i don't mind if you don't mind.

[ohmanifesto]

i've been ill for say.. the past half-week or something. cold. but now the cold's ebbing away, leaving me with an awful cough instead. i've never had lemsip in my life. today i bought some but haven't actually tried any yet because it looks pure rank. i look pure rank. as various university pictures show. what i would give to change my appearance. i mean, on the whole i think i make the best of it and i don't look *too* awful at least some of the time. at least that's what the mirror tells me. but oh, lordy, put me into the presence of others and by comparison i look like something you'd see on rotten.com. my side/back profile are the absolute worst, i cannot stand it.

i'm still just as lonely. i changed one half of my combined hons degree; journalism with media & culture is now journalism with film. it's pretty good, i guess. familiar. and more enjoyable at the very least. i've noticed that one of the maintenance men is the fittest i've ever seen and he's definitely something to admire from the window when i'm milling about my kitchen.

i am in a vicious circle. i'm not entirely sure how to go about getting out of it. i have never felt so lonely and conspicuous in my entire life.