(no subject)
i have started linking joseph. hotttttt joseph.
it is bad news.
technically, he is one of those 'all-rounder' guys. he is gorgeous, both in the face and the bod. he's a nice guy. makes me laugh. intelligent as far as i can tell, slightly suprising as before i got to know him someone described him to me as a 'neanderthal', lol. he's mature, despite being two years younger than me. he's amazing in bed, perfect - and not just in a 'great fuck' way, but every way; he kisses me loads, fucks well, cuddles me after AND stays the night. he's a guy i can actually see myself being with - i've been with guys who seem like 'all-rounders' before and always LIKE them, but realistically can't imagine being with them. joseph i can actually happily see myself falling asleep with every night.
but this is very bad news.
firstly because, on paper, he's NOT an all-rounder. he's two years younger than me! he has a child (ugh), and he doesn't have a job. (although, i am hoping to get him one at GAP).
and finally, most importantly, because it's just sex for him. as usual, i really like him, and he just wants an occasional casual fuck. reaaaaally bad news for my emotional state. i know i should listen to my head and stop seeing him, or atleast force myself to stop thinking so romantically about him.
but... somehow he is just different. i don't understand why, because its not like he sees me differently to any of the other guys i have dealt with. i'm still just a shag. i know that, because everytime i see him i'm on a high for a couple of days over how amazing it was/he is, but then i don't hear from him for 2-3 weeks and it's the worst fucking comedown you can imagine. i'm pretty certain he is fucking other girls and i am nowhere close to first in line.
but usually when i'm with a guy... even when we're having sex, when he's inside me, or even when i am lying next to him in his single fucking bed mere millimeteres away from him... i still feel alone.
when i'm with joseph, for whatever reason, i don't feel like i'm on my own anymore.
he makes me feel like a person. like i'm me, and like i'm worth something.
it is bad news.
technically, he is one of those 'all-rounder' guys. he is gorgeous, both in the face and the bod. he's a nice guy. makes me laugh. intelligent as far as i can tell, slightly suprising as before i got to know him someone described him to me as a 'neanderthal', lol. he's mature, despite being two years younger than me. he's amazing in bed, perfect - and not just in a 'great fuck' way, but every way; he kisses me loads, fucks well, cuddles me after AND stays the night. he's a guy i can actually see myself being with - i've been with guys who seem like 'all-rounders' before and always LIKE them, but realistically can't imagine being with them. joseph i can actually happily see myself falling asleep with every night.
but this is very bad news.
firstly because, on paper, he's NOT an all-rounder. he's two years younger than me! he has a child (ugh), and he doesn't have a job. (although, i am hoping to get him one at GAP).
and finally, most importantly, because it's just sex for him. as usual, i really like him, and he just wants an occasional casual fuck. reaaaaally bad news for my emotional state. i know i should listen to my head and stop seeing him, or atleast force myself to stop thinking so romantically about him.
but... somehow he is just different. i don't understand why, because its not like he sees me differently to any of the other guys i have dealt with. i'm still just a shag. i know that, because everytime i see him i'm on a high for a couple of days over how amazing it was/he is, but then i don't hear from him for 2-3 weeks and it's the worst fucking comedown you can imagine. i'm pretty certain he is fucking other girls and i am nowhere close to first in line.
but usually when i'm with a guy... even when we're having sex, when he's inside me, or even when i am lying next to him in his single fucking bed mere millimeteres away from him... i still feel alone.
when i'm with joseph, for whatever reason, i don't feel like i'm on my own anymore.
he makes me feel like a person. like i'm me, and like i'm worth something.