"Not at all," he replied; "they were brightened by the exercise."
The last few days have been quite the roller coaster. Parents have been irritating me like none other, and school's been equally just as stressful. I'm at my grandparents now, which is nice. I always enjoy their company. But my dad came over this morning while I was sleeping; I'd heard him outside talking to my grandfather, but I didn't expect him to come in to the room I was sleeping in--he did. And he gave me a kiss. I pretended not to be awake for it, and then moments later, I really wasn't awake.
When I got up though, I took a shower and got ready to go to Spirit Mountain (a casino here in Oregon), but we stopped by Salem and went shopping first for a bit. I got some cool shirts! Depending on the weather tomorrow (which I'm crossing my fingers to be at least semi-nice), we're either going to go to the state fair or to the Washington Square Mall, which will be fun. Grandpa needs some shoes, and my grandparents always help out with school clothes, which I'm thankful for. They also gave me my bonds, which they've been acquiring since I was just a baby--well, since I was 1 year old, actually. I asked them to keep them safe for me in the mini-safe in their closet while I'm here, though. There's no reason for me to keep them out.
I got this really great shirt from Made In Oregon today though. It's this lovely cornflower blue color, and it's a big map of Oregon in white. And it's got like, portland, and all the major attractions and lakes and outdoors stuff on it. I really love it. There was also another one I loved, it was white, and had "50 Reasons to Love Oregon" on it, and then it had pictures next to the numbered listenings of all the things to love. And they were all very true, and all reasons why I love Oregon. But I'm sure there's also 50 reasons why I dislike Oregon, too. After that, my grandma bought me some little candles from Bath and Body Works. I got coconut vanilla and pineapple orchid. They smell lovely. Then I got a red Enjoi panda shirt, and then black, turquoise, grey, and red v-necks from Zumiez. Then we went to the casino and ate dinner, and I had salmon and chicken and some really good herb-cheese potatos.
On our way home, we stopped by Hollywood video and got "Fragments", a movie that I have zero knowledge about; "Coraline", WHICH I THINK IS THE GREATEST TIM BURTON FILM AND EVERYBODY SHOULD SEE 'CAUSE IT'S STOP ANIMATION AND SLIGHTLY FOR KIDS AND ACTUALLY FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT (aka I got scared!); and then another movie I don't really remember. Oh, "The Last House on the Left". Scary movie for Grandma and I, 'cause Grandpa doesn't like movies like that. We'll probably watch it tomorrow, since I'm going to be on the computer for a bit and then going to sleep. We want to leave by noon or so tomorrow either for the mall or the fair.
But yeah, that was my day. It was alright.
Past two or three days (not including today, because today was the first decent day I've had) have been pretty awful though. Ever since two nights ago, I've had this constant feeling in my chest, where my heart feels like it's beating really fast and it's heavy, like someone is pressing down on it as hard as they can. And I've got this really bad knot in my stomach, and I'm not nauseous, it's just this uncomfortable feeling, a feeling you get when something bad happens. Like a death, or you lose your favorite piece of jewelery, or 50 dollars. I suppose it's even more like the feeling you get when you know you've done something terribly wrong, and you don't want Mom or Dad to find out about it. But even that doesn't feel like an adequete discription of the feeling in my stomach. But I just haven't felt right, and I'm in perfect health.
I think I need to go to the doctors though. My anxiety level is way too high. Everything that calms me down is short-lived, and the littlest things seem to set me off. I'm hoping that when school starts back up some of it will subside because I'll be so focused and stressed out about school that I won't have the time or effort or state of mind to worry about other things, like my grandmother ending up like her mother and getting demensia, and then because my great grandmother has it, my grandma could possibly get it, my dad might get it, and i might get it. That's very frightening to me, and I don't want to forget things when I'm old. Not like that.
Uckfay.
When I got up though, I took a shower and got ready to go to Spirit Mountain (a casino here in Oregon), but we stopped by Salem and went shopping first for a bit. I got some cool shirts! Depending on the weather tomorrow (which I'm crossing my fingers to be at least semi-nice), we're either going to go to the state fair or to the Washington Square Mall, which will be fun. Grandpa needs some shoes, and my grandparents always help out with school clothes, which I'm thankful for. They also gave me my bonds, which they've been acquiring since I was just a baby--well, since I was 1 year old, actually. I asked them to keep them safe for me in the mini-safe in their closet while I'm here, though. There's no reason for me to keep them out.
I got this really great shirt from Made In Oregon today though. It's this lovely cornflower blue color, and it's a big map of Oregon in white. And it's got like, portland, and all the major attractions and lakes and outdoors stuff on it. I really love it. There was also another one I loved, it was white, and had "50 Reasons to Love Oregon" on it, and then it had pictures next to the numbered listenings of all the things to love. And they were all very true, and all reasons why I love Oregon. But I'm sure there's also 50 reasons why I dislike Oregon, too. After that, my grandma bought me some little candles from Bath and Body Works. I got coconut vanilla and pineapple orchid. They smell lovely. Then I got a red Enjoi panda shirt, and then black, turquoise, grey, and red v-necks from Zumiez. Then we went to the casino and ate dinner, and I had salmon and chicken and some really good herb-cheese potatos.
On our way home, we stopped by Hollywood video and got "Fragments", a movie that I have zero knowledge about; "Coraline", WHICH I THINK IS THE GREATEST TIM BURTON FILM AND EVERYBODY SHOULD SEE 'CAUSE IT'S STOP ANIMATION AND SLIGHTLY FOR KIDS AND ACTUALLY FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT (aka I got scared!); and then another movie I don't really remember. Oh, "The Last House on the Left". Scary movie for Grandma and I, 'cause Grandpa doesn't like movies like that. We'll probably watch it tomorrow, since I'm going to be on the computer for a bit and then going to sleep. We want to leave by noon or so tomorrow either for the mall or the fair.
But yeah, that was my day. It was alright.
Past two or three days (not including today, because today was the first decent day I've had) have been pretty awful though. Ever since two nights ago, I've had this constant feeling in my chest, where my heart feels like it's beating really fast and it's heavy, like someone is pressing down on it as hard as they can. And I've got this really bad knot in my stomach, and I'm not nauseous, it's just this uncomfortable feeling, a feeling you get when something bad happens. Like a death, or you lose your favorite piece of jewelery, or 50 dollars. I suppose it's even more like the feeling you get when you know you've done something terribly wrong, and you don't want Mom or Dad to find out about it. But even that doesn't feel like an adequete discription of the feeling in my stomach. But I just haven't felt right, and I'm in perfect health.
I think I need to go to the doctors though. My anxiety level is way too high. Everything that calms me down is short-lived, and the littlest things seem to set me off. I'm hoping that when school starts back up some of it will subside because I'll be so focused and stressed out about school that I won't have the time or effort or state of mind to worry about other things, like my grandmother ending up like her mother and getting demensia, and then because my great grandmother has it, my grandma could possibly get it, my dad might get it, and i might get it. That's very frightening to me, and I don't want to forget things when I'm old. Not like that.
Uckfay.