure on Sungmin's mouth, a corner of his lips quirking when he could feel Sungmin moving his own lips tentatively.
Jongwoon lightened his hold on Sungmin's jaw, and he let his hand slip to Sungmin's waist. Running it up and down Sungmin's side, he was soon rewarded with a soft moan from the younger male. With Sungmin's lips parted at that moment, Jongwoon could have seized the opportunity to slide his tongue into Sungmin's mouth. Instead, he pulled away, causing Sungmin to blink bemusedly at him.
Retracting his hand that had earlier held Sungmin captive, Jongwoon stroked his lips with his thumb, feeling the thin film of moisture caused by the joining of their lips. Sungmin's eyes followed the movements of Jongwoon's thumb wordlessly, his chest heaving, winded from their kiss.
Jongwoon smirked, and he ran his tongue teasingly over his bottom lip. "Just a hint, yet I already want more."
Sungmin flushed at Jongwoon's statement. Shakily and uncertainly, he reached out to wrap his arms around Jongwoon's neck, lessening their proximity.
Gazing into Sungmin's eyes, Jongwoon smiled when he saw a sliver of approval in them, which was previously absent when he had first cornered the younger male.
"May I?" Jongwoon enquired, as he continued searching Sungmin's countenance for any signs of disapproval.
Sungmin bobbed his head once, before closing his eyes in anticipation as his fingers tightened their hold on the nape of Jongwoon's neck.
Their lips met again, and this time, Jongwoon captured Sungmin's bottom lip in between his own lips, nibbling on it gently and playfully. Sungmin's breath hitched when Jongwoon bit down on his bottom lip, and he clutched at the back of Jongwoon's neck.
Releasing Sungmin's lower lip from his hold, Jongwoon began licking at it tentatively, requesting for access. Sungmin complied, granting Jongwoon access as he parted his lips in response.
The two started to explore each other's mouths experimentally, both cringing slightly at the foreign sensation. Tongues searching, they could taste the distinctive taste of the other. When their tongues brushed past each others, Jongwoon moaned into the kiss while Sungmin gave a little start; the sensation caused by the sudden contact was pleasurable, to say the least.
Hands moving to the back of Jongwoon's shirt, Sungmin fisted the silk material, whimpering as Jongwoon started to caress his lips against the side of his face. Jongwoon slowly marked a trail from Sungmin's lips to his ear. Tongue darting out to lick at the shell of Sungmin's ear, Jongwoon then took Sungmin's ear into his mouth, nipping and sucking on the soft cartilage.
"Jongwoon..." Sungmin panted, his head starting to spin as he became more and more disoriented by Jongwoon's ministrations.
"Jongwoon," Sungmin repeated, shutting his eyes in bliss when Jongwoon trailed his lips to his neck, dragging his tongue downwards till it touched Sungmin's collarbone. Jongwoon lapped at Sungmin's skin, tasting the light saltiness of Sungmin's sweat, and brushed his nose against Sungmin's neck, inhaling the prevailing scent of Sungmin's cologne mixed with the faint smell of his shampoo. Jongwoon breathed in deeply, trying to catch more of the scent that he had grown accustomed to.
Pulling away from Sungmin's neck, Jongwoon straightened his posture and stared into Sungmin's eyes. Lids half-closed, Sungmin looked up at Jongwoon, his lips slightly parted and pink from their session.
Raising his free hand, Jongwoon brought it to Sungmin's lips and trailed his index finger along its contours. Jongwoon's eyes followed his finger as it traveled along Sungmin's lower lip and teased the inside of Sungmin's mouth momentarily.
"One kiss," Jongwoon smiled. "One kiss, and I've already grown addicted to your taste."
"There's no turning back, Jongwoon," Sungmin commented, in what he hoped was a lighthearted tone. In actuality, he was scared. Scared that the older male had only kissed him to pacify his cravings. That Jongwoon had perversely done so to find a new taste to get addicted to. That their kiss had no meaning.
Reading Sungmin's insecurity through his bright, watery eyes, Jongwoon sighed. Brushing away Sungmin's fringe with his other hand, Jongwoon leaned forward and planted a soft peck on Sungmin's forehead.
"I wouldn't kiss you if I didn't possess even a shred of feelings for you, Sungmin," Jongwoon disclosed, as he gently brought Sungmin closer into his hold.
"I didn't mean to think that way," Sungmin whispered, resting his face in the crook of Jongwoon's neck as the latter rested his chin lightly on top of Sungmin's head.
"You don't have to apologise. I should be the one apologising. I must have scared you senseless when I had first cornered you against the wall."
"You did," Sungmin confessed, his fingers trembling slightly as he recollected Jongwoon's expression.
"I'm sorry," Jongwoon said solemnly, before dropping a kiss on Sungmin's scalp. Burying his nose in Sungmin's soft locks, Jongwoon continued to inhale the sweet scent of Sungmin's shampoo.
I feel like my heart will explode. I hate myself for this.
When Jongwoon confessed to Sungmin that he had fallen in love with the other, Sungmin's heart clenched and unclenched painfully and rhythmically. A myriad of emotions and sensations were pooling in his chest, ranging from happiness, excitement, dizziness, apprehension and many more. The most prevalent one, however, was guilt.
He felt guilty for what he couldn't express to Jongwoon. It was too hard and yet, Sungmin knew that he had to tell Jongwoon the bleak truth one day.
As their relationship progressed, from casual dates every two weeks to Sungmin moving into Jongwoon's apartment, the guilt in Sungmin's chest grew. Sungmin didn't know whether it was because of his condition, the overwhelming guilt in his chest or both, but it soon became hard for Sungmin to even breathe normally at times. He felt like his heart was going to explode from all of the pressure.
If you for no, no, no reason, make me feel sad, I'll make sure your eyes sting.
Drumming his fingers distractedly on the armrest of the leather sofa, Sungmin stole another anxious glance at the wall clock. 11.05pm, it read. Sungmin crossed his legs uneasily, as he tried to force himself to think of other thoughts, and not the possibility that his lover was out with someone else. Someone exciting. Someone healthy...
The familiar jingling of keys awakened Sungmin from his reverie, and he shot off the sofa immediately. Just as he was about to grasp the doorknob, it turned and the door opened, revealing a slightly disgruntled looking Jongwoon. His shirt creased beyond recognition, Jongwoon tugged at his collar agitatedly as he stormed past Sungmin. Casting his briefcase aside carelessly, Jongwoon let out an frustrated sigh as he raked his fingers through his hair.
Sungmin hovered tentatively, unsure of what to do or say.
"Jongwoon," Sungmin ventured. "What's wrong?"
"Everything's fucked up," Jongwoon's deep voice boomed harshly. "A fucking headhunter went to poach one of the members from my team. We had to scrap our original idea, and we've been racking our brains for the past six hours, trying to come up with an equally good one."
"Is that why you're back so late?" Jongwoon didn't answer Sungmin's question. Bending over the dining table, Jongwoon muttered darkly to himself, with his hands gripping the edges of the table tightly.
"You could have called me, Jongwoon," Sungmin said in a small voice. "Or messaged me to inform me that you were stuck in the office and you wouldn't be back till late..."
Jongwoon slammed his fists onto the dining table, causing Sungmin to gasp and back away from him slowly.
"I've told you about my troubles at work," Jongwoon muttered angrily. "And all you care about is why I didn't contact you? Could you stop being needy for even one second, Sungmin?"
Sungmin staggered back, his features contorted in pure disbelief at Jongwoon's harsh words. His hands falling limply to his sides, Sungmin started to clench his fists so tightly that his nails dug achingly into his pale flesh.
"Damn it," Jongwoon suddenly swore, as if he had finally realised the consequences of his actions. Turning on his heels, he started to approach Sungmin uncertainly.
"Min, I'm so-" Jongwoon started, but he was promptly cut off by Sungmin's voice.
"Needy?" Sungmin spat out. "You think I'm a needy boyfriend, Jongwoon? All I ask was why you didn't contact me to inform me that you were coming back late, and you label me as needy?"
"I-I didn't mean it," Jongwoon stammered pathetically.
"Next time, have the decency to inform me," Sungmin hissed. "So that you don't make your needy boyfriend wait for you for hours on end!"
"Min, I-"
"I'll leave you be for a while, Jongwoon," Sungmin said bitterly. "I'll give you some breathing space."
Jongwoon could only watch silently as Sungmin grabbed his wallet and keys from the hallway table and stalked out the front door, ensuring that he had slammed it upon his exit.
Slowly, Jongwoon's body crumpled to the ground. Legs splayed on the parquet flooring, Jongwoon punched at the floor in frustration. Retracting his throbbing hand shakily, Jongwoon buried his face in his hands, breathing in and out deeply. He blinked furiously and rapidly, as he tried to hold back the unshed tears that were stinging his eyes.
But if for no, no, no reason, you make me feel happy, I'll embrace your whole body.
Jongwoon was a complete and utter mess when he arrived for work the next day. Not bothering with himself, his fellow co-workers watched incredulously as Jongwoon trudged towards his office, his trademark dress sense reduced to a plain, wrinkled white dress shirt and a pair of ill-fitted black slacks with a well-worn pair of brogues on his feet.
Sinking into the desk chair, Jongwoon sighed wearily and he ran his fingers through his messy hair. Turning around in his seat, his eyes soon fell on a picture frame on his desk and he chuckled bitterly.
It contained a photo of him and Sungmin.
They had finally arranged Jongwoon's furniture to accommodate Sungmin's belongings that he had brought along from his old apartment. Jongwoon had plonked onto the couch tiredly, letting his head lay limp on the headrest. He had his eyes closed and he hadn't noticed that Sungmin was sneakily approaching him, with a Polaroid camera in hand. There was a loud snap, and soon, Jongwoon could hear Sungmin's giggles filling the living room. Jongwoon's eyelids slowly fluttered open and he found Sungmin's flushed face staring back at him.
"You look so cute when you're sleeping, Woonie!" Sungmin laughed with glee, as he waved the photo in Jongwoon's face.
"What?" Jongwoon sat up, losing all traces of sleep instantly. "I bet I have a double chin in that photo. Give me that! How could you even take such an unglamorous photo of me?"
"Of us," Sungmin corrected. "But I guess I make up for you in the picture, huh, Jongwoon?"
"Get back here!" Jongwoon scrambled off the couch, and he began chasing Sungmin round the coffee table.
Jongwoon's finger traced Sungmin's figure longingly. You are such an idiot, Kim Jongwoon.
"For once, I have to agree with you," A loud, familiar voice called out.
Jongwoon gave a little start. As he quickly regained his composure, he looked up and found Youngwoon, a copywriter from his creative team, grinning at him.
"Oh, it's you," Jongwoon said, as he straightened up in his chair. "What do you want, Youngwoon?"
Youngwoon, who was perched on the edge of Jongwoon's desk, shrugged. Then, he said, "You look like shit today, Jongwoon."
"Yeah, well," Jongwoon shrugged as well. "I feel like shit, so I might as well look the part, right?"
Youngwoon gave Jongwoon a wry smile before he pushed himself off the desk and headed towards the door frame of Jongwoon's office. Halfway out of the office, he cast Jongwoon one last parting shot.
"If only you knew what he's going through."
Jongwoon spent the next three hours taking apart Youngwoon's cryptic sentence and dissecting each word, looking for the hidden meaning in them.
-
Slumping against the corner wall of staff pantry, Jongwoon sipped his lukewarm coffee in silence. With Youngwoon's words still ringing in his head, Jongwoon couldn't help but sense a feeling of dread in those words. Just who was this 'he' that Youngwoon was referring to?
-
When lunch break was almost over, Jongwoon stalked back silently to his office. Sullen and irritable, his hands kept itching to his back pocket, desperately seeking a pack of cigarettes. Groaning at his sudden dependance on the nicotine sticks, Jongwoon stopped in his tracks and leaned against the wall, covering his eyes with his forearm.
"You can't expect me to be the one to tell him. It's not right." Jongwoon could suddenly hear Youngwoon's voice echoing faintly from behind the door leading to the stairwell. He edged closer towards the door before pressing his ear against it.
"I know it's not right, Youngwoon, but he has to know one way or another." Another voice, one unfamiliar to Jongwoon's ears, responded.
"Jungsu, I can't be the one to tell him! Your cousin has to tell him."
Jungsu... Where did Jongwoon hear that name again? Right, Jungsu was Youngwoon's boyfriend. But why was he here at the advertising agency? Jongwoon couldn't shake away the feeling that there was more to Jungsu, he just couldn't recall what.
"But Sungmin," Jongwoon's heart stopped when he heard Jungsu mention his lover's name. "I know he can't. It's too much for him."
"How do you know that it's too much for him?" Youngwoon shot back, frustration creeping into his tone.
Jongwoon had had enough. Turning the doorknob, Jongwoon opened the door and burst into the stairwell. Jungsu and Youngwoon recoiled at his sudden action, their faces both frozen in shock.
"You're right," Jongwoon said quietly. "I don't want either one of you to tell me what's wrong with Sungmin. After work ends, you better lead me back to wherever you're keeping him so that I can have a proper talk with him."
Noting the dangerous edge in Jongwoon's voice, the both of them nodded, neither of them daring to defy him.
-
Sungmin had ran to his cousin's flat after his fight with Jongwoon. When Jungsu had opened his front door at the stroke of midnight, he certainly didn't expect to see his cousin, Sungmin, standing in his doorway.
"Sungmin, what happened?" Jungsu asked. Sungmin continued to stand there, his eyes downcast and his feet pawing awkwardly at the edge of the welcome mat.
"Sungmin," Jungsu said worriedly, arms stretching out to clutch Sungmin's shoulders. "What's wrong? Did something happen between you and Jongwoon?"
At the mere mention of Jongwoon's name, Sungmin shoulders began to shake. What started as faint trembles grew into violent, body racking shakes of his shoulders. Sungmin took a step forward and fell into Jungsu's waiting embrace, which was gentle and comforting like Sungmin had always remembered.
Resting his face in the crook of Jungsu's neck, Sungmin cried. As Jungsu calmly and quietly rubbed circles onto Sungmin's back, Sungmin cried freely, his hot tears dampening the elder's shirt.
"Jungsu, what's going on?" Youngwoon walked into the hallway, his hands rubbing his half-open eyes. His hands slowly fell to his sides when he saw his lover consoling someone familiar: his team leader's boyfriend.
"Hey," Youngwoon called out gently, when he was standing next to the two of them. "What did that idiotic Jongwoon do this time, huh?"
"Youngwoon!" Jungsu shot him a disapproving glare. "Let's not," He added crisply.
Hands on either of Sungmin's shoulders, Jungsu and Youngwoon led Sungmin to the guest room.
The next morning, Sungmin had explained to the both of them, over breakfast, about what had happened last night. While Jungsu maintained a calm, expressionless countenance as he listened to Sungmin, Youngwoon hardly contained his expression; his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were pursed in a thin line.
"I don't think it's fair that even your cousin's boyfriend knows about your condition while your own boyfriend is kept in the dark, Sungmin," Youngwoon said roughly. "I mean, I do agree that it was wrong of Jongwoon to snap at you like that, but he would have acted differently had he known about the physical state of your body."
"Youngwoon," Jungsu spoke up. "You only knew about Sungmin's condition when he had suddenly collapsed in front of you many years ago. When you helped me bring him to the hospital, I felt that it was only fair to inform you."
Youngwoon's spoon clattered loudly into his cereal bowl when it slipped from his fingers. "Like I said, I don't think it's fair that I know, while Jongwoon, Sungmin's own boyfriend, doesn't! Jungsu, it's not about whether it's fair for me!"
"I didn't imply that!" Jungsu's voice had raised into a shrill. "I only meant that it was fair during those circumstances, Youngwoon! I didn't bring Jongwoon into thi-"
"Stop."
The both of them paused and turned to Sungmin, who had been staring at his plate during the pair's entire exchange.
"I-I have to tell him," Sungmin mumbled, as he pushed away his fringe tiredly. "He deserves to know."
"Sungmin..." Jungsu's voice immediately softened. "I can help you if you need me to."
"No," was Sungmin's short reply. "I have to do this by myself, Jungsu-hyung."
-
When Sungmin heard the twisting of the key and the turn of the doorknob of Jungsu's and Youngwoon's apartment in the evening, he waited for the duo to walk into the living room to greet them. However, he was greeted with not two, but three familiar faces.
"Jongwoon?" Sungmin gasped, rising from the sofa when he had fully registered Jongwoon's features.
"Min," Jongwoon called out thickly as he walked towards Sungmin. Immediately, he pulled Sungmin into a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry," Jongwoon murmured softly. "I'm so, so sorry." Cradling Sungmin's face in his hands, Jongwoon shakily bent down and kissed Sungmin's forehead.
Sungmin's grip on the front of Jongwoon's shirt tightened and he buried in his face in Jongwoon's chest, relishing the familar warmth and scent of the other.
"You need to know, Jongwoon," Sungmin said sadly. "I'm going to tell you everything now."
Jongwoon pulled away and stared at Sungmin quietly. "Let's resume on the sofa, shall we?"
Jungsu wrapped an arm around Youngwoon's brawny arm and gave it a tug. "Let's leave them alone, Youngwoon," He whispered. Youngwoon nodded his assent and he allowed Jungsu to pull him into their bedroom.
When Jongwoon and Sungmin had settled on the sofa, Sungmin stared at their interlocked hands briefly before looking up at Jongwoon.
"I'm dying, Jongwoon. I have leukemia," Sungmin choked out. "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you this earlier."
Jongwoon was positively thunderstruck; his reaction was as if Sungmin's revelation had literally smacked him in the face. His eyes narrowed and his lips started to quiver.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier, Min?" Jongwoon's words didn't come across as an accusation, but more of a plea.
Bringing his hand up, Sungmin rubbed his eyes with his wrist, wiping away at the trickling hot tears. "I was scared that you would be angry when you found out the truth about me. I was scared you would leave me, Jongwoon. I was scared you didn't want to be with me anymore."
"Min..." Jongwoon let out a pained sigh. Scooting closer to Sungmin, he snaked his free hand around Sungmin's back and pulled him nearer.
"I won't leave you, Min. Ever."
"I'm so sorry, Jongwoon," Sungmin whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Jongwoon's grip on Sungmin's hand tightened and he brought his lips to Sungmin's temple once again, his nose in Sungmin's hair as he breathed in the scent of Sungmin's shampoo.
"I love you," Jongwoon breathed out, his eyes scrunched up as he tried to prevent his tears from falling.
Sungmin's free hand went round Jongwoon's waist, clutching at the back of Jongwoon's shirt firmly.
"I love you too."
Every day, every day, I wait.
Sungmin had stopped working at the library; even the stacking and rearranging of books was too taxing on his body. He spent his mornings in their apartment; carrying out simple chores, cooking dinner for the both of them and playing the occasional song on his guitar. His nights were spent in their bed; the thick blanket covering his slight frame as Jongwoon pulled him flush against his chest. Jongwoon draped his arms carefully around Sungmin's frail body, ensuring that he didn't leave bruises on Sungmin's pale, delicate skin.
Every night, just as he succumbed to his weariness, Sungmin checked off another day spent alive, another night to be spent in Jongwoon's embrace, another day closer to his demise.
Every day, Sungmin waited for his premature end; he knew that his time was near.
I won't even let the mirror see your reflection; covering you with white foam, I'll embrace your whole body.
Drenched by the sudden, torrential downpour, Jongwoon was a sopping mess as he stepped into the apartment, creating tiny puddles of water in his trail.
His attention brought by the slamming of the front door, Sungmin's curiosity heightened when he heard the sloshes and squelches Jongwoon made when he pulled off his leather shoes.
"Jongwoon!" Sungmin exclaimed upon seeing his lover dripping from head to toe.
"I'm fine," Jongwoon mumbled, bringing a hand to push back his fringe.
Sungmin made a noise of disapproval. "No, you're not!" Walking towards Jongwoon, Sungmin grabbed his elbow firmly and began half-dragging, half-directing him towards the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, Sungmin immediately made quick work of Jongwoon's wet clothes, which were clinging onto his skin, made sheer from the dampness. Jongwoon's eyes widened when Sungmin began taking off his own clothes as well.
"What on earth are you doing?" Jongwoon sputtered, his cheeks reddening at the sight of Sungmin stepping out of his sweatpants.
"I'm taking off my clothes," Sungmin rolled his eyes.
"I can see that!" Jongwoon shot back. "I don't see why you have to!"
Sungmin didn't say anything, giving Jongwoon a gentle push towards the bathtub. "Get inside, Jongwoon. I'll get the shampoo and soap."
Jongwoon did as he was told, and climbed bewilderedly into the bathtub. Sitting splay legged, Jongwoon watched as Sungmin plugged the bathtub and let the warm water run. His arms holding the shampoo and soap bottles against his chest, Sungmin stepped into the bathtub carefully and sat in between Jongwoon's legs. Pumping out some liquid from the shampoo bottle, Sungmin rubbed his hands together and began scrubbing Jongwoon's scalp. Jongwoon continued to sit bemusedly in his position, his eyes watching Sungmin's every action as the latter pulled his fingers through his hair and wiped away at the foam falling down Jongwoon's forehead, which was threatening to sting Jongwoon's eyes.
At Jongwoon's request, they soon changed their positions; Sungmin had his back against the wall, with Jongwoon seated in between his legs, his back facing Sungmin. Jongwoon couldn't help but lean back when he felt Sungmin's hands slipping around his waist. He hummed contentedly as both the warmth from the water and Sungmin's arms came into contact with his chest. Closing his eyes, Jongwoon allowed himself to slip into a semi-conscious state as he concentrated on Sungmin. The way Sungmin's fingers trailed delicately as he scrubbed Jongwoon's tired and tense skin, leaving white foam bubbles in their wake. The feel of Sungmin's soft cheek against his when Sungmin pressed his face against Jongwoon's, with Jongwoon relishing the slight warmth at the point of contact.
Strangely enough, even though Sungmin's actions were affectionate and dainty, Jongwoon couldn't help but feel secure in Sungmin's loose hold. Probably how he had felt when I had held him those many months ago on the bus, Jongwoon mused. Then, he shook his head. There was something in Sungmin's hold that wasn't present in his own those many months ago. It was their mutual understanding. There was a mutual, unspoken understanding and trust between them.
Without any airs of apprehension, Jongwoon was able to completely sink in Sungmin's arms. Jongwoon could feel the tension in his body ebbing away as Sungmin rubbed soothing circles onto his back.
Jongwoon threw his head back and sighed blissfully. Sungmin simply smiled and pressed his lips softly to Jongwoon's cheek.
Goodbye, obvious scent. Goodbye, obvious love.
Jongwoon could feel himself stirring. The constant creaking of the bed springs was slowly bringing him into consciousness, to the realisation that the other occupant of the bed was awake.
"Min," Jongwoon called out sleepily, one of his hands swiping in front of him feebly. "Min, what's wrong..."
"Jongwoon," Sungmin croaked in between convulsive gasps. "Jongwoon..."
Jongwoon's eyes shot wide open in horror, all traces of drowsiness disappearing at the sight of Sungmin writhing uncomfortably next to him. Scrambling off the bed, Jongwoon grabbed his cell phone and began pressing the numbers of the emergency hotline frantically.
"H-hello?" Jongwoon stammered once the dial tone was lifted. "This is Kim Jongwoon. My lover, my lover, Lee Sungmin- There's something wrong with him! Send an ambulance over! Immediately! P-please, I beg of you!"
Once he was done telling the operator their address, Jongwoon chucked the cell phone absently onto the bed and made his way towards Sungmin, who was clenching the bedsheets tightly as he gasped for air.
"Min, please," Jongwoon begged, slipping his fingers in between Sungmin's, shakily pulling his and Sungmin's intertwined hands to his lips. "Stay with me. Just for a while more."
"I'm sorry, Jongwoon. I think my time here is up," Sungmin breathed out jerkily.
"No!" Jongwoon cried out. "Fight it, Min! You're strong. You're stronger than me. You always have been."
Sungmin managed to keep his eyes half-open as he stared back at Jongwoon sadly, a desolate smile playing on his chapped lips.
"I love you," Sungmin gasped, his hand trembling slightly in Jongwoon's firm grip. "And don't you ever forget it."
"You'll never let me," Jongwoon chuckled, his breaths dislodged from his throat with much difficulty. His fear of losing Sungmin, which was very much real at that moment, was paralysing him, choking him.
Jongwoon bent down, bringing his quivering lips to Sungmin's forehead. The normal, usual warmth was gone; it was replaced with a cold, unfamiliar clamminess.
Then, it finally happened. Sungmin's cold hand slipped out of Jongwoon's grip. Jongwoon cried out in alarm, his moist eyes immediately searching Sungmin's body for any signs of life. Sungmin's chest had stopped heaving, his eyelids were shut and he was no longer trashing about; instead, his body lay eerily still.
The silence in the apartment was quickly broken by Jongwoon's pained, agonised wails.
Making sure no one else can have you, I'll cover you with me; you can't get rid of my scent.
It had been two weeks since the funeral, and Jongwoon was finally coming to terms with Sungmin's death. Life had to go on as usual. No more Sungmin answering the door in the evening, no more Sungmin to eat dinner with, no more Sungmin to hug and kiss and laugh with.
No more Sungmin.
However, Jongwoon soon found a sanctuary, a place that reminded him of Sungmin the most.
It wasn't the bus stop, where they had first met.
It wasn't the library, where they had shared their first kiss.
It wasn't their bed, where they had spent so many nights together, locked in each others' embrace and ultimately, had their last moment together.
It was their bathroom. The bathtub, to be specific.
Every day, after coming back from work, Jongwoon lets the bathtub fill with warm water as he divested himself of all articles of clothing.
As Jongwoon sinks into the water, he sighs as he feels the warm fluid surrounding him, making his body feel light. The shampoo Jongwoon uses, the exact same one that Sungmin had always used, reminds him of Sungmin, and he smiles pensively as its scent rises, filling the entire bathroom with the familiar smell.
The scent definitely couldn't replace Sungmin. But it reminded Jongwoon of him, and that was enough. It was enough for Jongwoon to carry on with his life.
***
A/N: ...The things that YeMin make me do. .______. I hate angst. I abhor character death. Yet, I was this close to killing Jongwoon, getting him to drown himself in the bathtub. ;~;
This is a lame attempt of a tribute to After School's 'Shampoo', which in my opinion, is an awesome song and it totally deserved awards. Now that their promotions are over, it's too bad. ):
I'm going off on a holiday tomorrow and I'll be back on Sunday. So see you guys~
Comments are appreciated! (:
Edit: Because I rushed all the way after Jongwoon's confession (fail self), I just want to explain how Sungmin died in this fic. Sungmin suffered from leukemia, and as a result, his immune system was drastically weakened. Ultimately, he died of pneumonia. (Lol yes, I don't even know if I got my medical terms and information and whatnot correctly, so please accept this.)
Also, I'm attaching a link to a video containing the subs to 'Shampoo'! (:
Pairing(s): Yesung/Sungmin, slight!Kangin/Leeteuk
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, no one owns them.
Warning: Character death and mild language.
Summary: Sometimes, your partner's mere scent, however faint it may be, is enough for you to carry on life without them.
When I first saw you, I hated the scent that was surrounding you.
The first time Sungmin laid eyes on Jongwoon, it was at a bus stop. Sungmin had approached the shelter gratefully, seeking respite from the harsh rays of the sun. As he got nearer and nearer, his nose suddenly caught a whiff of something unpleasant: cigarette smoke.
Covering his mouth with his free hand, Sungmin coughed delicately as he moved under the shelter. Eyes surveying the other occupants of the bus stop as discreetly as he could, Sungmin soon spotted the source of his discomfort.
At the far corner of the bus stop was a man. Probably around his age, Sungmin guessed, the man was dressed sleekly in a crisp red dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a charcoal grey waistcoat and a pair of fitted black slacks. One of his hands was grasping his briefcase and the other was tucked into his pocket. Sungmin gave the man a once-over, starting from the top with his slightly tousled brown hair to his wingtip oxford dress shoes at the bottom. The man had good taste; Sungmin had to hand it to him.
What made everything irrelevant was the scent surrounding the man. Sungmin had always hated cigarette smoke. Be it passing by a smoker or the lingering scent of cigarettes on a building, Sungmin had grown to dislike cigarette smoke so much that he hated everything associated with smoking.
Therefore, he hated the man at first sight (and sniff).
It turned out that the both of them took the same bus. Sungmin shuffled quietly as the man before him strode into the bus. He hoped with all his heart that he wouldn't have to stand next to the man; he didn't want to have to hold his breath for the rest of the journey.
Some days, his prayers were answered; several other commuters would board the bus before him, as Sungmin ambled at the back of the crowd. Sometimes, he wasn't as lucky; Sungmin would spend his journey inhaling and exhaling through his parted lips, all the while hoping that the man next to him didn't notice his peculiar and slightly insulting behaviour.
Occasionally, to pass the time, Sungmin studied the man standing next to him (discreetly, of course). Now that he was forced to stand side by side with the man, Sungmin finally noticed the man's rich, dark eyes which were framed by his thick eyelashes. Sungmin's eyes moved to the apples of the man's cheeks and lingered for a moment, before moving downwards progressively, until Sungmin felt that his inspection of the man was starting to show. The man never gave a hint on whether he had noticed Sungmin's gaze; he maintained an indifferent expression as he stared out of the bus windows.
One day, the bus was filled to the brim. Sungmin shifted uncomfortably in his position as people kept thronging into the bus, making it too stuffy and too cramped for his senses. The man next to him showed no signs of unease, his inexpressive face a constant as his eyes followed the vehicles outside of the bus' interior.
Suddenly, the bus came into an abrupt halt, its tires screeching painfully as it avoided crashing into the vehicle before it. Losing his bearings at the sudden jerk of the bus, Sungmin stumbled and felt himself being pulled forwards, into the path of the unsuspecting elderly lady seated in front of him. Sungmin made to open his mouth, to voice out his warning but not a sound came out.
Then, he felt them. A pair of hands wrapped around his body, one slipping around his waist and the other gripping his left wrist. The pair of hands tugged on him hastily, and Sungmin stumbled back into something hard and very human.
The grip on Sungmin's waist tightened just a touch but the grip around his wrist slackened, and the hand soon slipped off. Slowly, tentatively, Sungmin titled his head to determine the identity of his saviour and his mouth fell open unabashedly when he recognised the person holding him.
"A simple 'thank you' for saving you from squashing the old lady would suffice, you know?" The man commented easily, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes.
Feeling his cheeks warming up at the man's comment, Sungmin immediately faced the front and shyly bowed his head.
"Thank you."
Sungmin let out a squeak when the bus made another sudden jerk, causing him to fall back into the man's hold, with his back pressing up against the man's front.
"Careful," The man said, the light tone in his voice now absent as he tightened his grip on Sungmin's waist. Sungmin nodded meekly, and shakily brought out an arm to grasp at the nearest pole.
With Sungmin's stop being the next one, he looked back at the man behind him and shot him a sheepish, apologetic look. The man's eyes narrowed in acknowledgement and he released Sungmin from his hold, retracting his hand from Sungmin's waist.
"Thank you," Sungmin said again, and this time, a shy smile crept upon his lips.
The man pretended to tip a hat from the crown of his head and he smiled back. "You're welcome."
Sungmin turned around and made to head towards the exit of the bus. Before he could take one step, he was stopped by the man's voice.
"Jongwoon!" The man exclaimed. Clearing his throat, he added in a much calmer tone, "I'm Kim Jongwoon."
Sungmin smiled and looked over his shoulder.
"Lee Sungmin."
-
Sungmin would always anticipate the end of his Thursday shifts. Besides being the day where his shifts at the library ended the earliest, Thursday also meant that he would meet Jongwoon at the bus stop and board the bus together with him. Now, Jongwoon and Sungmin could maintain an easy conversation as they traveled together on the bus.
Sungmin stopped breathing through his mouth and attempted to act as naturally around Jongwoon as possible. Jongwoon's breath was a mixture of coffee and spearmint, both scents masking the smell of cigarettes, so there was one less thing for Sungmin to worry about. Still, the scent of burnt cigarettes lingered on the older man's clothes, and Sungmin had to hold back a choked cough from time to time when the smell infiltrated his nostrils and attacked his weakened airways.
"Are you alright?" Jongwoon questioned worriedly as he watched Sungmin burst into a fit of hacking coughs.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," Sungmin waved away Jongwoon's question with a dismissive gesture of his hand. "It's just that my airways are very sensitive."
Jongwoon remained silent for quite some time, to the point that Sungmin was starting to wonder if there was anything wrong with him.
"Jongwoon?" Sungmin said uncertainly.
"It's your stop already, Sungmin," was Jongwoon's flat reply.
Unnerved by the sudden shift in Jongwoon's behaviour, Sungmin shot him a brief look of bemusement and mumbled a quick "I'll see you next week." before heading towards the exit.
As he was about to step out of the exit, Sungmin glanced askance at Jongwoon one last time. Jongwoon's face was scrunched up in palpable discomfort, and his lips were curved in a frown. Sungmin had no time to worry about Jongwoon as the door had opened and before the exodus of commuters could push him out, he stepped out of the bus.
From here on, forget everything else. I only want you to be covered in my fragrance.
It had been three months since they had first met, two months since Jongwoon had prevented Sungmin from falling into the lap of an elderly lady. Sungmin had noticed a subtle, yet conspicuous change in Jongwoon. One day, when the bus was miraculously near empty and both of them managed to secure seats next to each other, Sungmin verbalised the thought that had been niggling at the back of his head.
"You've stopped smoking, Jongwoon?" asked Sungmin.
Jongwoon merely shrugged indifferently. "Yeah. I'm been weaning myself off cigarettes with the help of some nicotine gum."
"But... Isn't it hard to quit? I've heard that some people spend their their whole lives trying to kick the habit."
Another dismissive shrug. "I've realised that it's too costly a habit."
Sungmin kept quiet after that. Jongwoon had adverted his eyes and was staring down at his lap, his fists clenched and resting on his thighs.
Little did Sungmin know then that of the many reasons that made Jongwoon quit smoking socially, the one that spurred him the most, was that Jongwoon hated that Sungmin's chest would heave in discomfort every time he was in Jongwoon's presence.
-
Another two months had passed and Jongwoon was faring pretty well. Occasionally, his hand would unwittingly snake into his back pocket, where he used to keep a packet of cigarettes. Sometimes, when the urge was overwhelming, he would cram as many gum pellets into his mouth as possible, and he would chew and chew until the urge dissipated.
Jongwoon visited Sungmin at his workplace now and then, heading for the library after clocking full hours at the advertising agency he worked in. On his first visit, Jongwoon was glued to Sungmin's side, shadowing Sungmin's every movement till the end of his shift. Sungmin admonished Jongwoon and smacked his shoulder playfully with an over-sized tome. Jongwoon explained that he had done so in jest, and for his subsequent visits, Jongwoon perused various books on advertising and brand concepts, as he waited for Sungmin's shift to end. They would sometimes have a meal at a nearby eatery or just take the bus home together.
As Sungmin covered the hallways of the first floor of the quiet, empty library, Jongwoon tailed behind him, hands tucked into his pockets.
Jongwoon waited outside when Sungmin slipped into the employees' locker room. Tapping his feet onto the carpeted floor, he struggled with himself as he wondered whether now would be the right moment to execute what he had been planning for the past month. When Sungmin emerged from the locker room, a soft smile playing on his lips as he motioned to Jongwoon to make their leave, Jongwoon knew that it was now or never.
Striding towards Sungmin wordlessly, Jongwoon pinned Sungmin to the wall, his outstretched arms planted at each of Sungmin's sides as he held Sungmin captive before him. Sungmin frowned instinctively at Jongwoon's actions, and he whipped his sling bag to his front, clutching it warily as he maintained a safe distance between him and Jongwoon.
Jongwoon's eyes trailed onto the bag, a feeble attempt by Sungmin to ensure that they weren't in direct physical contact, and he smirked.
"What are you playing at, Jongwoon?" Sungmin asked harshly, disliking the almost predatory look in Jongwoon's eyes.
"Oh, nothing," Jongwoon replied smoothly. Keeping his eyes on Sungmin's, Jongwoon shifted closer and brushed away the sling bag; Sungmin's grip had slackened under Jongwoon's intense gaze.
"You know, I've been meaning to try out another taste," Jongwoon revealed, sliding his finger under the curve of Sungmin's jaw.
"A-and what's that, Jongwoon?" Sungmin stammered, his eyes racing wildly in all directions as he struggled to break free from Jongwoon's magnetic gaze, attempting to concentrate on anything but Jongwoon's dark eyes. The undisguised passion in Jongwoon's pupils made Sungmin weak. It drew him in, trapping him entirely that Sungmin could only face Jongwoon directly as the the latter wrapped his fingers around Sungmin's chin, holding it in a firm grip.
Jongwoon took a step closer, his thighs now in direct contact with Sungmin's as he pressed Sungmin against the wall. Craning his neck to the side of Sungmin's face, he teased Sungmin, letting his breath ghost over Sungmin's jawline. Shivering at the sensation that the warm air had invoked, Sungmin froze when Jongwoon brought his lips to his ear.
"You," Jongwoon finally answered Sungmin's question; the word leaving Jongwoon's lips as a husky whisper.
Jongwoon pulled away and then bent forward bit by bit till his lips were pressed ever so lightly against Sungmin's.
Sungmin's eyes shot wide open at the realisation of Jongwoon's lips against his. His eyes focused on the middle of his face on where Jongwoon's lips were; he strained his eyes so hard that he was starting to get cross-eyed.
Jongwoon increased the pressure on Sungmin's mouth, a corner of his lips quirking when he could feel Sungmin moving his own lips tentatively.
Jongwoon lightened his hold on Sungmin's jaw, and he let his hand slip to Sungmin's waist. Running it up and down Sungmin's side, he was soon rewarded with a soft moan from the younger male. With Sungmin's lips parted at that moment, Jongwoon could have seized the opportunity to slide his tongue into Sungmin's mouth. Instead, he pulled away, causing Sungmin to blink bemusedly at him.
Retracting his hand that had earlier held Sungmin captive, Jongwoon stroked his lips with his thumb, feeling the thin film of moisture caused by the joining of their lips. Sungmin's eyes followed the movements of Jongwoon's thumb wordlessly, his chest heaving, winded from their kiss.
Jongwoon smirked, and he ran his tongue teasingly over his bottom lip. "Just a hint, yet I already want more."
Sungmin flushed at Jongwoon's statement. Shakily and uncertainly, he reached out to wrap his arms around Jongwoon's neck, lessening their proximity.
Gazing into Sungmin's eyes, Jongwoon smiled when he saw a sliver of approval in them, which was previously absent when he had first cornered the younger male.
"May I?" Jongwoon enquired, as he continued searching Sungmin's countenance for any signs of disapproval.
Sungmin bobbed his head once, before closing his eyes in anticipation as his fingers tightened their hold on the nape of Jongwoon's neck.
Their lips met again, and this time, Jongwoon captured Sungmin's bottom lip in between his own lips, nibbling on it gently and playfully. Sungmin's breath hitched when Jongwoon bit down on his bottom lip, and he clutched at the back of Jongwoon's neck.
Releasing Sungmin's lower lip from his hold, Jongwoon began licking at it tentatively, requesting for access. Sungmin complied, granting Jongwoon access as he parted his lips in response.
The two started to explore each other's mouths experimentally, both cringing slightly at the foreign sensation. Tongues searching, they could taste the distinctive taste of the other. When their tongues brushed past each others, Jongwoon moaned into the kiss while Sungmin gave a little start; the sensation caused by the sudden contact was pleasurable, to say the least.
Hands moving to the back of Jongwoon's shirt, Sungmin fisted the silk material, whimpering as Jongwoon started to caress his lips against the side of his face. Jongwoon slowly marked a trail from Sungmin's lips to his ear. Tongue darting out to lick at the shell of Sungmin's ear, Jongwoon then took Sungmin's ear into his mouth, nipping and sucking on the soft cartilage.
"Jongwoon..." Sungmin panted, his head starting to spin as he became more and more disoriented by Jongwoon's ministrations.
"Jongwoon," Sungmin repeated, shutting his eyes in bliss when Jongwoon trailed his lips to his neck, dragging his tongue downwards till it touched Sungmin's collarbone. Jongwoon lapped at Sungmin's skin, tasting the light saltiness of Sungmin's sweat, and brushed his nose against Sungmin's neck, inhaling the prevailing scent of Sungmin's cologne mixed with the faint smell of his shampoo. Jongwoon breathed in deeply, trying to catch more of the scent that he had grown accustomed to.
Pulling away from Sungmin's neck, Jongwoon straightened his posture and stared into Sungmin's eyes. Lids half-closed, Sungmin looked up at Jongwoon, his lips slightly parted and pink from their session.
Raising his free hand, Jongwoon brought it to Sungmin's lips and trailed his index finger along its contours. Jongwoon's eyes followed his finger as it traveled along Sungmin's lower lip and teased the inside of Sungmin's mouth momentarily.
"One kiss," Jongwoon smiled. "One kiss, and I've already grown addicted to your taste."
"There's no turning back, Jongwoon," Sungmin commented, in what he hoped was a lighthearted tone. In actuality, he was scared. Scared that the older male had only kissed him to pacify his cravings. That Jongwoon had perversely done so to find a new taste to get addicted to. That their kiss had no meaning.
Reading Sungmin's insecurity through his bright, watery eyes, Jongwoon sighed. Brushing away Sungmin's fringe with his other hand, Jongwoon leaned forward and planted a soft peck on Sungmin's forehead.
"I wouldn't kiss you if I didn't possess even a shred of feelings for you, Sungmin," Jongwoon disclosed, as he gently brought Sungmin closer into his hold.
"I didn't mean to think that way," Sungmin whispered, resting his face in the crook of Jongwoon's neck as the latter rested his chin lightly on top of Sungmin's head.
"You don't have to apologise. I should be the one apologising. I must have scared you senseless when I had first cornered you against the wall."
"You did," Sungmin confessed, his fingers trembling slightly as he recollected Jongwoon's expression.
"I'm sorry," Jongwoon said solemnly, before dropping a kiss on Sungmin's scalp. Burying his nose in Sungmin's soft locks, Jongwoon continued to inhale the sweet scent of Sungmin's shampoo.
I feel like my heart will explode. I hate myself for this.
When Jongwoon confessed to Sungmin that he had fallen in love with the other, Sungmin's heart clenched and unclenched painfully and rhythmically. A myriad of emotions and sensations were pooling in his chest, ranging from happiness, excitement, dizziness, apprehension and many more. The most prevalent one, however, was guilt.
He felt guilty for what he couldn't express to Jongwoon. It was too hard and yet, Sungmin knew that he had to tell Jongwoon the bleak truth one day.
As their relationship progressed, from casual dates every two weeks to Sungmin moving into Jongwoon's apartment, the guilt in Sungmin's chest grew. Sungmin didn't know whether it was because of his condition, the overwhelming guilt in his chest or both, but it soon became hard for Sungmin to even breathe normally at times. He felt like his heart was going to explode from all of the pressure.
If you for no, no, no reason, make me feel sad, I'll make sure your eyes sting.
Drumming his fingers distractedly on the armrest of the leather sofa, Sungmin stole another anxious glance at the wall clock. 11.05pm, it read. Sungmin crossed his legs uneasily, as he tried to force himself to think of other thoughts, and not the possibility that his lover was out with someone else. Someone exciting. Someone healthy...
The familiar jingling of keys awakened Sungmin from his reverie, and he shot off the sofa immediately. Just as he was about to grasp the doorknob, it turned and the door opened, revealing a slightly disgruntled looking Jongwoon. His shirt creased beyond recognition, Jongwoon tugged at his collar agitatedly as he stormed past Sungmin. Casting his briefcase aside carelessly, Jongwoon let out an frustrated sigh as he raked his fingers through his hair.
Sungmin hovered tentatively, unsure of what to do or say.
"Jongwoon," Sungmin ventured. "What's wrong?"
"Everything's fucked up," Jongwoon's deep voice boomed harshly. "A fucking headhunter went to poach one of the members from my team. We had to scrap our original idea, and we've been racking our brains for the past six hours, trying to come up with an equally good one."
"Is that why you're back so late?" Jongwoon didn't answer Sungmin's question. Bending over the dining table, Jongwoon muttered darkly to himself, with his hands gripping the edges of the table tightly.
"You could have called me, Jongwoon," Sungmin said in a small voice. "Or messaged me to inform me that you were stuck in the office and you wouldn't be back till late..."
Jongwoon slammed his fists onto the dining table, causing Sungmin to gasp and back away from him slowly.
"I've told you about my troubles at work," Jongwoon muttered angrily. "And all you care about is why I didn't contact you? Could you stop being needy for even one second, Sungmin?"
Sungmin staggered back, his features contorted in pure disbelief at Jongwoon's harsh words. His hands falling limply to his sides, Sungmin started to clench his fists so tightly that his nails dug achingly into his pale flesh.
"Damn it," Jongwoon suddenly swore, as if he had finally realised the consequences of his actions. Turning on his heels, he started to approach Sungmin uncertainly.
"Min, I'm so-" Jongwoon started, but he was promptly cut off by Sungmin's voice.
"Needy?" Sungmin spat out. "You think I'm a needy boyfriend, Jongwoon? All I ask was why you didn't contact me to inform me that you were coming back late, and you label me as needy?"
"I-I didn't mean it," Jongwoon stammered pathetically.
"Next time, have the decency to inform me," Sungmin hissed. "So that you don't make your needy boyfriend wait for you for hours on end!"
"Min, I-"
"I'll leave you be for a while, Jongwoon," Sungmin said bitterly. "I'll give you some breathing space."
Jongwoon could only watch silently as Sungmin grabbed his wallet and keys from the hallway table and stalked out the front door, ensuring that he had slammed it upon his exit.
Slowly, Jongwoon's body crumpled to the ground. Legs splayed on the parquet flooring, Jongwoon punched at the floor in frustration. Retracting his throbbing hand shakily, Jongwoon buried his face in his hands, breathing in and out deeply. He blinked furiously and rapidly, as he tried to hold back the unshed tears that were stinging his eyes.
But if for no, no, no reason, you make me feel happy, I'll embrace your whole body.
Jongwoon was a complete and utter mess when he arrived for work the next day. Not bothering with himself, his fellow co-workers watched incredulously as Jongwoon trudged towards his office, his trademark dress sense reduced to a plain, wrinkled white dress shirt and a pair of ill-fitted black slacks with a well-worn pair of brogues on his feet.
Sinking into the desk chair, Jongwoon sighed wearily and he ran his fingers through his messy hair. Turning around in his seat, his eyes soon fell on a picture frame on his desk and he chuckled bitterly.
It contained a photo of him and Sungmin.
They had finally arranged Jongwoon's furniture to accommodate Sungmin's belongings that he had brought along from his old apartment. Jongwoon had plonked onto the couch tiredly, letting his head lay limp on the headrest. He had his eyes closed and he hadn't noticed that Sungmin was sneakily approaching him, with a Polaroid camera in hand. There was a loud snap, and soon, Jongwoon could hear Sungmin's giggles filling the living room. Jongwoon's eyelids slowly fluttered open and he found Sungmin's flushed face staring back at him.
"You look so cute when you're sleeping, Woonie!" Sungmin laughed with glee, as he waved the photo in Jongwoon's face.
"What?" Jongwoon sat up, losing all traces of sleep instantly. "I bet I have a double chin in that photo. Give me that! How could you even take such an unglamorous photo of me?"
"Of us," Sungmin corrected. "But I guess I make up for you in the picture, huh, Jongwoon?"
"Get back here!" Jongwoon scrambled off the couch, and he began chasing Sungmin round the coffee table.
Jongwoon's finger traced Sungmin's figure longingly. You are such an idiot, Kim Jongwoon.
"For once, I have to agree with you," A loud, familiar voice called out.
Jongwoon gave a little start. As he quickly regained his composure, he looked up and found Youngwoon, a copywriter from his creative team, grinning at him.
"Oh, it's you," Jongwoon said, as he straightened up in his chair. "What do you want, Youngwoon?"
Youngwoon, who was perched on the edge of Jongwoon's desk, shrugged. Then, he said, "You look like shit today, Jongwoon."
"Yeah, well," Jongwoon shrugged as well. "I feel like shit, so I might as well look the part, right?"
Youngwoon gave Jongwoon a wry smile before he pushed himself off the desk and headed towards the door frame of Jongwoon's office. Halfway out of the office, he cast Jongwoon one last parting shot.
"If only you knew what he's going through."
Jongwoon spent the next three hours taking apart Youngwoon's cryptic sentence and dissecting each word, looking for the hidden meaning in them.
-
Slumping against the corner wall of staff pantry, Jongwoon sipped his lukewarm coffee in silence. With Youngwoon's words still ringing in his head, Jongwoon couldn't help but sense a feeling of dread in those words. Just who was this 'he' that Youngwoon was referring to?
-
When lunch break was almost over, Jongwoon stalked back silently to his office. Sullen and irritable, his hands kept itching to his back pocket, desperately seeking a pack of cigarettes. Groaning at his sudden dependance on the nicotine sticks, Jongwoon stopped in his tracks and leaned against the wall, covering his eyes with his forearm.
"You can't expect me to be the one to tell him. It's not right." Jongwoon could suddenly hear Youngwoon's voice echoing faintly from behind the door leading to the stairwell. He edged closer towards the door before pressing his ear against it.
"I know it's not right, Youngwoon, but he has to know one way or another." Another voice, one unfamiliar to Jongwoon's ears, responded.
"Jungsu, I can't be the one to tell him! Your cousin has to tell him."
Jungsu... Where did Jongwoon hear that name again? Right, Jungsu was Youngwoon's boyfriend. But why was he here at the advertising agency? Jongwoon couldn't shake away the feeling that there was more to Jungsu, he just couldn't recall what.
"But Sungmin," Jongwoon's heart stopped when he heard Jungsu mention his lover's name. "I know he can't. It's too much for him."
"How do you know that it's too much for him?" Youngwoon shot back, frustration creeping into his tone.
Jongwoon had had enough. Turning the doorknob, Jongwoon opened the door and burst into the stairwell. Jungsu and Youngwoon recoiled at his sudden action, their faces both frozen in shock.
"You're right," Jongwoon said quietly. "I don't want either one of you to tell me what's wrong with Sungmin. After work ends, you better lead me back to wherever you're keeping him so that I can have a proper talk with him."
Noting the dangerous edge in Jongwoon's voice, the both of them nodded, neither of them daring to defy him.
-
Sungmin had ran to his cousin's flat after his fight with Jongwoon. When Jungsu had opened his front door at the stroke of midnight, he certainly didn't expect to see his cousin, Sungmin, standing in his doorway.
"Sungmin, what happened?" Jungsu asked. Sungmin continued to stand there, his eyes downcast and his feet pawing awkwardly at the edge of the welcome mat.
"Sungmin," Jungsu said worriedly, arms stretching out to clutch Sungmin's shoulders. "What's wrong? Did something happen between you and Jongwoon?"
At the mere mention of Jongwoon's name, Sungmin shoulders began to shake. What started as faint trembles grew into violent, body racking shakes of his shoulders. Sungmin took a step forward and fell into Jungsu's waiting embrace, which was gentle and comforting like Sungmin had always remembered.
Resting his face in the crook of Jungsu's neck, Sungmin cried. As Jungsu calmly and quietly rubbed circles onto Sungmin's back, Sungmin cried freely, his hot tears dampening the elder's shirt.
"Jungsu, what's going on?" Youngwoon walked into the hallway, his hands rubbing his half-open eyes. His hands slowly fell to his sides when he saw his lover consoling someone familiar: his team leader's boyfriend.
"Hey," Youngwoon called out gently, when he was standing next to the two of them. "What did that idiotic Jongwoon do this time, huh?"
"Youngwoon!" Jungsu shot him a disapproving glare. "Let's not," He added crisply.
Hands on either of Sungmin's shoulders, Jungsu and Youngwoon led Sungmin to the guest room.
The next morning, Sungmin had explained to the both of them, over breakfast, about what had happened last night. While Jungsu maintained a calm, expressionless countenance as he listened to Sungmin, Youngwoon hardly contained his expression; his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were pursed in a thin line.
"I don't think it's fair that even your cousin's boyfriend knows about your condition while your own boyfriend is kept in the dark, Sungmin," Youngwoon said roughly. "I mean, I do agree that it was wrong of Jongwoon to snap at you like that, but he would have acted differently had he known about the physical state of your body."
"Youngwoon," Jungsu spoke up. "You only knew about Sungmin's condition when he had suddenly collapsed in front of you many years ago. When you helped me bring him to the hospital, I felt that it was only fair to inform you."
Youngwoon's spoon clattered loudly into his cereal bowl when it slipped from his fingers. "Like I said, I don't think it's fair that I know, while Jongwoon, Sungmin's own boyfriend, doesn't! Jungsu, it's not about whether it's fair for me!"
"I didn't imply that!" Jungsu's voice had raised into a shrill. "I only meant that it was fair during those circumstances, Youngwoon! I didn't bring Jongwoon into thi-"
"Stop."
The both of them paused and turned to Sungmin, who had been staring at his plate during the pair's entire exchange.
"I-I have to tell him," Sungmin mumbled, as he pushed away his fringe tiredly. "He deserves to know."
"Sungmin..." Jungsu's voice immediately softened. "I can help you if you need me to."
"No," was Sungmin's short reply. "I have to do this by myself, Jungsu-hyung."
-
When Sungmin heard the twisting of the key and the turn of the doorknob of Jungsu's and Youngwoon's apartment in the evening, he waited for the duo to walk into the living room to greet them. However, he was greeted with not two, but three familiar faces.
"Jongwoon?" Sungmin gasped, rising from the sofa when he had fully registered Jongwoon's features.
"Min," Jongwoon called out thickly as he walked towards Sungmin. Immediately, he pulled Sungmin into a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry," Jongwoon murmured softly. "I'm so, so sorry." Cradling Sungmin's face in his hands, Jongwoon shakily bent down and kissed Sungmin's forehead.
Sungmin's grip on the front of Jongwoon's shirt tightened and he buried in his face in Jongwoon's chest, relishing the familar warmth and scent of the other.
"You need to know, Jongwoon," Sungmin said sadly. "I'm going to tell you everything now."
Jongwoon pulled away and stared at Sungmin quietly. "Let's resume on the sofa, shall we?"
Jungsu wrapped an arm around Youngwoon's brawny arm and gave it a tug. "Let's leave them alone, Youngwoon," He whispered. Youngwoon nodded his assent and he allowed Jungsu to pull him into their bedroom.
When Jongwoon and Sungmin had settled on the sofa, Sungmin stared at their interlocked hands briefly before looking up at Jongwoon.
"I'm dying, Jongwoon. I have leukemia," Sungmin choked out. "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you this earlier."
Jongwoon was positively thunderstruck; his reaction was as if Sungmin's revelation had literally smacked him in the face. His eyes narrowed and his lips started to quiver.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier, Min?" Jongwoon's words didn't come across as an accusation, but more of a plea.
Bringing his hand up, Sungmin rubbed his eyes with his wrist, wiping away at the trickling hot tears. "I was scared that you would be angry when you found out the truth about me. I was scared you would leave me, Jongwoon. I was scared you didn't want to be with me anymore."
"Min..." Jongwoon let out a pained sigh. Scooting closer to Sungmin, he snaked his free hand around Sungmin's back and pulled him nearer.
"I won't leave you, Min. Ever."
"I'm so sorry, Jongwoon," Sungmin whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Jongwoon's grip on Sungmin's hand tightened and he brought his lips to Sungmin's temple once again, his nose in Sungmin's hair as he breathed in the scent of Sungmin's shampoo.
"I love you," Jongwoon breathed out, his eyes scrunched up as he tried to prevent his tears from falling.
Sungmin's free hand went round Jongwoon's waist, clutching at the back of Jongwoon's shirt firmly.
"I love you too."
Every day, every day, I wait.
Sungmin had stopped working at the library; even the stacking and rearranging of books was too taxing on his body. He spent his mornings in their apartment; carrying out simple chores, cooking dinner for the both of them and playing the occasional song on his guitar. His nights were spent in their bed; the thick blanket covering his slight frame as Jongwoon pulled him flush against his chest. Jongwoon draped his arms carefully around Sungmin's frail body, ensuring that he didn't leave bruises on Sungmin's pale, delicate skin.
Every night, just as he succumbed to his weariness, Sungmin checked off another day spent alive, another night to be spent in Jongwoon's embrace, another day closer to his demise.
Every day, Sungmin waited for his premature end; he knew that his time was near.
I won't even let the mirror see your reflection; covering you with white foam, I'll embrace your whole body.
Drenched by the sudden, torrential downpour, Jongwoon was a sopping mess as he stepped into the apartment, creating tiny puddles of water in his trail.
His attention brought by the slamming of the front door, Sungmin's curiosity heightened when he heard the sloshes and squelches Jongwoon made when he pulled off his leather shoes.
"Jongwoon!" Sungmin exclaimed upon seeing his lover dripping from head to toe.
"I'm fine," Jongwoon mumbled, bringing a hand to push back his fringe.
Sungmin made a noise of disapproval. "No, you're not!" Walking towards Jongwoon, Sungmin grabbed his elbow firmly and began half-dragging, half-directing him towards the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, Sungmin immediately made quick work of Jongwoon's wet clothes, which were clinging onto his skin, made sheer from the dampness. Jongwoon's eyes widened when Sungmin began taking off his own clothes as well.
"What on earth are you doing?" Jongwoon sputtered, his cheeks reddening at the sight of Sungmin stepping out of his sweatpants.
"I'm taking off my clothes," Sungmin rolled his eyes.
"I can see that!" Jongwoon shot back. "I don't see why you have to!"
Sungmin didn't say anything, giving Jongwoon a gentle push towards the bathtub. "Get inside, Jongwoon. I'll get the shampoo and soap."
Jongwoon did as he was told, and climbed bewilderedly into the bathtub. Sitting splay legged, Jongwoon watched as Sungmin plugged the bathtub and let the warm water run. His arms holding the shampoo and soap bottles against his chest, Sungmin stepped into the bathtub carefully and sat in between Jongwoon's legs. Pumping out some liquid from the shampoo bottle, Sungmin rubbed his hands together and began scrubbing Jongwoon's scalp. Jongwoon continued to sit bemusedly in his position, his eyes watching Sungmin's every action as the latter pulled his fingers through his hair and wiped away at the foam falling down Jongwoon's forehead, which was threatening to sting Jongwoon's eyes.
At Jongwoon's request, they soon changed their positions; Sungmin had his back against the wall, with Jongwoon seated in between his legs, his back facing Sungmin. Jongwoon couldn't help but lean back when he felt Sungmin's hands slipping around his waist. He hummed contentedly as both the warmth from the water and Sungmin's arms came into contact with his chest. Closing his eyes, Jongwoon allowed himself to slip into a semi-conscious state as he concentrated on Sungmin. The way Sungmin's fingers trailed delicately as he scrubbed Jongwoon's tired and tense skin, leaving white foam bubbles in their wake. The feel of Sungmin's soft cheek against his when Sungmin pressed his face against Jongwoon's, with Jongwoon relishing the slight warmth at the point of contact.
Strangely enough, even though Sungmin's actions were affectionate and dainty, Jongwoon couldn't help but feel secure in Sungmin's loose hold. Probably how he had felt when I had held him those many months ago on the bus, Jongwoon mused. Then, he shook his head. There was something in Sungmin's hold that wasn't present in his own those many months ago. It was their mutual understanding. There was a mutual, unspoken understanding and trust between them.
Without any airs of apprehension, Jongwoon was able to completely sink in Sungmin's arms. Jongwoon could feel the tension in his body ebbing away as Sungmin rubbed soothing circles onto his back.
Jongwoon threw his head back and sighed blissfully. Sungmin simply smiled and pressed his lips softly to Jongwoon's cheek.
Goodbye, obvious scent. Goodbye, obvious love.
Jongwoon could feel himself stirring. The constant creaking of the bed springs was slowly bringing him into consciousness, to the realisation that the other occupant of the bed was awake.
"Min," Jongwoon called out sleepily, one of his hands swiping in front of him feebly. "Min, what's wrong..."
"Jongwoon," Sungmin croaked in between convulsive gasps. "Jongwoon..."
Jongwoon's eyes shot wide open in horror, all traces of drowsiness disappearing at the sight of Sungmin writhing uncomfortably next to him. Scrambling off the bed, Jongwoon grabbed his cell phone and began pressing the numbers of the emergency hotline frantically.
"H-hello?" Jongwoon stammered once the dial tone was lifted. "This is Kim Jongwoon. My lover, my lover, Lee Sungmin- There's something wrong with him! Send an ambulance over! Immediately! P-please, I beg of you!"
Once he was done telling the operator their address, Jongwoon chucked the cell phone absently onto the bed and made his way towards Sungmin, who was clenching the bedsheets tightly as he gasped for air.
"Min, please," Jongwoon begged, slipping his fingers in between Sungmin's, shakily pulling his and Sungmin's intertwined hands to his lips. "Stay with me. Just for a while more."
"I'm sorry, Jongwoon. I think my time here is up," Sungmin breathed out jerkily.
"No!" Jongwoon cried out. "Fight it, Min! You're strong. You're stronger than me. You always have been."
Sungmin managed to keep his eyes half-open as he stared back at Jongwoon sadly, a desolate smile playing on his chapped lips.
"I love you," Sungmin gasped, his hand trembling slightly in Jongwoon's firm grip. "And don't you ever forget it."
"You'll never let me," Jongwoon chuckled, his breaths dislodged from his throat with much difficulty. His fear of losing Sungmin, which was very much real at that moment, was paralysing him, choking him.
Jongwoon bent down, bringing his quivering lips to Sungmin's forehead. The normal, usual warmth was gone; it was replaced with a cold, unfamiliar clamminess.
Then, it finally happened. Sungmin's cold hand slipped out of Jongwoon's grip. Jongwoon cried out in alarm, his moist eyes immediately searching Sungmin's body for any signs of life. Sungmin's chest had stopped heaving, his eyelids were shut and he was no longer trashing about; instead, his body lay eerily still.
The silence in the apartment was quickly broken by Jongwoon's pained, agonised wails.
Making sure no one else can have you, I'll cover you with me; you can't get rid of my scent.
It had been two weeks since the funeral, and Jongwoon was finally coming to terms with Sungmin's death. Life had to go on as usual. No more Sungmin answering the door in the evening, no more Sungmin to eat dinner with, no more Sungmin to hug and kiss and laugh with.
No more Sungmin.
However, Jongwoon soon found a sanctuary, a place that reminded him of Sungmin the most.
It wasn't the bus stop, where they had first met.
It wasn't the library, where they had shared their first kiss.
It wasn't their bed, where they had spent so many nights together, locked in each others' embrace and ultimately, had their last moment together.
It was their bathroom. The bathtub, to be specific.
Every day, after coming back from work, Jongwoon lets the bathtub fill with warm water as he divested himself of all articles of clothing.
As Jongwoon sinks into the water, he sighs as he feels the warm fluid surrounding him, making his body feel light. The shampoo Jongwoon uses, the exact same one that Sungmin had always used, reminds him of Sungmin, and he smiles pensively as its scent rises, filling the entire bathroom with the familiar smell.
The scent definitely couldn't replace Sungmin. But it reminded Jongwoon of him, and that was enough. It was enough for Jongwoon to carry on with his life.
***
A/N: ...The things that YeMin make me do. .______. I hate angst. I abhor character death. Yet, I was this close to killing Jongwoon, getting him to drown himself in the bathtub. ;~;
This is a lame attempt of a tribute to After School's 'Shampoo', which in my opinion, is an awesome song and it totally deserved awards. Now that their promotions are over, it's too bad. ):
I'm going off on a holiday tomorrow and I'll be back on Sunday. So see you guys~
Comments are appreciated! (:
Edit: Because I rushed all the way after Jongwoon's confession (fail self), I just want to explain how Sungmin died in this fic. Sungmin suffered from leukemia, and as a result, his immune system was drastically weakened. Ultimately, he died of pneumonia. (Lol yes, I don't even know if I got my medical terms and information and whatnot correctly, so please accept this.)
Also, I'm attaching a link to a video containing the subs to 'Shampoo'! (:
Click to view