(no subject)
I hate myself for feeling this way. i have nothing to write down on this blank page because i know that it will mean nothing to anyone and everyone that reads it. How can i even put my thoughts to paper when i dont even know what's going on in my head, besides all the homework i have to do and all the errands i need to get done? im completely overwhelmed because i have no time for myself. i need another job but i really dont want one. i hate all these feelings of resentment for him. i hate all these feelings, period. yet i hate how i feel nothing at all. i dont like the fact that i can try to give advice to other people but i cant give it to myself. because i already know all of the things i would say, and while i acknowledge all that truth, it still sucks. i want to treat myself because i feel like i've been treating everyone else, but money's tight and i can't do that. i feel like i'm suffocating. im so sick of this. i dont know what to feel, so i try to feel what im supposed to feel because i feel like i have that obligation. God there's too many feelings involved.