[Fic] I Have Kept You In My Heart - 15.1
Title : [Fic] I Have Kept You In My Heart (15 part 1)
Pairing : Ohno/Jun, Sho/Nino, Aiba/Becky, Ohno/Nino, Eventual Jun/?
Rating : R
Summary : AU. Before Jun, there was only Nino. The man Ohno loved with everything he had, loved with such ferocity that any other emotion would pale in comparison. He was Ohno's everything, the love of his life, the person Ohno dreamed of sharing his whole life with someday. Until Nino's untimely death, six years ago.
Word count : around 1630 words
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Warning : Angst in large doses. Memory loss. Minor character death. One-sided love.
Note : Working my way through this one too. Hope you enjoy <3
(This fic is also available in AO3)
(I Have Kept You In My Heart - 14)
“So, that’s how it is, huh,” Jun muttered under his breath, looking at him with contempt even when his expression remained unchanged. “I turn around and you go running back to him as if - as if the past six years didn’t happen?”
He honestly didn’t know what else to say - he’d been shut down over and over, and any and all attempt he’d made to explain himself were simply ignored - and he was just, god, he was just so, so tired. He knew how much he’d hurt Jun - how much he was still hurting Jun now that he couldn’t even come up with a proper reply to let Jun know he didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but he was at this point where he felt like what they have, what they were to each other, was beyond fixing now.
He took a sip of the vending machine coffee he’d indulged Jun earlier, barely tasting it.
“I didn’t,” he said, after a long moment, “It’s not what you think it is.”
“Really?” Jun breathed, tone brimming with malice. He was only half-glad that Jun wasn’t shouting, or didn’t seem like he was half-way there. He seemed to have a better control of himself now than he did right after the accident.
“Are you saying you aren’t together? That you didn’t come here together, or that it’s just a stupid coincidence? You were pushing his fucking wheelchair, yfor fuck’s sake. Don’t take me for a fool, Satoshi; we’re way past all that ridiculous lies you keep on throwing at me when all I want is for you to be honest with me, just for once. Can’t you at least give me that much?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do since - since after the accident, and just before you left,” he sighed, wondering how long they would do this until one of them end up broken. “But you won’t listen to me.”
“Because you keep on lying to me!” Jun hissed. “Fuck, I - I give up. I swear I don’t know why we’re even talking. This - This is obviously not going anywhere, and I’m just so fucking tired of everything. I - Fuck this. Fuck!” Jun swore, shaking his head and throwing him a look that spoke volume, before turned around and walked away.
He had no strength left in him to stop Jun, or even follow him, so he just stayed put, staring after him silently hoping for that day when it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did now, most of all for Jun.
He honestly wished that for everyone involved, for Jun, for him and for Nino, too, only because he knew this wouldn’t end here.
Not yet, at least.
+
The session wasn’t as brutal as he imagined it, but he guessed that was because the doctor said forcing himself wouldn’t do him any good. We’d have to take it slow, Sakurai-Sensei had said, even though he’d rather do the opposite. But he knew it was just the frustration talking, more than anything, and he knew better than to give in to it. Still, it didn’t mean he had no right to feel this way, and he guessed that part was perfectly normal given the circumstances and the doctor had readily agreed to it when he brought the matter up.
“In other cases, I must say that the patient’s frustration usually speeds the recovery, but I don’t think that’s going to be the same with you, no offense meant.” Was what Sakurai-Sensei had said afterwards, sounding rather apologetic even though they both knew the doctor was right. Nino at least had the sense to shut his mouth and just listen to what the doctor had to say.
“We just need to follow this pace and I’m sure you’ll be better in no time,” Sakurai-Sensei announced cheerfully, as he helped him back to his wheelchair with ease. Nino was grateful for him, for taking care of him all these years (as what his mother told him) and for still doing the same now.
“The initial XRAY reports showed no sign of any permanent damage, so we’re just going for muscle training for now. You’ve been bedridden for six years, Ninomiya-san. It’s no wonder the muscles on your lower back and legs would be the ones to suffer. It would be like learning how to walk again, and you will, soon. I promise you that.”
He chuckled, affected by the doctor’s giddiness. He wondered if all doctors were like Sakurai-Sensei, and if not, he was more than a little glad Sakurai-Sensei was his. Amused by how that actually sounded even in his head, he shook his head and smiled to himself.
That was, until he realized they had company.
“I’ll take it from here, Sensei,” Ohno-san grunted by way of greeting, eyes dark they were almost completely black as he darted his glance between Nino and the doctor. The doctor’s lips twitched as if he wanted to say something, but stopped himself short seeing the expression on Ohno-san’s face.
For a moment there, Nino wondered what happened while he was gone because Ohno-san sure looked like he’d been to hell and back and was still reeling bitterly from the experience.
It shouldn’t matter to him - hell, he didn’t even know this guy, right? - but his heart obviously had a mind of its own. He was frowning hard and curling his fingers around the nearest part of Ohno-san he could reach - Ohno-san’s elbow, it seemed - and started tugging before he even realized what he was doing.
“Um, did something happen?” he asked. He honestly expected to be brushed off, especially with the way Ohno-san regarded him with a hard glance, but what he didn’t expect was the quick and yet tender swipe of Ohno-san’s fingers against his cheek. He was startled but he did his best to hide it by lowering his head.
“Nothing that you should be worried about,” Ohno-san murmured, stooping for a moment to squeeze his chin, before rounding the way to take the wheelchair duty from Sakurai-Sensei. “You’re good to go, right? Yeah, okay. Please excuse us, Sensei.” Ohno-san said.
Nino at least remembered his manners at the last minute, glancing back and tilting his head towards the doctor who looked not the slightest bit pleased. He couldn’t exactly blame him, but given the circumstances and the way his own heart was behaving towards Ohno-san’s obvious malaise, he couldn’t even find it in him to feel properly ashamed of himself as he remained quiet when Ohno-san started pushing his wheelchair towards the nearest elevator.
+
Kazue followed her mother to her room without a word after she gestured her to come with. She was quiet all morning, and Kazue had a feeling she was trying her best to ignore her distaste about the whole situation if only so she wouldn’t upset Kazu.
After all, it didn’t matter that Kazu lost most of his memories to the accident. His eyes were working perfectly fine, as was his heart, and so it was kind of stupid to expect Kazu not to notice the things their mother wished to hide from him.
Satoshi-kun’s appearance hadn’t been totally unexpected, even though their mother kept on insisting she didn’t want him here. It was her distrust on him that was making things worst. But Kazue had had her eyes open even before the accident happened, when she saw Kazu dragging Satoshi-kun home to meet them the first time.
There was no way Satoshi-kun was involved in the accident, and even if her mother thought otherwise, that was never the case for her.
“Close the door please,” her mother reminded her when she stepped into the room, glancing around in confusion, seeing her mother sitting on the bed cradling something that looked like a small, wooden box in her hand. “then come here. I want to show you something.”
She did as she was told and closed the door behind her before she crossed the short distance between the door and the room without uttering a word. She waited with baited breath as she watched her mother opened the box wordlessly, watched as she pulled something out of it.
A silver necklace, she realized after a moment, when the chain was dangling in between her mother’s fingers, its pendant glistening brightly in the early morning sun bathing her mother’s room. It sure looked similar to those hiphop artists were wearing, and nothing like the one her mother would even think of buying for herself.
Come to think of it, it didn’t even look the least bit like it was a woman’s necklace, but a man’s. The design alone gave that away, and for a moment, she wondered if it was somehow owned by her father, one of his not-too-many valuable possessions her mother kept when he left.
“That’s - Is that Otosan’s necklace?” she asked.
The older woman shook her head and handed the said necklace over. Kazue carefully spread her hand to accept it.
“No,” her mother said, in a low voice.
“Kazu’s?” she amended.
She shook her head again. “I’m pretty sure it’s not,” she said, pausing for a moment to stare at the necklace once again, looking lost in her thoughts.
“Then who’s is it? And why do you have it?”
“They found it in Kazu’s possession on the day of the accident, by the medical team that responded that night. They said he was clutching it in his hand.” Her mother explained in a gravely tone, eyes never leaving the necklace now resting in Kazue’s hand.
Kazue felt a cold shiver ran through her, especially when her eyes caught the letter engraved on the pendant and then everything sort of just stopped.
The engraving looked very much like letter M.
What the hell is this about?
Pairing : Ohno/Jun, Sho/Nino, Aiba/Becky, Ohno/Nino, Eventual Jun/?
Rating : R
Summary : AU. Before Jun, there was only Nino. The man Ohno loved with everything he had, loved with such ferocity that any other emotion would pale in comparison. He was Ohno's everything, the love of his life, the person Ohno dreamed of sharing his whole life with someday. Until Nino's untimely death, six years ago.
Word count : around 1630 words
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Warning : Angst in large doses. Memory loss. Minor character death. One-sided love.
Note : Working my way through this one too. Hope you enjoy <3
(This fic is also available in AO3)
(I Have Kept You In My Heart - 14)
“So, that’s how it is, huh,” Jun muttered under his breath, looking at him with contempt even when his expression remained unchanged. “I turn around and you go running back to him as if - as if the past six years didn’t happen?”
He honestly didn’t know what else to say - he’d been shut down over and over, and any and all attempt he’d made to explain himself were simply ignored - and he was just, god, he was just so, so tired. He knew how much he’d hurt Jun - how much he was still hurting Jun now that he couldn’t even come up with a proper reply to let Jun know he didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but he was at this point where he felt like what they have, what they were to each other, was beyond fixing now.
He took a sip of the vending machine coffee he’d indulged Jun earlier, barely tasting it.
“I didn’t,” he said, after a long moment, “It’s not what you think it is.”
“Really?” Jun breathed, tone brimming with malice. He was only half-glad that Jun wasn’t shouting, or didn’t seem like he was half-way there. He seemed to have a better control of himself now than he did right after the accident.
“Are you saying you aren’t together? That you didn’t come here together, or that it’s just a stupid coincidence? You were pushing his fucking wheelchair, yfor fuck’s sake. Don’t take me for a fool, Satoshi; we’re way past all that ridiculous lies you keep on throwing at me when all I want is for you to be honest with me, just for once. Can’t you at least give me that much?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do since - since after the accident, and just before you left,” he sighed, wondering how long they would do this until one of them end up broken. “But you won’t listen to me.”
“Because you keep on lying to me!” Jun hissed. “Fuck, I - I give up. I swear I don’t know why we’re even talking. This - This is obviously not going anywhere, and I’m just so fucking tired of everything. I - Fuck this. Fuck!” Jun swore, shaking his head and throwing him a look that spoke volume, before turned around and walked away.
He had no strength left in him to stop Jun, or even follow him, so he just stayed put, staring after him silently hoping for that day when it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did now, most of all for Jun.
He honestly wished that for everyone involved, for Jun, for him and for Nino, too, only because he knew this wouldn’t end here.
Not yet, at least.
+
The session wasn’t as brutal as he imagined it, but he guessed that was because the doctor said forcing himself wouldn’t do him any good. We’d have to take it slow, Sakurai-Sensei had said, even though he’d rather do the opposite. But he knew it was just the frustration talking, more than anything, and he knew better than to give in to it. Still, it didn’t mean he had no right to feel this way, and he guessed that part was perfectly normal given the circumstances and the doctor had readily agreed to it when he brought the matter up.
“In other cases, I must say that the patient’s frustration usually speeds the recovery, but I don’t think that’s going to be the same with you, no offense meant.” Was what Sakurai-Sensei had said afterwards, sounding rather apologetic even though they both knew the doctor was right. Nino at least had the sense to shut his mouth and just listen to what the doctor had to say.
“We just need to follow this pace and I’m sure you’ll be better in no time,” Sakurai-Sensei announced cheerfully, as he helped him back to his wheelchair with ease. Nino was grateful for him, for taking care of him all these years (as what his mother told him) and for still doing the same now.
“The initial XRAY reports showed no sign of any permanent damage, so we’re just going for muscle training for now. You’ve been bedridden for six years, Ninomiya-san. It’s no wonder the muscles on your lower back and legs would be the ones to suffer. It would be like learning how to walk again, and you will, soon. I promise you that.”
He chuckled, affected by the doctor’s giddiness. He wondered if all doctors were like Sakurai-Sensei, and if not, he was more than a little glad Sakurai-Sensei was his. Amused by how that actually sounded even in his head, he shook his head and smiled to himself.
That was, until he realized they had company.
“I’ll take it from here, Sensei,” Ohno-san grunted by way of greeting, eyes dark they were almost completely black as he darted his glance between Nino and the doctor. The doctor’s lips twitched as if he wanted to say something, but stopped himself short seeing the expression on Ohno-san’s face.
For a moment there, Nino wondered what happened while he was gone because Ohno-san sure looked like he’d been to hell and back and was still reeling bitterly from the experience.
It shouldn’t matter to him - hell, he didn’t even know this guy, right? - but his heart obviously had a mind of its own. He was frowning hard and curling his fingers around the nearest part of Ohno-san he could reach - Ohno-san’s elbow, it seemed - and started tugging before he even realized what he was doing.
“Um, did something happen?” he asked. He honestly expected to be brushed off, especially with the way Ohno-san regarded him with a hard glance, but what he didn’t expect was the quick and yet tender swipe of Ohno-san’s fingers against his cheek. He was startled but he did his best to hide it by lowering his head.
“Nothing that you should be worried about,” Ohno-san murmured, stooping for a moment to squeeze his chin, before rounding the way to take the wheelchair duty from Sakurai-Sensei. “You’re good to go, right? Yeah, okay. Please excuse us, Sensei.” Ohno-san said.
Nino at least remembered his manners at the last minute, glancing back and tilting his head towards the doctor who looked not the slightest bit pleased. He couldn’t exactly blame him, but given the circumstances and the way his own heart was behaving towards Ohno-san’s obvious malaise, he couldn’t even find it in him to feel properly ashamed of himself as he remained quiet when Ohno-san started pushing his wheelchair towards the nearest elevator.
+
Kazue followed her mother to her room without a word after she gestured her to come with. She was quiet all morning, and Kazue had a feeling she was trying her best to ignore her distaste about the whole situation if only so she wouldn’t upset Kazu.
After all, it didn’t matter that Kazu lost most of his memories to the accident. His eyes were working perfectly fine, as was his heart, and so it was kind of stupid to expect Kazu not to notice the things their mother wished to hide from him.
Satoshi-kun’s appearance hadn’t been totally unexpected, even though their mother kept on insisting she didn’t want him here. It was her distrust on him that was making things worst. But Kazue had had her eyes open even before the accident happened, when she saw Kazu dragging Satoshi-kun home to meet them the first time.
There was no way Satoshi-kun was involved in the accident, and even if her mother thought otherwise, that was never the case for her.
“Close the door please,” her mother reminded her when she stepped into the room, glancing around in confusion, seeing her mother sitting on the bed cradling something that looked like a small, wooden box in her hand. “then come here. I want to show you something.”
She did as she was told and closed the door behind her before she crossed the short distance between the door and the room without uttering a word. She waited with baited breath as she watched her mother opened the box wordlessly, watched as she pulled something out of it.
A silver necklace, she realized after a moment, when the chain was dangling in between her mother’s fingers, its pendant glistening brightly in the early morning sun bathing her mother’s room. It sure looked similar to those hiphop artists were wearing, and nothing like the one her mother would even think of buying for herself.
Come to think of it, it didn’t even look the least bit like it was a woman’s necklace, but a man’s. The design alone gave that away, and for a moment, she wondered if it was somehow owned by her father, one of his not-too-many valuable possessions her mother kept when he left.
“That’s - Is that Otosan’s necklace?” she asked.
The older woman shook her head and handed the said necklace over. Kazue carefully spread her hand to accept it.
“No,” her mother said, in a low voice.
“Kazu’s?” she amended.
She shook her head again. “I’m pretty sure it’s not,” she said, pausing for a moment to stare at the necklace once again, looking lost in her thoughts.
“Then who’s is it? And why do you have it?”
“They found it in Kazu’s possession on the day of the accident, by the medical team that responded that night. They said he was clutching it in his hand.” Her mother explained in a gravely tone, eyes never leaving the necklace now resting in Kazue’s hand.
Kazue felt a cold shiver ran through her, especially when her eyes caught the letter engraved on the pendant and then everything sort of just stopped.
The engraving looked very much like letter M.
What the hell is this about?