One shot - Over you
Title: Over You
Pairing: broken sakumiya
Rating: PG
Length: One shot
Genre: Romance and mild-angst
Disclaimer: Fiction! :)
Summary: We were high school sweethearts. I can’t believe it’s already been 4 years since we broke up. Well. Since I broke us up.
A/N : Hey guys, something completely different, in the form of a journal entry by Nino. Inspired by the song Over You by Ingrid Michaelson and A Great Big World.
*
11/08/15
Though it was 9 years ago, I remember clearly the first time I saw Sho. We were just 13 and yet it feels like yesterday. We were sitting next to each other in chemistry class, and I remember thinking: wow, he looks friendly.
“Hi, I’m Kazunari.”
“Call me Sho.” He’d replied with a smile.
We were in the same group of friends and spent a lot of time together. We quickly became good friends. It felt like we were just on the same wavelength. Not that we agreed on everything, but we both enjoyed speaking to each other so much that the conversations flowed easily.
After a while, speaking at school wasn’t enough. We began chatting online. We’d spend hours in the evening, typing away at our computers. We spoke of everything and nothing. Of outer space and the sea. Of music and films. He liked to speak of science and I preferred the arts. We joked around and teased each other constantly. We argued and defended our respective favourite football teams.
I wonder if he ever thinks of those pages and pages of conversations...
The first time he asked me out, I completely panicked. It wasn’t even like he asked me to be his boyfriend or anything. He just wanted to be my date at a dancing evening the school was organising and I told him I just didn’t know... He didn’t press on.
We were still friends and continued like nothing had happened.
About a year later, he confessed. But no pressure, Nino. He quickly added.
I remember how my hands trembled as I confronted him a few days later.
I had decided to reject him. The truth was, the idea of a relationship with him terrified me... I suppose I was scared of losing his precious friendship. And maybe also because I felt I could not match the affection he had for me. I could see how much he liked me. It just felt like too much pressure.
Sorry, Sho. I don’t want to go out with you.
We were in one of the music rooms at school, and I said my prepared line quickly.
I got back out and walked away as fast as I could. I remember my heart pounding. When a friend told me later she’d seen him crying, I felt like my world was crashing down on me. I’d made my closest friend cry.
Time passed. He dated a few people, it never lasted very long, but he seemed happy. And for that I was happy. Slowly we started talking again, and our friendship continued. It was nearly the same as it had been, and I told myself I was happy to have my friend back, and that was all there was to it.
In the meantime I’d started getting closer to someone else in our group of friends. Ikura. He was good friends with Sho as well, but I didn’t think anything of it. Eventually I started dating that friend. He was charismatic and had dated quite a few people I knew around the school. We didn’t talk as much as I used to talk with Sho, but I enjoyed spending time with him. There’s something about someone that confident. Even if you know he is a bit like a player.
What I didn’t expect was Sho’s reaction. When he found out, he got incredibly angry. We stopped talking for a while. He was hurt. And I pretended I didn’t know why.
My relationship with Ikura barely lasted a month. I could see it coming. He’d started flirting around and distanced himself from me. I used to like that he took our relationship lightly. That he wasn’t too serious about it. Basically: that he was the opposite of Sho.
But this playfulness ending up turning on me. I asked him if he still liked me, knowing the answer in advance. He hadn’t answered any of my text messages in two weeks. He shook his head, and we broke up. Though I did not love him, he had been a crush. And it did hurt at the time.
More time passed. Ikura moved away and Sho and I started speaking again.
It had been 4 years since we had met and after all that time, I finally realized I’d loved him all along. Sho was the person I always wanted to talk to; about anything. The person I always laughed with. The one I loved just spending time with.
Of course we would have saved some time if we started going out the first time he confessed. But I was just so intimidated by how much he liked me back then, and I didn’t want to lose his friendship. That was why the relationship with Ikura had been so easy. In a strange way it was easier to go out with someone whom I knew didn’t really like me, rather than the one I actually wanted.
Feeling very embarrassed, I confessed to him in the middle of our last year of high school. The happiness I felt afterwards and I saw mirrored in his expression was worth all the hurt and all the time lost.
The 6 months we were together were some of the best I’ve had. I remember blue skies and sitting in the grass with him, just wishing time would stop. I remember his strong arms holding me close. He was so warm, so kind. And after we graduated, after the summer finished, I ended it all.
We were both going to study in different universities in different parts of the country, and I didn’t want to try a long distance relationship. I felt that if I could only see him once or twice a month, it would not work, I would not be able to live with it. I just couldn’t believe that it would last, and decided to break it up before it could break down by itself.
Sho argued, saying we should try it. But I had made my decision, and in the end he respected it. We kept in touch at the beginning. We shared the excitements of discovering university life. But after a while, the messages became briefer. When I found out he was dating someone new I cried myself to sleep. I knew it would happen eventually, but that didn’t make it any less painful.
Four years passed. We saw each other a few times, but eventually we completely lost touch.
Now we’ve finished university. We are about to start our lives as proper adults... Getting jobs. Moving on from university. Memories of high school far, far away...
But they are not that far to me. Because the truth is, the scars are still visible. It’s been a year and a half since I last saw him. I heard that he’s got long-term boyfriend. That he’s going to look for a job abroad. I am glad for him. Really. I do want him to be happy.
But the truth is, in those four years I never met anyone else that I’ve felt the same way about. There were some nice guys here and there, but with none of them I could have the same endless conversations. None of them looked at me the same way he did. And so the regrets started coming in. Why didn’t I try that long distance? What if it had worked? There is no way to ever know.
And it’s definitely unfair to feel this way, and I feel guilty for it, because I was the one that broke us up. And he’s got a boyfriend now. He’s moved on. And it’s a good thing. And if I had met someone I would not feel this way. But I didn’t. And our story keeps spinning in my head, again, and again, on repeat.
Over the last few years I’ve felt like I was over him a few times. But now it’s been four years. And the thing is. I still think about him. I haven’t spoken to him in so long, now I don’t even know how he is. He’s probably changed. I know I have. We’re not teenagers anymore. If I keep telling myself I am over him, maybe it will really happen. Maybe I will stop thinking about that chemistry class. Maybe I will stop remembering those online conversations. Maybe I won’t think about that caring look he gave me.
But what do you do when you don’t meet someone else? When you keep hoping to find the same thing you used to have? Or at least something like it?
He’s moved on. And I haven’t. But all I can do is tell myself: I am over him. That I am just thinking about our story because I haven’t met someone else. Not yet.
But I will. I will meet someone else.
I am over him.
Ninomiya Kazunari
*
Nino put his pen down and stretched his tired hand. He glanced at his watch. It was nearly 3 am. He sighed. He was happy to have finally put these words down on paper. He had been thinking about it more and more these past weeks.
He turned off the lights and let himself fall on the mattress. Though it was a Saturday, he couldn’t sleep the whole of the next day. He’d promised he would meet Aiba for lunch. He really wanted Nino to meet someone.
Nino turned over under his blanket, feeling sleep pulling him in.
What was the name of that guy Aiba had told him about?
Ohno something...
***********************
*****************
***********
*****
**
Hey everyone! So yes that was completely different to what I usually write, but that song by Ingrid Michaelson inspired me. Did you know it? It’s really beautiful. Anyway, it made me think of high school romance for some reason, and so I came up with this. Couldn’t help include some ohmiya at the end for poor Nino. I wanted to say: Hold on Nino! It’s gonna get better! Haha okay enough rambling.
Please leave comments as they are always loved~ ^ω^
Pairing: broken sakumiya
Rating: PG
Length: One shot
Genre: Romance and mild-angst
Disclaimer: Fiction! :)
Summary: We were high school sweethearts. I can’t believe it’s already been 4 years since we broke up. Well. Since I broke us up.
A/N : Hey guys, something completely different, in the form of a journal entry by Nino. Inspired by the song Over You by Ingrid Michaelson and A Great Big World.
*
11/08/15
Though it was 9 years ago, I remember clearly the first time I saw Sho. We were just 13 and yet it feels like yesterday. We were sitting next to each other in chemistry class, and I remember thinking: wow, he looks friendly.
“Hi, I’m Kazunari.”
“Call me Sho.” He’d replied with a smile.
We were in the same group of friends and spent a lot of time together. We quickly became good friends. It felt like we were just on the same wavelength. Not that we agreed on everything, but we both enjoyed speaking to each other so much that the conversations flowed easily.
After a while, speaking at school wasn’t enough. We began chatting online. We’d spend hours in the evening, typing away at our computers. We spoke of everything and nothing. Of outer space and the sea. Of music and films. He liked to speak of science and I preferred the arts. We joked around and teased each other constantly. We argued and defended our respective favourite football teams.
I wonder if he ever thinks of those pages and pages of conversations...
The first time he asked me out, I completely panicked. It wasn’t even like he asked me to be his boyfriend or anything. He just wanted to be my date at a dancing evening the school was organising and I told him I just didn’t know... He didn’t press on.
We were still friends and continued like nothing had happened.
About a year later, he confessed. But no pressure, Nino. He quickly added.
I remember how my hands trembled as I confronted him a few days later.
I had decided to reject him. The truth was, the idea of a relationship with him terrified me... I suppose I was scared of losing his precious friendship. And maybe also because I felt I could not match the affection he had for me. I could see how much he liked me. It just felt like too much pressure.
Sorry, Sho. I don’t want to go out with you.
We were in one of the music rooms at school, and I said my prepared line quickly.
I got back out and walked away as fast as I could. I remember my heart pounding. When a friend told me later she’d seen him crying, I felt like my world was crashing down on me. I’d made my closest friend cry.
Time passed. He dated a few people, it never lasted very long, but he seemed happy. And for that I was happy. Slowly we started talking again, and our friendship continued. It was nearly the same as it had been, and I told myself I was happy to have my friend back, and that was all there was to it.
In the meantime I’d started getting closer to someone else in our group of friends. Ikura. He was good friends with Sho as well, but I didn’t think anything of it. Eventually I started dating that friend. He was charismatic and had dated quite a few people I knew around the school. We didn’t talk as much as I used to talk with Sho, but I enjoyed spending time with him. There’s something about someone that confident. Even if you know he is a bit like a player.
What I didn’t expect was Sho’s reaction. When he found out, he got incredibly angry. We stopped talking for a while. He was hurt. And I pretended I didn’t know why.
My relationship with Ikura barely lasted a month. I could see it coming. He’d started flirting around and distanced himself from me. I used to like that he took our relationship lightly. That he wasn’t too serious about it. Basically: that he was the opposite of Sho.
But this playfulness ending up turning on me. I asked him if he still liked me, knowing the answer in advance. He hadn’t answered any of my text messages in two weeks. He shook his head, and we broke up. Though I did not love him, he had been a crush. And it did hurt at the time.
More time passed. Ikura moved away and Sho and I started speaking again.
It had been 4 years since we had met and after all that time, I finally realized I’d loved him all along. Sho was the person I always wanted to talk to; about anything. The person I always laughed with. The one I loved just spending time with.
Of course we would have saved some time if we started going out the first time he confessed. But I was just so intimidated by how much he liked me back then, and I didn’t want to lose his friendship. That was why the relationship with Ikura had been so easy. In a strange way it was easier to go out with someone whom I knew didn’t really like me, rather than the one I actually wanted.
Feeling very embarrassed, I confessed to him in the middle of our last year of high school. The happiness I felt afterwards and I saw mirrored in his expression was worth all the hurt and all the time lost.
The 6 months we were together were some of the best I’ve had. I remember blue skies and sitting in the grass with him, just wishing time would stop. I remember his strong arms holding me close. He was so warm, so kind. And after we graduated, after the summer finished, I ended it all.
We were both going to study in different universities in different parts of the country, and I didn’t want to try a long distance relationship. I felt that if I could only see him once or twice a month, it would not work, I would not be able to live with it. I just couldn’t believe that it would last, and decided to break it up before it could break down by itself.
Sho argued, saying we should try it. But I had made my decision, and in the end he respected it. We kept in touch at the beginning. We shared the excitements of discovering university life. But after a while, the messages became briefer. When I found out he was dating someone new I cried myself to sleep. I knew it would happen eventually, but that didn’t make it any less painful.
Four years passed. We saw each other a few times, but eventually we completely lost touch.
Now we’ve finished university. We are about to start our lives as proper adults... Getting jobs. Moving on from university. Memories of high school far, far away...
But they are not that far to me. Because the truth is, the scars are still visible. It’s been a year and a half since I last saw him. I heard that he’s got long-term boyfriend. That he’s going to look for a job abroad. I am glad for him. Really. I do want him to be happy.
But the truth is, in those four years I never met anyone else that I’ve felt the same way about. There were some nice guys here and there, but with none of them I could have the same endless conversations. None of them looked at me the same way he did. And so the regrets started coming in. Why didn’t I try that long distance? What if it had worked? There is no way to ever know.
And it’s definitely unfair to feel this way, and I feel guilty for it, because I was the one that broke us up. And he’s got a boyfriend now. He’s moved on. And it’s a good thing. And if I had met someone I would not feel this way. But I didn’t. And our story keeps spinning in my head, again, and again, on repeat.
Over the last few years I’ve felt like I was over him a few times. But now it’s been four years. And the thing is. I still think about him. I haven’t spoken to him in so long, now I don’t even know how he is. He’s probably changed. I know I have. We’re not teenagers anymore. If I keep telling myself I am over him, maybe it will really happen. Maybe I will stop thinking about that chemistry class. Maybe I will stop remembering those online conversations. Maybe I won’t think about that caring look he gave me.
But what do you do when you don’t meet someone else? When you keep hoping to find the same thing you used to have? Or at least something like it?
He’s moved on. And I haven’t. But all I can do is tell myself: I am over him. That I am just thinking about our story because I haven’t met someone else. Not yet.
But I will. I will meet someone else.
I am over him.
Ninomiya Kazunari
*
Nino put his pen down and stretched his tired hand. He glanced at his watch. It was nearly 3 am. He sighed. He was happy to have finally put these words down on paper. He had been thinking about it more and more these past weeks.
He turned off the lights and let himself fall on the mattress. Though it was a Saturday, he couldn’t sleep the whole of the next day. He’d promised he would meet Aiba for lunch. He really wanted Nino to meet someone.
Nino turned over under his blanket, feeling sleep pulling him in.
What was the name of that guy Aiba had told him about?
Ohno something...
***********************
*****************
***********
*****
**
Hey everyone! So yes that was completely different to what I usually write, but that song by Ingrid Michaelson inspired me. Did you know it? It’s really beautiful. Anyway, it made me think of high school romance for some reason, and so I came up with this. Couldn’t help include some ohmiya at the end for poor Nino. I wanted to say: Hold on Nino! It’s gonna get better! Haha okay enough rambling.
Please leave comments as they are always loved~ ^ω^