Gay Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by
Quizilla Humanity is going to hell in a Humvee.
Yeeeesssss. Gay Bear. And I was thinking I would be found out to be Cuticle-Biting Intimacy Ignominy Bear, or at least Lack of Dental Care Bear -- That's why people make their own quizzes...hmm...is THAT it? I'm GAY?!!! oh, shit! that's so tranny-chic, who'da thunk, a gay...
A lotta shit has happened, as it tends to do. It's been....four months since my last...confession. I miss this! Well, git along, little Doogie, git along: I have spent the past month pre-pre-preparing to go to nursing school -- no need to capitalize that N, it's all been rationalized and pre-pre-pre-finalized, it's a good choice, dammit, especially the advanced degree shit, and not because it is devoid of bodily fluids and blood borne pathogens. And, in my self-denial/self-aggrandizement way, I am very excited about...it. Long story short: my uncle offered to finance graduate school (MFA? no.) and the fire was lit... A tip o' the nib to Lilly Tomlin who said about becoming a sellout, "I've always been trying to sell out, but nobody was buying!" (or something like that)....funny thing, since I picked nursing (the superego is in charge of the recount, it's over, folks) everything else seems like a possibility now, like making a living goofing and writing and drawing and MFAs and international mediation...the rationalization process worked like a (smelly, spikey suspicious) charm -- If I really want to make art, I can become a medical illustrator after nursing school, or a -- get this, this is a real job, one that belongs to a friend of a classmate of mine -- a custom proscthetic parts sculptor!!! Yippee!!!!! Hell, I don't even need the uncle money, nurses are so in demand, and I am already in such debt...and i still got my health, so whaddoI care! What's going on here is I quit a horrible job and have been lifeguarding 20-30 hours a week since december -- no, it's not like baywatch, or even Gaywatch, as i had originally thought (the village people are writing a dirge; they won't change their tune for some minor infractions in the steam room of my YMCA) -- So now I am relaxed and my shit has been processed and Ive juiced a weekly batch of rationalizations and, either ive reached a sane peek OR a new low of insanity. Quizilla, Help me!!!!!!! Shit, yo, there's still all this other shit... the corporate colonization of the world, love, etc...I think my father's birthday is around now -- I just sent him a card begging his forgiveness for not writing since Christmas...what the fuck is that.....love, love, you're a recessive blessing wrapped in mystery tied with an enigma or whatever.....Ive been thinking a lot about Adelphi lately, like for the past four months, indeed -- was visited by H and her man, the two of them crawled everywhere i showed them, taking digital pictures and really looking at stuff...then B called and was worried about me since i hadnt been in touch -- i am terminally fucked with that, i will never maintain good friendships in a smooth fashion....then i went to a local alumni gathering, where the new prez told me he'd give my selfish ass-kissing greeting to my Learning center boss/mentor, and the other graduates, all over 40, tried to be comfortable in little mid-life cliques in a tiny mirrored room where the wine was flowin...people looked at my name tag and instantly started talking about "diamond --? what was his name?" and how horrible it must have been to be there -- actually that comment only came from a former theater major, who was handing out brochures to everyone advertising her private guidance counseling services... she was the only person i really talked to all night, except for my beloved T, who flinched not once and took it all in, i love her so much....it was a good experience in the end, like attending a talk show that didn't get aired (thank the goddesses)....i called j and m who are now living on l.i. -- together again after m's long stint at mama's....but i only left a message -- and i profusely congratulated j on her capturing the american idol crown -- could this be the reason they didn't call back? i was just kidding!!
it goes on.....