One shot - What if
Title: What if
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG
Length: ~2000
Genre: Fluff, slice of life
Disclaimer: Fiction! :)
Summary: When Nino gets doubts about his life choices, he doesn't know what to do. But Ohno and Sho are on it!
Nino wakes up in a sweat, the images from his dream still dancing in front of his eyes. The pulse in his ears is deafening and drowns out his own gasps.
“Kazu?” A familiar voice calls sleepily.
But Nino is still too shaken up from his dream to register. He is sat upright in his and Ohno’s bed, his t-shirt stuck to his chest from all the perspiration.
“What- should I do?” Nino lets out hurriedly, just loud enough for his boyfriend to hear him. “Was if… What if it’s all a mistake?”
“Hey, it’s alright.” A steady arm lands on the trembling narrow shoulders and pulls him into the comfort of an embrace.
“Oh-chan.”
“That’s me.”
“I just dreamt-”
“The same as last time?”
A pause and a nod.
“It’s fine. It was just a dream.” Ohno whispers reassuringly.
Nino nods and relaxes slightly.
“I just… I wish I could stop worrying. All those thoughts. Thinking too much.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out, take it step by step.”
With these calming words, Nino feels his heartbeat slowing back to a normal speed and his fists loosening.
* * * * *
“So I want to do something to help him. What do you think would help, Sho-chan?”
“But what was the dream about? It’s pretty vague if you just say it was a nightmare…”
Ohno hesitates. He wants some ideas to help Nino but is unsure as to how much to reveal.
But this is Sho.
“Basically… He has been thinking too much about the future and has developed a fear of regrets.”
Sho frowns slightly. “A fear of regrets?”
The older man nods. “He’s been dreaming that… he gets to the age of retirement and feels like he has… wasted his life…” he explains, wincing at the last three words.
“I see,” Sho murmurs thoughtfully. He paces around the archives room where Ohno has brought him, for fear of being overheard. After a few minutes he stops in front of the leader of their group.
“Ok. It seems to me like he needs a change of pace, some fresh air and to consider new perspectives. It has been manic the last couple of months with the new album… ”
“That sounds good, but how?”
“By taking a short break somewhere outside of the city.”
Ohno sighed and shook his head. “Again, it sounds great but how?! We’ve been so busy, how can he get out of the city even for just a few hours? You know we have back-to-back responsibilities.”
Sho nods but smiles. “I didn’t say it would be easy, but I have an idea to buy you guys some free time.”
“Me too?”
The rapper laughed. “Of course! You don’t expect Nino to leave willingly do you?”
“Ah. I guess not…”
“So here’s what we’re going to do…”
* * *
“Nino!” Sho shouts as he bursts through the door and into the break room.
The young man looks up in surprise from his game console.
“What’s up Sho-chan?” Aiba asks getting up from the sofa. Even Jun has stopped reading his drama script, frowning at the urgent tone in Sho’s
voice.
Sho ignores both of them, quickly walks over to Nino and pulls him to his feet.
“You need to come quickly!!! Oh-chan is in trouble!!!”
Not needing to hear it twice, the gamer drops his game into his chair and hurries out of the room with the older man.
They have been driving for about 15min in Sho's car down the city streets when Nino takes a deep breath.
“What is it Sho?! I’ve been too scared to ask until now, but I can’t wait anymore! What’s wrong with Oh-chan?! Is he hurt?” he asks without taking
a breath.
“Don’t worry, he’s not hurt.”
“Then what?!”
“Wait, I need to focus on the road.” Sho answers distractedly.
Nino frowns, he has a feeling that maybe he’s been tricked.
“Sho-chan… How come you had your car at the studio? You always come by train…”
Sho’s lips twitch and he slows the car to a halt as they reach a quiet street facing a peaceful park covered with a thin layer of frost.
“I am so glad you didn’t ask me before you got into the car…” The older bandmate answers with a grin.
“What does that mean?” Nino’s scowl goes deeper. “Why did you have to make me worry about Oh-chan?!”
“Because otherwise he said you weren’t going to come along!” A voice suddenly erupts from the back of the car.
Nino spins in his seat. “Oh-chan??!!!” he exclaims in surprise.
The band leader emerges from beneath blankets Sho had placed around and above him to hide him in the back of the car. He has an embarrassed expression.
“Sorry Kazu… It’s just… I’ve been really worried about you, so Sho came up with the idea for us to go take a break somewhere”, he explains as he gets into a seated position and slides closer to Nino’s seat. “I really didn’t mean to make your worried.”
Nino frowns but stays quiet.
Sho claps his hands once to attract their attention, a satisfied smile on his face. “Great! So, I leave it to you, Ridaa”, he says as he opens his door.
“How are you getting back?” Ohno asks curiously.
“Don’t worry about me.” Sho smiles. “I’m a fan of trains.” He explains as he puts on his winter coat, a pair of sunglasses, a scarf and a cap.
With this, he strolls off happily towards the metro station.
There’s silence for a while, while Nino digests the situation.
Ohno knows him well enough to know that it’s better to wait quietly while this happens. At least for now. So he quietly gets into the driver's seat and starts the engine.
They drive through the huge metropolis, the glass skyscrapers and grey buildings flying by Nino’s vision as he leans his forehead against the cold window.
He’s angry at Ohno for doing this without asking him first, but at the same time he knows that he would have refused. And as hard as it is to admit it, he feels relief to be going away from the stress and bustle of Tokyo. He loves the city but it is also where he works and recently that is mostly a cause of stress for him…
After what feels like an eternity, they finally reach the less densely populated areas and the muddy fields, stretching out under a huge blue sky.
“Ok, we’re out of the city. Where are you planning to go now?”
Ohno grins. “To Chiba! To the sea!”
Nino raises an eyebrow. “I know it’s sunny today, but it’s still winter Oh-chan. And also… what about our jobs?!”
“Sho-chan is taking care of it. Don’t worry. They’ll survive a couple of days without us.”
“But it’s a breach of contract!” Nino exclaims.
“According to Sho, we are allowed to take a sick leave.”
Nino frowns. “But we’re not sick…”
“Well they don’t know that…”
Nino sighs but feels a little calmer. “You know we’re not supposed to do that…”
“I also know that you’re not in a good place right now and I want to help you and I think this will help.”
Nino opens his mouth to answer, but closes it again as he realises he doesn’t know what to say. He feels a strong mix of emotions: gratitude, touched that Ohno would go this far, but also some fear of confronting his recent thoughts. But if there’s anyone that can help him, it’s definitely Ohno. So he settles more comfortably in his seat and tries to relax by listening to the radio and watching the scenery go by.
*
“Kazu.”
Nino stirs and slowly starts to blink.
“Hey sleepyhead.” Ohno murmurs with a chuckle.
“I wasn’t sleeping!” Nino quickly says sitting straighter and looking around.
Ohno laughs. “Sure. Anyway, look where we are!”
“Why are we at the beach?”
“Because the beach is awesome! And this one is called Ichinomiya!! So, I thought it was funny, because you know: Ninomiya... and so I decided to come here.”
Nino raises an eyebrow and Ohno’s randomness but doesn’t comment. He pushes open the door and steps out.
The cold and salty air hits his face the way that only ocean air can. As he walks away from the car and towards the blue horizon, it feels like the fresh wind is cleaning out his lungs. It’s almost like he had forgotten what pure air felt like. It just has been so long since he’s been out of the city.
He closes his eyes and lets the gusts of wind go straight through him, hoping that they will take his trouble away. But after a few moments he starts to shake. It is February after all.
“Want this?” Ohno’s voice comes from behind him and he turns to find the older man holding his coat and what looks like a huge scarf.
Nino smiles and nods.
They start walking along the beach.
For a while they don’t say anything, just appreciating each others’ company and the soothing sound of waves rolling onto the sand.
It’s not the most beautiful beach Nino reflects, but it does have a homey feel to it. And it’s nice to imagine that Aiba could have come here as a child.
Nino points this out and Ohno laughs lightly.
They both imagine for a moment Aiba as a kid running along the beach and splashing around in the waves, and they can’t supress a smile.
Before long however, Nino feels his stomach clenching and of course, it growls loudly. He rolls his eyes.
“Hungry?” Ohno asks with a smile.
“Well, I can’t say ‘no’ now, can I?”
“Let’s go sit over there.” Ohno says pointing to a point higher up the beach that is sheltered from the wind by a few sailboats that have been left there to hibernate over the winter.
From the backpack he was carrying, Ohno pulls out two blankets.
“One to sit on and one to wrap around us!” Ohno states proudly.
Nino raises an eyebrow. “You’re not usually that organised… Did Sho pack that bag?”
Ohno grins sheepishly. “Ok fine, he did, but it was my idea to also bring sandwiches!”
Nino laughs. “Of course it was, you are always organised when it comes to food!”
Ohno bumps his shoulder against Nino’s and shrugs. “Do you want one or not?”
“Yes, yes.”
They sit, wrap the blanket around the both of them and enjoy the food in a relaxed silence. For a moment the only sound comes from the water moving up and down the sand.
Once the food is done, Ohno clears his throat.
“I’m gonna say something and I’d like you to let me finish before you say something.”
Nino nods slowly, unsure of what to expect.
The older man takes a deep breath and starts. “I want you to know that no matter what, you can be proud of what you’ve done… what you’ve achieved. It might not be exactly what you were expecting, but now you should make the most of it so that you can be proud when you look back.”
He takes a small breath but doesn’t dare glance to his boyfriend, in fear that he’ll chicken-out of finishing his speech.
“Don’t worry about the future. It will come soon enough. I can guarantee that the ‘future you’ is saying that you should have fun for now. And no matter what, I’ll be by your side; whether Arashi stays together until we’re 80 or even if it ends earlier. We’ll take the decisions we have to when the time comes. There’s no point worrying about it now.”
Feeling relieved he said all he wanted, Ohno looks at Nino, signalling he’s done.
The young man is looking up at him with a worried expression.
“But what if I regret being an idol completely? What if I don’t feel fulfilled with that?”
Ohno frowns slightly. “You need to act following how you feel now! If you feel unfulfilled now, then yes, you should stop. But is that how you feel right now??
“No.”
“How do you feel about what you do?”
“I’m… happy. I’m happy with it.” he says hesitantly. As if he was considering this for the first time.
“Would you do something differently if you could go back in time?”
“No." This time his voice sounds certain. "It hasn’t always been easy but… I wouldn’t want anything different.”
“Well then, 'future Nino' will have to be happy with that. You need to stop treating him like an older relative you’re trying to impress.”
Nino smiles a little at that comparison.
“Live for the ‘now you’! Not the ‘future you’ that you don’t even know yet! You don’t know what you’ll want then. You know what you want now, so focus on that.”
Nino opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it. He tilts his head and looks out into the distance, so Ohno knows he’s really thinking about it.
He thinks for such a long time, that Ohno has put his head on his shoulder and begun to feel very sleepy.
Finally he breaks the silence. “Ok.”
“Ok?” Ohno asks slowly getting back to his senses.
“I’ll do that. I’ll stop worrying about the future”, Nino explains and smiles. "I'm going to try focusing more on the present and hopefully the future will be ok."
Ohno smiles back at him and hugs him tight. “Of course, you’ll be fine.”
“I know. I have you,” Nino says softly and hugs Ohno back.
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Heya!! It's been... a while! :D
Don't be too harsh as I stretch my very rusty writing muscles! :3
But let me know if you liked it!